Alrighty......I won't lie...WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS BIT DARKER THAN ANYTHING ELSE I THINK?? WELL NOT DARKER BUT IT HAS A REALLY SERIOUS TONE SINCE I WANTED TO DELVE MORE IN TO SEHUN'S CHARACTER CAUSE YA KNOW....WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM ISN'T SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN JUST BRUSH UNDER THE CARPET. 

Ahem with that said I hope you guys like this chapter ;;;;;;; the next one will be lighter I promise <3 :"

Xiumin bit his lip, he was worried the omega would feel like this although he wasn’t surprised but he just didn’t what to do.

“Sehun……if I’m being honest I’m nervous and scared too.”

He felt the omega still, then move away as he took a step back. “You are?” It came out as a whisper as he wiped away his tears, looking at his alpha with disbelief. “Why? Why are you scared?”

Xiumin answered straight away. “I’m scared of hurting you.”

The alpha could see Sehun growing confused as he played with his long sleeves. “What do you mean? Didn’t you once say you would never hurt me? O-Or…something like that.”

He knew the omega was misinterpreting him as he took a step back and quickly grabbed onto his sleeve just to hold him there.

“I did but I mean…..about something like this….with your heat. I can protect you during any other situations but this one.”

Since the omega still looked as confused as ever he continued.

“I mean I’ll protect you from external forces, anyone or anything that tries to hurt you I’ll protect you. No one will ever lay a hand on you again but this….I can’t protect you from something I don’t even know. At least in this situations I can calculate outcomes. But during your heat…..I’ve been going over it in my head and it seems like no matter what I do everything is wrong. I don’t know. That’s why I’m scared, I don’t want to hurt you unintentionally.”

Sehun finally understood as he took another step closer again, looking into his eyes.

“Is that what you’ve been thinking about?”

Xiumin nodded and he sighed. The both of them staying here in silence before the alpha broke it with his gentle voice.

“So what are we going to do?”

It took awhile for the omega to answer as he picked his sleeve, looked at his shoes, counted how many flowers were in the garden, how many different types of flowers. Doing anything in his power to not focus on that question but eventually he sighed again.

“I don’t know….I don’t know what I want you to do. It’s the same for me hyung.”

Xiumin tilted his head in confusion, not sure which part the omega was talking about.

“I mean……I’ve been thinking about it too and just….whether you try to do something or not during my heat….it really doesn’t look well. I don’t know if I want you to be there or not, I don’t know if I want you to touch me or not, I don’t even know if I want to be in this house or not.”

“Where else would you even go?”

”Kai and I have a hiding spot that only the two of us know about. That’s where I always spend my heats alone. I’m guessing now though my heat will be different since I’ve been around you.”

Xiumin nodded and sat them down in the nearby chairs.

“I suppose so, it won’t be anything too bad since I haven’t marked you but….you might feel a lot more pain since your body is now mature and we’ve scent marked each other.”

Sehun sighed and laid his down on the table, looking at Xiumin who had started rubbing his back.

It was once again silent for awhile until the omega timidly brought up a topic the alpha never thought he would.

“What did you with the gammas?”

He over his lips wondering if he really should answer, there was fear in the other’s eyes and his hand had started trembling again, presumably from thinking about them, but he could see the underlying curiosity.

“I casted out two, they said they never touched you. There’s still one more waiting for judgment but I’ll get to him tomorrow. Since…..we’re on this topic can I ask you something?” Sehun shrugged.

“I guess. Does it have something to do with the gammas?” Xiumin looked around the garden as if searching for something and cracked his neck to both sides.

“You could say that. I’ve hesitated in asking you this because I was afraid of bringing up bad memories but if I were to do this I would need your permission.”

Now the omega looked curious again as he sat up straight in his chair.

“What is it hyung?” The omega could clearly see the conflict in his eyes as his mouth opened and closed many times before he even actually asked.

“Well before you and Kai said you could remember the abusers faces. I was wondering if I could let out a public announcement for all those who abused you to turn themselves in. I’ll be speaking with your mother, brother, and Kai’s parents.”

Sehun eyes were wide at the length his alpha was willing to go to. But for what?

“H-Hyung why would you do something like that?”

“Why? Why not? Don’t you understand that isn’t fair for them to live peaceful lives anymore after what they did to you? What if they do it to others?” Xiumin was shocked, it was like Sehun didn’t even understand why they had to be caught.

“But hyung isn’t that such….a hassle? And for what……i-it’s all in the past.”

The alpha’s rage was slowly boiling but before it could truly burn he realized something in the way the omega acted. He acted so calm but scared, nervous but shy. Worried and unsure. It was like he had never even thought about getting justice on the people who did this to him. Suddenly it occurred to Xiumin that maybe he never did. What if Sehun had just thought he would have to endure all this abuse until his life wore out?

