Granting my wish, he did as I said. He released me.

I ran out of the room, totally forgetting about Jesper. I remember hearing Jesper chasing after me calling out my name but it didn’t register in my head. I didn’t know where I was heading towards. I just ran. All I knew was, I needed to get out of that place, that memory and away from that person. When I finally stopped, I was reaching for my inhaler that I would usually deposit in my jeans pocket because my asthma hit as a direct effect of my panic attack and all the running. But it wasn’t there.

. I am not wearing my jeans. I poured everything out from my white purse with my hands shivering vigorously, only to realize that I left the inhaler in my car as it wouldn’t fit in my purse. I was literally out of breath due to suffocation and my vision blurred out slowly. Darkness concealed me after a few seconds and I fell onto the ground, unconscious.

5.02 a.m.

I opened my eyes and it was dark everywhere. I could feel the swell on my eyes. Where am I? What happened? Then the flashback played in my head like a film. I had dinner with Baekhyun. I ran. I couldn’t find my inhaler. I fainted. Jesper. JESPER. me. I stirred awake and fought to get up even though I could still feel the weariness. An easy task like getting out of the bed actually consumed so much of my energy I panted so hard just to sit up and I felt something moved at the side of the bed.

“Mommy?”

Jesper’s sleepy voice. Jesper? Was I focusing on getting up so much that I actually didn’t notice Jesper who was sleeping by the side of the bed?

“Jesper?” I reached out to hold him and he took my hand before I reached him, noticing how hard it was for me to even move. “I’m sorry, Jesper. I shouldn’t have run out like that. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I could feel my panic attack acting up again when the thought of I-would-have-lost-Jesper-forever hit me. “I thought I would have lost you.” The tears made their glorious way up to fill my eyes again and Jesper stretched himself out to hug me, trying to calm me down. . Why am I so useless.

“Jesper’s here, mommy. Don’t cry. Hush hush.” Jesper climbed onto the bed and put his hand on my back, moving it up and down. That was exactly when the sound of friction on the leather sofa rammed into my ears and I finally noticed there was another figure on the sofa near the door. The figure jerked awake from the nap.

“Sally? Are you awake?” he asked, sounding unsure. I was still panting through my panic attack, trying to breathe properly as he hurried to my side worriedly. “You okay?” he asked and I ignored. He didn’t bother to even think before he rang the bell on top of the bed and a nurse hurried into the room.

“Yes?” the nurse asked as she was walking towards me fast and when she could see me heaving, she knew I was having a panic attack again. “Oh my, Miss Jia? Can you breathe properly?” she said and she told me to follow her breathing techniques, which I certainly did. I was slowly able to breathe again but there were still hiccups from all the messed up crying. The nurse gave me a pill and a cup of water before she told me to rest and left the room. It was probably a sedative pill as I felt really sleepy after taking it. I fell asleep not long after.

1.26 p.m.

The next time I woke up, it was already one o'clock in the afternoon. Jesper was lying on the couch, reading Peter Pan. The next person I saw was my mom. She was cutting apples for Jesper when she realized I was awake. “My dear, you’re up. Are you feeling better?” my mom finished cutting the last piece of apple and she walked over to my side, placing a hand on my forehead as she asked. “I’m fine, mom. Don’t worry.” I smiled palely, trying to show that I was fine already after so much of rest. Asian mom being asian mom, she started all her usual nagging following after my ‘don’t worry.’

“You don’t know! I was scared to death when I received a call from an unknown number and heard Jesper crying in the call. I thought you got into an accident! Jesper was sobbing so hard, I could only hear some words like mama…... hospital….... faint…...” she gave a rather ridiculous expression, shaking her head. I laughed looking at the way my mom was describing it hilariously with all her exaggerated hand ges