I woke up in the middle of the night, 4:15 am to be exact. It was the worst and best dream I had had in a long time, but it left me sad and longing. It was about my first time with Jungkook, so realistic from the sound of his voice to the touch of his skin and scent. I wanted to cry and eventually did. I felt that by no longer being together, a part of me went missing; a part that I could never get back because it wasn't up to me anymore.

Then I cheered myself up by thinking of Hoseok; he did bring a smile to my face. I wondered, although very unconventional if I could ever have with Hoseok what I had with Jungkook. They were very different in personalities, careers, styles and appearance. Maybe Hoseok could never live up to the bar Jungkook had raised, but he still deserved a chance to earn his own place on my trophy shelf. Maybe he would even surprise me; so far my fondness for him was growing and anticipating.

My heart had settled back to bed, but my emotional morning wasn't over. I went into the kitchen to find my mother making a full course breakfast; that meant we were due for a talk. This couldn't come at a better time as I felt we were in need of some rekindling. We sat happily at the table with pancakes, sausage, berries, whip cream and syrup all within arm's reach. Most importantly we had our coffee mugs, no conversation would be complete without them.

"Sweetie, I've been meaning to talk with you…I know that you've witnessed Mr. Jung and I dating for several weeks now," I nodded enthusiastically. "And I just wanted to know what you thought about us eventually moving in together…in the future, not right now, though" she asked hopefully.

"Mom, I know you're scared if I'm going to think it's too soon or not, but I'm so happy for you. You've found someone who clearly makes you happy. So why wait?" I encouraged her

"Oh Iseul, you don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that! And of course I mean much later in the future, I just wanted to know where you stood with all this."

"Mom it's your life. It actually pleases me to know that you won't be alone when I go off to culinary school. You'll be taken care of," I smiled and squeezed her hand.

"Fantastic! So tell me, how have you been? How's work and school?"

"Both are fine, it's my love life that's a little unpredictable these days."

"How so?"

"Well okay, I'm just going to spill it…how weird would it be if Hoseok and I were dating while you were dating his brother?" I feared her answer.

"Well that was unexpected, but I already knew he liked you…I could tell. I know they're brothers and the situation is quite unique, but I have no problem with it. Now if he were Mr.Jung's son…that's a different story."

I squeezed my mother's hand again as we both brought a sense of relief to the table. Then she placed an envelope in front of me, it was stamped from San Francisco. I jumped in my seat as I also saw the California Culinary Academy logo on the far corner. In desperation my mother waved her hands for me to open it already. I used my knife to slice through the envelope and snatched out the paper.

I read it quietly. It's as though reading it the first two times wasn't enough; I had to reread the first line 4 more times. My heart sunk in my chest as my eyes began to water; not intentionally. It was a very emotional morning.

"I got IN!" I shrieked.

We bolted out of our chairs and started jumping around together overjoyed. Finally, my time of independence was at my fingertips in a matter of months. I would be housing in San Francisco, but knowing me and my eyesore relationship mindset, I wondered if it was wise to start something with Hoseok, since I refused to engage in another long distance commitment…ever!

Later that day, I drove over to Sora's house with Jimin and his truck to help her move. Luckily there was little furniture, but I can't forget the awkward picture of the 4 of us under the same roof. Yes, Taehyung was there. His hair was long , completely transformed…spiritually. I was glad to see this different person be there for his sister.

Sora was very pregnant, weeks away from completing her full term. I even saw a bit of a waddle. Still she seemed peaceful and confident…on the outside. It took us a few hours, yet with our splendid team work, we were all at Taehyung's apartment and bringing in the last trash bags of her clothes and shoes. I couldn't tell if she was having a hormonal 'preggie' moment but Sora started saying that she didn't want it. She didn't want all these clothes and shoes.

"What do you want to do with it?" I asked concerned.

"Give it away! I don't want it! I don't need it! My baby doesn't even have an outfit to come home in," she began to shed a tear.