What if every time he thought about saying something he was kicked back down? There was no one he could turn to, the elders who normally helped and protected people were a part of it, his own mother had started and his brother didn’t care. His father had died. The only person Sehun had was Kai but the alpha wasn’t in a position of power, he couldn’t do anything to help Sehun. If he said something the gammas might think about making disappear and then Sehun would have no one. He truly would be all alone.

“Sehun……Sehun do you-……..repeat after me.” Xiumin wasn’t sure if this was the right way to go about it but he needed the omega to understand.

Said omega shyly looked at him, confusion still swirling in his eyes.

“You….Oh Sehun….were abused by alphas and gammas in power. You. Were. Abused.” He spoke slowly making sure to emphasize his last three words.

Sehun’s eyes widened and Xiumin realized he was right. The other had never thought about it and most definitely never said anything about it.

He was never allowed too. He was certain if he even tried the omega would get punished. He could see his hands start to shake more and heard him as he held his breath. Right now the omega looked like stone. Now Xiumin understood what Sehun was really doing, even when he said he wanted to overcome his past and move on from it he really wasn’t. He had never been given time to accept what was happening to him and he still wasn’t. Sehun knew something wasn’t right but he had never taken the time to sit down and think. To accept what had happened.

If he couldn’t accept what had happened to him he couldn’t move on, not properly. He was just running away from his memories.

“Sehun. Oh Sehun. You were abused. You have to accept that.”

A shaky breath then an even shakier voice. “I-I am….I-I-I do.”

The alpha sighed and shook his head. “No you don’t. Otherwise you would see they were wrong. Sehun I’m not interrogating these gammas for fun. I’m doing it for you. Justice for you. What they did was wrong in every type of way. You need to understand that. Think about that. I know you don’t want to and I hate being the one to tell you this but you need to think about this, think about they did and how it made you feel. Are you really okay with these people still walking around freely?”

Sehun was stiff now, like he was in an internal battle with himself but Xiumin knew he was still listening.

“Hunnie please….just think about it. You don’t want this to happen to other people do you? If they can do this to you then they can do it to anyone else. You need to accept and acknowledge what happened to you head-on. I’m so proud of you for even coming out about this but you need to accept what happened and then move on.”

“B-But….I thought I was.”

Xiumin nodded and gently pulled the omega into his lap who went willingly.

“I know you thought you were. But if you can’t accept what happened to you then how can you move on? You’re essentially just running away. Would you feel bad? If I locked them up would you feel bad? Is that what your mother has told you?”

He knew as soon as the omega slightly nodded that it was a yes.

“She fed you lies didn’t she? Those alphas are hardworking, they need somewhere to relive stress, if you didn’t whine so much you would feel better. Maybe somewhere along the lines of saying the only reason you feel bad is because you’re making yourself feel bad.”

Sehun didn’t say anything but after some time nodded his head and Xiumin heard a muffled. “Something like that.”

Xiumin held his breath trying to calm himself down before slowly letting it out. He didn’t even know how he wasn’t supposed to break everything and see red everywhere but he held himself in, for Sehun.

“It isn’t your fault. None of it is your fault. That shouldn’t have happened to you. It shouldn’t happen to anyone at all in the first place. Your feelings are justified, you have the right to feel how you feel. They were touching you without consent and forcing you to do things you didn’t want to. Sehun your feelings are valid.”

It hurt Xiumin even more when it seemed like this was the first time Sehun was ever hearing words like these, the way he held on tight and looked up at him with disbelief again like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

He wondered how Kai had never talked to him about this but he tried to rationalize that maybe the other thought Sehun was doing okay, because he had him everything was okay. He could see how Kai would think that. Just with being with Sehun for as long as he had he knew the omega wasn’t the type to be open with feelings, having a tendency to bottle up them instead.

“Hyung….” His voice was soft, Xiumin really felt like Sehun had no more strength left in him, the omega just laying on him completely.

“Yes?”

“……They were really………..it was really scary.” He choked out his last sentence and Xiumin hugged him even tighter, cradling him to his chest.

Soft sniffles could be heard again as Sehun held on to him tightly before he quietly spoke again. “C-…..Can we find them?” He still sounded scared and his body trembled.

“Yes….don’t worry, I’ll ask Kai and we’ll look for them together. You’ll only have to see them through a one-way mirror. They won’t see you even once I promise. As soon as you say that everyone who ever did those horrible things to you is there….you won’t ever see them again. I promise. I just need your permission, as….well the pack is going to find out. Are you ready for everyone to know in detail who did it? Along with the other half of our pack? I think you should still think about this and accept it……don’t give me permission until you’re ready.”

It was silent after that, the sun had started set during their conversation and now the sky was purely dark, a few stars staring to come out to brighten the night. Xiumin started wondering where Yongguk had taken Zelo and Jongup when he felt Sehun’s body go still. He started shifting gently ready to take the other inside thinking he was asleep when he whispered.

“Hyung….I was abused.”

~ These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading. Don’t look like they’re ever going away, they ain’t ever gonna change ~