fkjdjklg I didn't update this when I wanted to T^T anyway I missed A LOT of days so I'm going to try and update again today and twice tomorrow and then twice again the next day, I think that will bring me back up to where I'm supposed to be I dunno, we'll see :" 

This chapter was still kinda.....meh but the next one will be happier and fluffier ^^ /huehue i think this is ending soon XD/ tbh this is kinda a filler though since i need a step before sehun can be all buddy buddy with alphas and xiumin talks to that other gamma and tracks down sehun's family and all that drama ish stuff that's gonna happen soon

~ Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing. It’s okay not to be okay. ~

After that it was silent, Xiumin had stayed frozen to his spot after Sehun had said that not knowing what to say. Judging from the way the other had kept silent after he didn’t think he was waiting for a response.

Soon he heard Sehun’s breaths evening out he knew for certain this time the omega had fallen asleep.

Once again he carefully adjusted himself to hold Sehun and carry him bridal style. He walked inside the house, walking slowly and carefully as to not awake the sleeping omega in his arms. When he woke up Xiumin still didn’t know how to go about anything, he had just helped Sehun realize and really come to terms with what happened to him and in turn the omega opened up to him. They hadn’t really sorted anything out like how he hoped they would but he knew at least it was a start. Sehun understood, truly understood the weight of those alpha’s actions and even though he was hurt he didn’t know before that he was allowed to be hurt. That still however didn’t help with his heat. He just hoped when the day came they would have worked something out, or Sehun trusted him enough to let him stay and try to help. In the back of his mind he still wondered where Yongguk, Jongup, and Zelo had wondered off to but figured what would have to wait until after the omega was in bed.

Gently he set him down in the used to be guest room that now belonged to Sehun, he arranged the omega slightly under the covers and watched as the omega found himself a comfortable position.

After making sure the other was truly deeply asleep he kissed his forehead and quietly left the room, sighing as he did so. He really wanted to know how many times he had sighed today alone.

Going back downstairs and into his garden he saw a very judgmental looking couple staring at Jongup.

“Come on Zelo you’re so mean.” Said omega pursed his lips, tilting his head.

“You know if Yongguk weren’t here you would agree with me!”

Zelo stayed silent for so long Xiumin actually thought he was going to agree but the omega only looked to the side and shrugged. “That’s questionable.”

Yongguk stayed silent as they proceeded to bicker and Xiumin walked over to him, tapping his shoulder to catch his attention as he seemed to be dazed, just staring off into nothing. Xiumin often wondered what Yongguk thought about, he seemed to get lost in his thoughts. The other alpha had even told him sometimes he just played out random scenarios in his head, Xiumin found it interesting and even though he knew Yongguk would never truly be ever to fully replicate what he saw in his mind asked him to describe what he thought about.

When Yongguk snapped out from his trance he smiled at seeing Xiumin.

“Everything okay?”

Xiumin’s smile slightly faded and he guessed it showed as concern flashed through Yongguk’s eyes briefly.

“It’ll be okay for now I guess.”

He nodded then turned to Zelo and Jongup, the two still arguing about something meaningless.

“So I talked to them….they’re still pretty shaken up. They don’t know what they did to get Sehun like that. Do you know?”

Xiumin shook his head, that was one of the questions he hadn’t gotten to ask.

“No, I’ll ask when he wakes up. They shouldn’t worry too much. I should’ve warned them more about his…..state I suppose.”

Yongguk patted his back and pulled him in close.

“Don’t worry about it, they’re just worried about Sehun.”

Xiumin smiled again. “Well then its okay, he’ll be okay.”

“Good, they thought you would be mad at them.”

“Why would I be?”

“Sehun started crying. He’s your mate. You’re an alpha and they’re omega and upsilon.”

“Alright I see the point.”

Yongguk flashed his gummy smile then quickly broke up the ‘fight’ still occurring between Jongup and Zelo. Both very nervous at seeing Xiumin but he only smiled letting them relax just a tinge.

“It’s alright. I know you didn’t mean to make him upset. I should’ve…..well I guess Sehun has certain things that set him off. Even I didn’t know that but I still should’ve warned you to be careful, so I apologize for that.”

“No its okay hyung….I mean even if we don’t know about Sehun’s past in detail we still should’ve watched what we said.”

Xiumin decided to let it go, knowing it would be an endless back and forth.

”Well either way I promise you he’s fine so don’t worry alright?”

The two still seemed hesitant but one smile from Xiumin and they nodded. He guided them all back inside.

“So do you guys want to do anything?”

“Can we watch a movie?”

“A game!”

