She ran as fast as she could as every little minute, every little tiny second was against her. Time, what a funny thing, she thought as she couldn’t help but reminisce the last time she was here. Not only it seemed an eternity ago, it actually seemed another life ago.

6 years ago

- Oh C’mon Kim Brainy…I knew I was bad at studying but to the level to make my tutor commit suicide…I’m offended…she heard the unpleasant math student she was asked to cope with for the last six months say behind her back. – Last time I checked Han River was full of bridges too…is there a reason why you would cross the country and choose this one? He added as she rolled her eyes:

- Not only you at math I see you also have difficulties understanding your native language…what part of “do not follow me” have you missed? She spoke non-using formalities despite him threatening her to do so during every single session they went through. He laughed. He felt relieved. At least she sounded like her usual self, meaning haughty and sarcastic in her high school uniform.  At least she didn’t want to kill herself, now he was sure about it.

- Exactly right? I mean why on earth would I follow my math tutor and try to convince her that her life is worth to live when her main life occupation is to make mine a hell…he explained as she let a small laugh.

- Oh…you laughed…so you still believe in life…he asked as she frowned…not that I’m disappointed…I mean don’t get me wrong I realize now the importance of my grades since I’ll have to prepare for college entrance in two years I absolutely need my tutor and-

- Mino shut the hell up you’re giving me a headache…she said as he widened his eyes for few seconds before he burst into a laugh to what she followed.

- I…I’m sorry…he then simply said referring to the moment of privacy he had accidently witnessed between her and her mother who had tried once again to reach her by coming straight to the school. It was her birthday. He heard a conversation he shouldn’t have. He tried to escape it but his body acted against him. He felt like it was his right to be there, to listen to her cry her pain and sadness. It was his right to understand her, to feel her. Worst, he felt like it was his responsibility to take care of her. He finally had acknowledged it. He finally had decided to not repress that overwhelming feeling that has been submerging him for weeks. He decided to live with it; he even thought he could be happy living with it. Thus he found himself following her from hours as she ran away from school right after lunch. He thought of manifesting himself but a part of him wanted to remain silent as she took a bus, went to the train station, took a ticket for Busan, then a cab to the Gwangandaegyo Bridge.

- Why would you be sorry? She spoke with that nerdy frown of her to what he smirked. – You absolutely have no correlation whatsoever to my mother and I complicated relationship. She explained.

- Brainy…because that’s what people say when they care for each other, that’s what they say to comfort each other, there isn’t logic everywhere it is time you get that…he spoke getting closer and leaning as well on the wall to admire the sea view as the sun was going down. They stood silent for few minutes before she added:

- So…she cleared …you…you care about me? She innocently asked to what he let a small laugh:

- Like you didn’t know…he said still looking at the view. He thought she was joking. Except that she wasn’t: - oh please you can’t be serious…you didn’t??? He said this time looking at her. As she had that eternal poker face.

- Was I supposed to? She seriously asked as he couldn’t look at her anymore and hid his face in the palm of his hands whining not sure if he was supposed to laugh or cry.

- God…Kim Hana…how could you be that clueless… I told you for god’s sake…

- You…told me what? She asked indeed clueless with rounded eyes. He wanted to hug her, to hit her, to kiss her, to pull her hair…he wasn’t sure. She was a source of mix of feelings he wasn’t sure were compatible. Love & hatred.

- That I liked you! He shouted in despair. She widened her eyes. Then frowned again.

- Oh please no don’t tell me you don’t remember or you haven’t heard or-

- I do remember…she interrupted. It was right after I suggested we should start algorithm since we were done with factorization…I do believe you were willing to say anything to get rid of it…she spoke again logically. As he tried to object but couldn’t:

- Ok…I’ll give you that one what about the other time…it wasn’t during class, I treated you ramen and told you that I liked you…

- …Huh yes that was because you got a B for the first time in your life…you wanted to celebrate…I believe your were being overemotional…she spoke again as he was going trough a mental breakdown. – Are you ok?

- Not really you kind of giving me a hard time here…

- I didn’t mean to…she spoke slightly concerned as he scoffed:

- Oh I’m sure you didn’t which makes it even more hard…I can’t blame you…since you’re most clueless person I’ve ever seen in my life but that’s ok now…now I get it…I need to be more explicit…he spoke the last sentence to himself before putting his high school bag on the floor taking a deep breath and before she could realize it he was kneeling right in front of her as she took a step back horrified.

- What the hell, st-

- KIM HANA, I officially, solemnly declare in front of…well…you…these two seagulls over there…and also the dozens per seconds cars passing by that probably thinks that I’m a snot looser-

- They’re not the only ones to think that, I’m begging you stand-

- I LIKE YOU…will you be my girlfriend…

- What ? oh my god-

- Will you be my girlfriend? Will you date me…WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND KIM HANA…he spoke as some cars started to honk at his public declaration amused by the two high-schoolers romance. This was the most embarrassing moment of his life but weirdly the happiest.

- Mino please stand u-

- I’m not standing up until you give me an answer to my very clear question…

- Ok…ok please stand up now…. He instantly stood back on his feed…

- You said “ok”…you did say “ok”…

- Ok…I’ll think about it…she rectified as he was about to kneel again: wait…wait…ok…I…I accept to go on a date with you…I mean…I never had a boyfriend-

- Yeah I kind of figured that already…he pointed out as she rolled her eyes.

- I guess it would an interesting social experience wouldn’t it be?

- Huh…if you say so…

- But…

- Oh there is a ‘but’…

- There is a ‘but’…I can’t have a boyfriend with such low math grades, it’s against my morals…she spoke as he widened his eyes, frowned, then burst into a big laugh. He then by a hidden source of strength walked the few steps that were separating him from her then took her glasses off as he’s done several times now. This time she oddly didn’t complain about it. He then took her hand. He sighed and said almost in a whisper: - so we’re official…

- I guess we are…she spoke fearing what was about to happen. He then slowly lean towards her as she felt paralyzed but felt relieved as he passed by her lips her ear and leaned his head on her shoulder enlacing her body with his two arms as it was the most natural thing to do. It felt natural. Without realizing it she slightly sighed in relieve, leaning also her hand and putting her arms on his back. She felt it, the sadness he knew she was going trough, she also felt the fact that he was now willing to share it. She felt happy, closed her eyes as he pulled back now looking at her.

- Ok…she cleared . – Enough skinship for today…she spoke pushing him away as he laughed went to his bag and opened it to bring a black felt-tip marker as he started to write down some thing on the bridge wall.

- What the hell are you doing? She asked as he kept on scribbling while blocking her body. “JI-Min-ho + Kim Ha-na march 5^{th,  2007} first day of dating”

- Oh my god are you dumb, is this even legal…

- Kim hana…I…he cleared his throat and took a deep breath as she frowned at his sudden serious look. He looked at their hands entangled and felt confident enough to carry on: - I…I don’t know exactly what life has in stock for the both of us but I promise you that I’ll do everything to be by your side and to hold your hand when you’re the saddest…and…and if for some reason one day I won’t be able to…if you come back here to vent out your pain…do it right in front of this inscription…he spoke as she could finally read the rest of it: “Hana-ya…I’m here” …- From now on I hope to be a shelter for you as much as this bridge is…he finished as she felt a hot tear roll down on her cheek…

- What the hell…she spoke for herself looking the opposite way before he could grab her and as he loved to do:

- Wait a second is Kim Brainy…the heartless Kim Brainy crying…

- No I’m not…

- Yes you are…

- No I- before she could finish he had hugged her again to what she didn’t want to object. – Thank you…she simply added to what he gently tapped her hair.

- Ok let’s go now, your bf will treat you some food, there’s still some hours left to celebrate your birthday…

- Wait a second…she spoke stealing the pen he used to add something else: - now it’s perfect…she spoke as he looked to her part: Mino-ya…I am also here… - from now on this become your shelter too…she explained as he felt thankful as never felt in his life.

- Thank you Yeo-chin[1]…if I ever disappear one day I’ll come right here…

- Well noted Nam-chin[2], now buy me some ramen…Busan have the best Jjampong[3] of the whole country…

- God you... and your ramen obsession…

                                                                  (…)

- God why does this bridge have to be that long…I spoke tapping my foot nervously. Oddly I hadn’t reacted yet at what he told me earlier. I went trough shock that is for sure. But somehow a part of subconscious refused to acknowledge it, to accept it protecting my whole body to be swept off by my feelings. Like a strong part of me wanted simply to survive, wanted him to survive.

- Calm down Ki-wong is driving from the opposite way plus your friend is already walking towards where he should be…the situation is under control…

- Yes exactly why did the vampire left her look for him by herself, it doesn’t make any sense…

- Well she didn’t really give him a choice, how was he suppose to tag along: “oh I think your ex boyfriend might be trying to kill himself I should go with you”…he spoke as I frowned at him.

- No…Of course not!

