"It was like a dream, that dream that you wanted to continue but you woke up and then you wanted to sleep more so you can go back to the dream but you cant." - Victoria Song (WGM episode)

His kiss was warm and soft and beautiful. it was the best three seconds of my life, as he broke the kiss and I slowly opened my eyes finding his eyes on me with a smile on his lips-- my heart was fluttering unconditionally. how I wanted to feel it for a longer time but I knew being the moment short was better, because at least I remembered to breathe.

"you are so beautiful, my love" he said with just our faces an inch apart that I felt his breathe.

"I--uhhh--how? what am I supposed to say?" I said, totally lost and I don't even know how to respond. He stepped back as to give space while he was chuckling and the sound of his laugh put a smile on my face unknowingly.

"You don't need to respond anything Seungyeon" he said. he was still holding my hand and a thought came into my mind.

who is this man in front of me holding my hand? Is it Lee Jonghyun from my previous life or the present Jonghyun ? I felt a little scared. my heart started to beat fast but because I am nervous-- and scared. His smile disappeared as he saw my face, he squeezed my hand and put his other hand on my cheek, looking worried--I looked into his eyes. its the same eyes of present Jonghyun, but why am I feeling like he didn't come from this time? like the way he calls me 'my love' -- and for one, present Jonghyun wouldn't even act like this to me----right?

"What is it ? What is bothering you?" he asked as he caressed my cheek and as I look into his eyes, I can feel his worry, I can feel his sincerity.

"Who are you?" I asked softly and he was quiet for a while. our eyes locked to one another as I waited for him to answer

"I am Lee Jonghyun, Seungyeon ah" he said firmly

"From what life time?"

"Both." he answered immediately without his voice breaking and I can feel seriousness from his words. 

"h--how? how is it possible? Jonghyun from present doesn't love me."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because he loves Seulgi, my bestfriend."

"Cant he have a change of heart?" he? 

"you are talking as if talking about another person." I stepped back from him and let go of his hand.

"I am who I am Seungyeon, I am both from past and the present." he said firmly

"What? how ? how can that be possible? and change of heart? in a day?" how can he love me suddenly? when its just been days that I met him, and previously he was smittenly in love with Seulgi, and I know that because I saw him that way. 

"I--I don't know Seungyeon, just--it just happened, that I woke up and suddenly I realized that I love you, that --that I think I cant live without you. " now he sounded like the present Jonghyun but what he was talking about was not present Jonghyun.

"you are making me confused ! and for once I thought I already found peace" I said and turned around and looked at the city lights, taking a deep breathe. he then walked in front of me looking into my eyes.

"i don't want you to feel confused Seungyeon, but I have two people inside me Seungyeon, I have the memories of the past me and it really really makes me feel so much emotions...he was seriously crazily in love with the past Seungyeon and --and now (sigh) I think-- I think I'm being the same." he said as he breathed the last part and looked at the ground.

"what do you mean?" I asked, he then looked up to me and held both of my hands.

"Remember when you disappeared? when I went looking for you that I screamed at you? that was the day Seulgi told me she cheated on me."

"you knew already?" I breathed and he widened his eyes.

"you knew too?" I nodded. he closed his eyes for a moment as he took a breathe but opened them afterwards. " It doesn't matter, what I'm trying to say is-- when she told me she cheated I knew I should have been angry, that I loved her and she cheated on me-- but I wasn't."

"i don't get it---" I said

"i wasn't angry at her Seungyeon, instead I didn't feel anything, I didn't feel angry at her or upset or anything--but when she mentioned your name, it felt like I was woken up with cold water that I realized I have left you alone and the fact that I wasn't able to see you made me more crazier for looking for you-- and when there was no answer (sigh)" he closed his eyes and put his head down again "when there was no answer from you I felt scared, I was really scared especially that you were gone for hours and I was feeling like I have already lost you forever." he lifted his head and opened his eyes. "and then when you called my name that day, I felt like I had another chance, that I felt like I could breathe again but I am sorry for shouting at you that day."

"what are you trying to say from all of that?" I asked and he took a breathe

"I'm saying that since then, since the moment I realized that you disappeared from me, his feelings, the past me -- was all over me... that it wasn't just my emotions anymore, but-- but also the emotions of the past me who loved you so much."

"You knew this on that day?"

"No, I just realized everything a while ago, when I out. After I out and felt that I cried, I was confused and lost -- but as Seulgi kept on talking and Ah In by your side,  I was feeling angry and confused but as I was feeling those a part of me knows that it was somebody else's feelings, because as I think of it -- it doesn't make sense if I was feeling angry at Ah In because I don't even know the guy and the way you talked to him as if he was a special person for you really made me upset and fired up." as he explained his voice also changed as he was talking about Ah In, as if he got upset about talking to him.

"then-- then who loves me Jonghyun? is it the past or the present? if-- if your feelings are being influenced by the past then how can you be so sure that you-- the present you loves me?" I looked at his eyes as I asked him and his pupils were shaking, as if he was scared of something. He then held both of my shoulders and lowered his stance so he can level with me.

"i love you... I am sure Seungyeon. As I think of it, I even fell in love with you at first sight, when I saw your picture at your wake--the reason I walked to your picture was as if your eyes was pulling me towards you, as if gravity was pulling me to look at that picture but I realized it late. I thought I loved Seulgi, I thought she was my everything, but when I realized that you are such a beautiful person inside and out, even if its just been days since we met I saw how strong you have been-- how strong you have been even with all of this unknown matters make you confused and lost and scared, you still stand up and strongly lead yourself and of course on how you love your family...all of these things, I have realized it just a while ago and now that I have you here, right in this moment-- whether you'll believe that the present Jonghyun also loves you... I will tell you that I..LOVE...YOU" he emphasized the last words and my heart went crazy... I looked down at the ground as he was still holding my shoulders and he was waiting for a response but I don't even know how I am supposed to respond to his words

should I tell him I love him too? when I am not even sure of myself? and how can I be so sure that his feeling aren't influenced by the past Jonghyun? 

"do you love me?" he asked, still with his head leveled on mine and his eyes staring straightly at me and my blood was rushing to my face.

"I-- I don't know." I answered honestly. I closed my eyes. he let go of me and in that moment I looked at him make that distance and my eyes widened. as if it felt wrong that he let go of me.

"i am not forcing you to say that you love me too, but if what Uriel said is right, that we both loved each other very much and confirming that myself, i believe that you also love me." he said without breaking a beat, and his words left an impression on me. The part that he was able to confirm what Uriel told us about us being in love with each other very much in our past lives.

"what if I'm not able to feel that? what if-- what if i change? " his eyes widened, Uriel did also tell us that my fate is changing because ei met him when technically I'm not alive anymore.

"i will still believe in destiny Seungyeon. i wasn't that kind of person before i met you but now-- now that all of this is happening right in front of me, i will trust that Destiny has brought us together... Because from what Uriel said that in every life time we met and have loved each other even with them trying to change your course, we still end up meeting and love each other very much... Even with this lifetime, i may have not met you when you were alive but--- but i still met you and as of right now, you are human and your heart is beating. I still met you-- i still met you Seungyeon." he said and kept on repeating the last part as if it was so surreal to him. He smiled.

I walked close to him. I grabbed his right hand and he looked at me with his eyes big. i looked at his eyes.

"i don't know what to tell you, what i should do. And i am so sorry if i cant tell you right now that i love you." i said to him and he shook his head "but if what you are saying is real and sincere, then i will trust you. " that is the only thing i think i can do that would be both in our favor. he smiled then hugged me, tight.

"Thank you, I love you so much" he said and with my control, i smiled.