Xiumin bit his bottom lip, trying to think of a way to make both of them happy just as his front door slammed open, he sighed irritatedly while Yongguk chuckled amusedly.

“WASSUP, I’M BACK ES. YOUR LIVES JUST GOT BETTER YOU’RE VERY MUCH WELCOME!”

Xiumin rolled his eyes as Baekhyun waltzed in like he owend the place. Followed of course by Daehyun.

“So bestie, what we doing?” Baekhyun’s eyes sparkled as soon as they saw him before he scanned the room then frowned. “Where’s Sehunnie?”

“He’s sleeping.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s fine, anyway……what gave you the right to do that?”

Baekhyun looked confused before he smirked.

“Some things never change. Besides your moms said I can just walk right in.”

“Yeah but I don’t think they meant like that.”

Baekhyun batted his lashes innocently. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Rolling his eyes again Xiumin quickly dropped that conversation as well, knowing Baekhyun wasn’t going to yield at all.

After that Daehyun smiled and stood next to Zelo and Jongup. “Well I just heard that our gammas should be here soon, maybe late tomorrow.”

Xiumin hummed before sitting down on the couch and rubbing his head.

He had so much piled onto his plate that he had almost forgotten about the discussion needed with the gammas about their living space. If they decide to say yes, which was already pretty obvious as they already sent half their pack.

Daehyun glanced at Xiumin before turning to his attention to Baekhyun when he heard an annoyed sigh from Yongguk.

“I…I don’t know. Why do you always ask me these questions?”

“I don’t know…why do you never have the answer?” Walking over to them he gently pinched the nape of his neck making him whimper. “What was that for?!”

“Why are you annoying hyung….again?”

“I told you I need a replacement for Kyungsoo.” Suddenly his eyes lit up and before Daehyun could stop him he launched himself right onto Xiumin’s lap.

The alpha was obviously startled and frowned staring down at the delta who merely smiled. “So…where’s Kyungsoo?”

“Oh…how should I know, I was never close to him.”

“Yeah….but still!!” Baekhyun whined and Xiumin was tempted to throw him off his lap.

Sehun had woken up from his nap and was just lying in bed now.

He was still drowsy from waking up but also he didn’t know how to process what Xiumin had told him. He didn’t like what the alphas and gammas were doing to him but rarely did he ever think they were in the wrong. Every time he said something of the like his mother would beat him for being selfish, only putting his feelings first. It was Kai who had stayed by him every day and reminded him that no matter what his mother or brother said it was wrong. He didn’t want it so it was wrong.

But he had never thought he would ever turn in the alphas that had hurt him. His mother and brother. It was a weird feeling.

He didn’t feel much for the alphas, didn’t care for his mother much. Other than selling his body out she pretended like he didn’t even exist. His brother on the other hand, he didn’t know how to feel.

There was a large part of him in conflict, his brother hadn’t done anything to stop them and he knew that was wrong, he shouldn’t care about his brother either. But sometimes after all was done he would help him clean up and ask him how he was. When Sehun cried he held him after everyone had left, he could see sadness in his eyes but he didn’t understand that, he couldn’t understand why his brother would sit by and just let that happen without saying or doing anything. That confused him the most, he choose not to dwell on it, thinking maybe that’s what his brother wanted in the first place. For Sehun to be weak and have a soft spot for him.

After a few more minutes of thinking over everything he repeated what he had said to Xiumin last night in his head. When that revelation came to him he was almost asleep, his eyes were closing and every single horrible memory he had of those alphas flashed across his mind and those words tumbled from his mouth before he could stop them. But it was true.

It was true.

Sehun knew now, he accepted it, truly accepted it. However he knew he still had a long way to go.

Slowly he sat up, like he was in a trance he dazedly got up and got changed into a large shirt that fell off one shoulder and sweatpants.

He tried listening as he was going down the steps, laughter, a lot of it. The smell of another alpha washed over him and he almost cowered, running back up the steps. He knew he could always try again later but he was tired of running away from alphas, he truly wanted to at least attempt it. He told himself if after five minutes he still felt uneasy he would leave the room, it would be fine. He could do it.

When he got down to the last step he kept his body hidden but slightly poked his head into the next room. Xiumin and Daehyun were sitting on the couch, Baekhyun on his lap. Jongup, Zelo, and Yongguk were on the floor. All six of them seemed to be playing Uno.

It seemed like his presence was still not known, that or they were ignoring his scent, or they simply thought since he lived here now it was normal. Clearing his throat he saw the shock on almost all their faces, Xiumin showing a bigger reaction, concern in his eyes.

Sehun only timidly smiled before walking over to him, completely bypassing Yongguk.

~ But tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising ~