SEULGI's POV

The point of me selling my salvation for a change in our lives might not be the best action i did, but it was the little rather than nothing.

*knock knock*

There was a handsome man who walked inside our room after knocking twice. He has this great smile greeting our class and girls automatically paid attention, and so did i. Not because i found him handsome, but because i know something doesn't sit right with the man standing in front of us telling us he will be our temporary teacher.

While everyone is looking at him with amazement, i caught that he has this shining aura, and i knew. I knew it immediately.

A guardian came down.

But why? 

And in my class? A shiver went up my spine. Does he know? I felt nervous. I felt more and felt like I'm gonna vomit when his eyes found mine and looked at me with a smile.

The class started with our new teacher and aside him being handsome he had this authoritative feel that made everyone listen to him. But all i can do is doodle at the back of my notebook wondering if this is Seungyeon's guardian, or maybe Jonghyun's. But why in my class? He cant be my guardian since i already disconnected.

The bell rang signaling us for lunch break and i want to stand up but i cant, its not against my will but im more of being afraid to pass by his desk as i go out. I was left seated while everyone goes out.

"Seulgi, arent you going to eat?" Eri said before going out.

"Not feeling hungry." I said with a smile and Eri nodded and proceeded. When i realized our temporary teacher hasn't gone out and it was the only two of us in the room, i felt nervous but more braver than at any other time.

"You sure you're not hungry? You should have something to eat." He spoke as he sat at the table crossing his long legs.

"You came for me. Whose guardian are you?" I said, i have to get on with it. Theres no point in avoiding him.

With a flick of his finger, the room's door closed and his face became serious.

"You've tampered the life times." He said.

"Of Jonghyun's or Seungyeon's?"

"Both"

"Then whose guardian are you?"

"Thats not whats important. Why did you do it?"

"Thats the million dollar question isnt it? Why did i have to do it? Why did i have to do something to change what is right? Why did i have to change what has been decided and has always been." I said clenching my fists as i feel it tremble, I maybe scared as of the moment, but i feel braver more than before.

"Ive researched you. You're not the type to do reckless stuff because you like it. And you love Seungyeon like a sister. So tell me why you had to let go of your chance of salvation and tampering the life times." He said and i saw his concern. It made me feel like i want to cry. I do want to cry.

"I do love her like a sister. And yes, i dont do reckless stuff. I had a reason. I have to change it you know-- in order for us to be able to live."

"But you are able to live, you all are. Or were. If only you didnt have to be immortal, if only you had been able to move on. Seungyeon would have lived longer, and you wouldnt be able to suffer seeing your loved ones die and reincarnate and not remember you."

"Just like what happens in every life we have." I whispered but i know if he heard. I looked at him eye to eye. "Dont you see where im coming from? If seeing the person you love the most die followed by another person you hold dearly is living then i think we have different dictionaries." I looked down at my hands in my table.

There was a silence and he just looked at me.

"Are you happy with your decision?" He asked softly. I raised my head and looked at him.

"No. . . . But for once, i feel like i have a meaning. I feel like im doing something not for myself but for the people i love." I slightly smiled

"What you have done, has little by little changing the path of three lives. Do you understand how grave that can be in the next life times?"

I chuckled. "Three lives. Since i wont be living anymore."

"You shouldn't have done what you did. Its wrong in the first place."

"And what? Just stay put while in our every life it doesn't change the fact that Seungyeon and Ah In would always die? And Jonghyun and I would always suffer? Is that what you call living? Is that what you mean by right? I only did what i did because of love, i love the three of them that i threw every thing of mine, i haven't left anything for my sake for their sake of having a life when they reincarnate. If that is wrong then they wont have to suffer right? They'll just have to live the life i have given them while i take all of the pain. Its only me, its only my punishment and not theirs. Its only mine."

"Then what about the pain of longing for your love that you wont ever meet again because something has changed?" He said.

"They wont remember."

"Their thoughts wont, but their heart will. They would love and live with the life they have, theres no helping it. But if in their next lives, they wont ever meet again after thousands of life times that they had. Their heart will know, they would go on with the different person they choose, but there will aways be longing for another person that they wont remember."

"At least they wont have to feel the pain of seeing their love die and feel it again in the next life."

"The feeling of longing for something or someone you don't even know is worse than seeing someone die." He said softly and i glared at him.

"THERES NOTHING WORSE THAN BEING IN PAIN KNOWING THAT YOU WONT EVER SEE THE PERSON YOU LOVE!" I shouted.

"But theres closure. There is acceptance. There is the choice of understanding that everyone will eventually die and move on. But with something that you cant even explain because you cant remember is something you wont be able to have closure. Think about Ah In having a family in his next life but wont be fully committed because he knows in hi heart, he loves another woman." He explained and my tears have let go.

"I know i have made the right choice. Because i did it out of love." I said in between of sobs.

"Love can be perceived in different ways. It can be very generous, and it can be very selfish. It can make us brave, and also very scared. It can make us feel happy, but mostly hurt. But that is love and love itself is a mysterious thing. That is why, in love-- theres no right or wrong. But! Even though, you were right or wrong... You weren't in the position to decide for what has already been decided. You were against time, the universe and everything else above humanity and to it, you are just a speck of dust."

When he said it, the people were on cue and he moved back behind his desk as students returned from the cafeteria. He greeted the students as if we weren't talking and nothing happened. Its unfair how i look so bad with my eyes red and swollen.

Eri came back and saw me, ran to me and squatted next to me.

"Are you okay? Why are you crying?"

"Eri, can you please take Seulgi to the clinic? It seems she's feeling sick." Our temporary teacher said and Eri nodded. She helped me up and walked with me to the clinic.

As we walked, i pondered about what the guardian said.

I was against time, the universe and everything else above humanity.

If i was against them, yet managed to change little things in our lives. How big would the change be in the next life times?

What will become of us ?

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*beep beep beep beep*