Seulgi’s POV

“Seulgi, how are you and Jonghyun?” Seyoon asked me as we ate lunch

“Were fine. Why you asked?”

“Oh uh nothing. Where do you guys go to have a date?” she asked and I was getting bothered a little why she is curious.

“We haven’t really dated a lot, but sometimes we meet at the park, we mostly talk through phone”

“Oh, how about the amusement park? Have you guys went to the amusement park? Soojin and I went there the other day, it was really beautiful.”

“No, we haven’t went to that. Maybe I’ll ask him out. Thanks though for that information.” Then Seyoon’s expression was unreadable, she looked like she was about to vomit what she was eating, her eyes were moving from side to side.

“Oh, yeah sure. Ummm, im done eating, im gonna go first ‘kay?”

“Sure. I’ll just finish this.” Then she nodded and stood up and went away. I finished my food and went to the comfort room before going back to class. And I cant help but think of what Seyoon was saying a while ago. Did she see Jonghyun go to the amusement park?

Did he? With who? With her? I mean, its about time she turns human.

Seungyeon.

I brought out my make-up kit and retouched.

She should have just stayed away from Jonghyun, she’ll just hurt herself before moving on to the next life, she just doesn’t really know when to stop—this is why we cant move on. We all can’t move on.

I finished up and went back to my class room. As our teacher arrived and started discussing the lesson, I took out my phone and texted Jonghyun

“Did you go to the amusement park the other day?” I sent and just a few seconds after,

“Yeah, with Hana.”

“Only with Hana?” I sent and his reply took long. Im pretty sure he is thinking about what to say, I know him—he wants to tell the truth but he is trying to spare my feelings… or fake feelings.

“Can we talk later? After class.” His reply and I knew it, I expected that kind of reply

“Later, at the fountain after class. If anything is bothering you, I wish you’d tell me.” I guess acting comes so natural now.

“Yeah, later.” And I didn’t reply back anymore.

I have sacrificed everything, even my salvation. But our fates just always end up the same, its about time we change it—I change it. When Ah In and Seungyeon died in the past life, I saw myself in Jonghyun, he was totally lost and wrecked and I knew, I knew that I was like him when I lost Ah In. I tried to follow them in death, only I didn’t go through the same way they did. I went to the other direction.

I tried to kill myself and I did succeed, but I was on the other side. Because trying to kill oneself is a sin and thus I went the other way. In there I always felt the pain and it was like dying every second, feeling all the pain of losing someone, the regret and the sadness. It was like dying again and again and it was the price to pay for taking over death, but I managed to be human now—paying a bigger price.

My salvation, my soul never moving on and I have to live with it forever. It might sound good, but only on one side, just try living forever and never forgetting anything. Try meeting a person who you will hold close in your heart and see them grow old and die and be renewed in another life but they will never know you and the memories you shared together no matter how good it was. You will get at one point of being tired of being alive but there’s no other way and not even death can save you from the torment because I already died once and bargaining my salvation to become a soul who will never move on was the best choice I had—a choice that I needed to make not only for me but also for Seungyeon, Jonghyun and Ah In.

Before I made the choice I was just like the rest, but at one lifetime, when Ah In died, I think it was in the 1900’s I was so emotionally wrecked and as if I lost my reason to live but Seungyeon was there for me, but when Seungyeon also died saving someone from that lifetime—the pain doubled and I made the decision to take my life. Only that resulted to me going the other way and I discovered that it was a slight change to our fate. I made the first move in changing something in our written course, when I learned that in every lifetime Ah In and Seungyeon dies and Jonghyun and I go through the pain in every life time and I learned about the choice I can make I decided that maybe we had to change it. Make our fate change its course and maybe we all can live happily ever after in the end, or them at least. And maybe its effecting, Seungyeon meeting Jonghyun after death.

I love them, which is why it hurts me to hurt them. But I would want to see Ah In live his life even if its without me this time, see Seungyeon live her life and same as Jonghyun.

Im not trying to break them up, but if it is what is needed to be done for them to live a life that would at least hit the 70 year old life then I should. Seungyeon deserves so much in life and Ah In too, the past Jonghyun didn’t even try to have a life when Seungyeon died

*kriiiiing kriiiiiiing*

“Class dismissed.” Our last subject teacher announced and I packed up my things, I took a breath and headed to the fountain where I will meet Jonghyun.

When I got to the fountain I saw his back and he turned his head to the side and I saw his lips move as if he was talking to someone, who I guess is Seungyeon. I put on my brave face and prepared myself knowing I will lie again and hurt them both. I walked to Jonghyun and he looked at me with those sympathetic eyes.

“I know what you are going to say. You are sorry.” I said as I looked at him straight in the eyes and he lowered his head. I wonder what Seungyeon is saying to him.

“Yes, I am.” He said

“I know you went with someone, but I don’t care.” He looked up to me and his eyes are a little bigger than normal. “I won’t get mad, because you weren’t when I did the same. And because---“  I shouldn’t say this but I have to, I’m sorry Seungyeon. “Because I love you.”

“But—“ he tried to speak but I cut him off,

“I won’t let go of you, I really wont. I don’t care if you try to hurt me which I believe you won’t do because I know you have a good heart. I’d like to believe that somewhere deep down you care for me even the slightest bit.”

“I do but I—I don’t love you Seulgi, not anymore.” He said, and I faked a reaction but I know the truth better than him, he just doesn’t love Seungyeon—he needs Seungyeon in his life.

“I don’t care, I still love you and I wont let go of you.”

“I cant repay your love for me.” He said, you don’t have to.

“You don’t have to, just be with me.” When I said that a cold wind blew past me and I felt like crying. “ I have to go Oppa, we have a lot of homework to do, im going home first.” I said and walked closer to him and reached in to kiss him on the cheek, i walked away without looking back.

I am so sorry, I really am.

__________

Seungyeon’s POV

Seulgi reached in to kiss Jonghyun in the cheek and I felt my heart sting, but someone was hurting more than me. Ah In, he still hasn’t moved on from Seulgi, he tried to shake Seulgi while she was speaking but being a soul, I bet Seulgi felt that cold wind Ah In brought. Ah In was crying and it was the first time I saw him cry like that, Jonghyun don’t even know what to do. How can our lives be this messed up?

*beep beep beep beep*

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hi guys! sorry for a really late update. I guess i had a writer's block but in the time i was out i was looking for inspiration and i was refreshed. To be honest, when i thought of this story i already had an ending, but now i have decided for another ending so i hope that even with me taking to update too long i hope that you still would wait for my story. Thank you very much for every view and comment and upvote and subscribers for this story !