I looked at Taehyung speechless; I didn't know what to say. Jimin went to console her while Taehyung took me outside to talk.

"My mother is slowly coming around but my dad is too stubborn and prideful. Sora doesn't know this yet but my mother , we've arranged a baby shower tomorrow night. We've received donations of new clothes and baby equipment so the baby is taken care of. Everything else I went and got; it's just all stashed in the downstairs garage. She can't see anything yet."

I shook my head and gave Taehyung a hug for assuming so much responsibility when he didn't have to. Jimin then stepped out and said that Sora was calling for me. We switched places and I ran to Sora to see what was wrong. She was still in tears but clearly it wasn't about the bags or possessions.

"I don't know if I can do this Iseul. I'm not ready nor am I fit to be a mother," she continued to cry covering her face with her hands.

"Have you considered giving her up for adoption?" I suggested.

"I've thought about it. But the thought of me giving her up, leaves me having nightmares every night. I know that would haunt me forever, wondering where she was when I have the choice right now to avoid all that."

I rubbed her back while holding her hand. I couldn't imagine how afraid she must have felt. The terror shot from her eyes. No one is ready to be a parent until they plop that baby on your chest and you're forced to be responsible for another being; a responsibility you never assumed properly with yourself to begin with. I wanted to comfort her but I was running out of things to say.

"I need to confess something to you… I couldn't find my phone, so I went looking for you at the restaurant. I found Yoongi there and he treated me to dinner, but I sat by myself," she quickly clarified as though I were to get mad or something. "And we talked afterward for hours. I told him that I had doubts about keeping this baby as well. And he told me that he wanted to be there for me and the baby. And he touched my face…but nothing happened. I swear!"

I just smiled. Perhaps if I had heard something like this a while back, I might have felt a little jealous. But after learning his true feelings for me and now that I've sort of chosen Hoseok, I felt completely fine. I did want them to be together in the first place right? Yes.

"Sora, you don't have to worry. I want you two to be close friends. He really is a great guy you can trust and depend on. So is your brother, and if something flourishes between you and Yoongi than I will be more than happy for you. Just remember that you have friends that are willing to help you too."

"Thanks Iseul."

"By the way, Hoseok and I…are kind of seeing each other."

"I know, Yoongi told me. I'm happy for you too. Does this mean you've finally let go of Jungkook?"

"I want to believe so," I thought aloud.

We had cycled around to the month of amore. This time, I wasn't a Valentine's Day hater because I had a possible date this year. My mom also had a family dinner planned; apparently Mr. Jung wanted to do something different… together. I was all for it, I mean I might as well start getting used to seeing Suran as my sister now. Isn't that every best friend's wish come true?

I understood how hard it was for Hoseok to call me but we did text back and forth as often as he could; usually real early in the day and late at night. Unlike this previous scenario, he'd come down to stay at his brother's house on the weekends. And believe it or not, Hoseok kept a respectable distance in and outside the house with me.

We had only been on one more 'date' since our bike ride and that was including Suran, so I guess that was more of a 'hangout'. We jogged on a beautiful trail in the park, only it was more like Suran and Hoseok were running and I was trying not to pass out as my breathing was all over the place. Running isn't on my list of talents; inhaling and exhaling while keeping track of my pace is a challenging multi-task.

One thing was for sure, we hadn't kissed again since we were on that hilltop. It was bittersweet really. I mean what girl wouldn't want to jump at the sight of him and thought that he craved you? But we were taking it slow, which I liked…sometimes. I tell you it doesn't take much to change my mind, especially when I see him in any type of uniform.

My mom, Jimin, Suran, Yoongi and I went to Sora's shower; a beautiful surprise for her to say the least. She was more than overwhelmed and humbled to have received so many gifts and love in one evening. I hoped that she would realize that she was not alone in raising this baby, there would be plenty of aunts and uncles to adopt little Rhea.

But alas it was Valentine's Day. I had received a text from Hoseok that he was going to have