- So calm down for god sake your stress is contagious…

- Whatever…

- Ok we should leave the car here and walk…he suggested and we soon found ourselves walking or actually running I wasn’t sure, in the walking side of the bridge. Thousands memories were running trough my head, what if he was right. What if Minho had came to kill himself. Just the though of it was sending thousand chills over my whole body, it was hard to believe it, to visualize it, to think of it.  He’s always been that lively boy. He cultivated that bad boy image only because he thought it suited him well, and because that was what people expected from him given to his status of the richest boy of the school. The truth is that he was the kindest. He grew up receiving much love from his parents, brother; he had loyal and true friends. His life wasn’t lacking of anything, in fact he probably was the most balanced out of us. We all had odd personalities mostly given from our family backgrounds, family trauma, family scars.  We were trying more or less to deal with but him. I envied that. That perfect, flawless family he had. He never had to suffer any lack of affection, any heartbreak, not until he met her I realized. He was generous, probably the most generous out of us. He didn’t trust everyone due to his social status and had learned to protect himself, to discern easily people who approached him with an ulterior motive. But once he let you in, once he had decided that you were one of his people, he literally gave you his all. I knew it. I witnessed it. It all started on a sunny Friday afternoon during math class as Hana was having hard time explaining her absence two days ago. I also found myself being curious about it. After several years of being her classmate never I remembered her missing any single class, even while being sick, with a twisted ankle or broken arm. She had never ever missed a class. Yet two days ago she had oddly disappeared after lunch break. I wasn’t really close to her at that time but it wasn’t hard to notice Kim Hana’s absence. Especially during math class. We all were forced to participate that day when we usually absolutely didn’t have to. I was trying to understand why the teacher was particularly mad about it. We all were absent at one point but the math teacher reacted as Hana in particular didn’t have the right to. Was it because she was the class representative? Was she disappointed, as Hana was known to be the most exemplar student of the school? What was it exactly? I wasn’t sure. I lost my thoughts looking at the window as usually when boredom filled me when he suddenly appeared in his hoobae’s class creating a fuss among the noisy girls. The school itself was mixed but not the classes. I saw Sue who was sitting in front of me slowly removing her earphones. She knew it also that something interesting was about to happen. I knew it too as I had suspected it for a long time already. Due to my relationship with Hyukkie I had an echo of his hatred towards his recently appointed math teacher. How she drove him crazy, slowly in all senses we noticed even if he refused to admit it. Oddly I had heard from Hyukkie also that he was absent during the whole afternoon two days ago missing an important basket ball game. I somehow felt it had to do with her. Seeing him standing in our class as she was trying to defend herself made suddenly my left doubts fade away. The pregnant and emotional teacher’s mood suddenly lighten up seeing his golden face. Was it her pregnancy, or him? I wasn’t sure. He bowed to her expressing both salutation and apology for interrupting her class. The teacher all giggling immediately approved and asked for his visit’s motive. “If you should punish someone it should be me professor Kim…it’s my entire fault Hana missed class two days ago” I remembered him saying picking the interest of the whole class including her as she frowned at him. When asked about the reason he simply explained that they started dating recently and that he wanted to celebrate her first birthday as his girlfriend with a surprise event. He sent a whole panic crisis among the girls screaming in shock, pain or jealousy, sometimes both. I crooked a smile. He was a good liar. If it weren’t for Hana’s eyeballs ready to pop out I would’ve believed it too. The teacher soon expressed her doubts suspecting him to cover up for her when no else that Sunny stepped in to confirm the recent relationship even mentioning a double date her and her boyfriend had with them yesterday sending another wave of shouts in the class. This one however turned out to be true. Later one when we all became this high school family we had created I remember us dissing him a lot about it. On the fact that he took her on double date only after 24hours of dating. He used to defend himself on stating that they’ve known each other for a long time already trough the tutoring but we deep inside just knew that he was eager of introducing her to the entire world as his girlfriend. Putting her sometimes and to his regret in messy situations. He couldn’t be there all the time to protect her but that’s also how we were born. He was so gentle to Sue and me all the time. I would just need to mention if he could help something that he would do his impossible to make sure we didn’t need anything else. That’s how much thankful he was towards us. He didn’t count, he gave her anything he just poured her with all the love he’s received, all the love he had saved until he met her. Until she became his everything. Until she broke his everything. Now I was sure of it. I was sure that she was the one who broke up with him.

- ! I heard him dragging me from my thoughts and before I could realize it he had stopped on his track, made me stop on his track and was hugging me from behind as I found myself facing the sea view. What the hell just happened?

- What the hell is-

- I…saw them…I think I saw them…

- Them?

- Your friend found him first…

(…)

- You found me…he spoke calmly looking at the view in front of their hidden spot as he felt her presence behind him. She had run to him. He crooked a smile at the thought of it.

- Just in case you don’t remember this was my shelter way before it I decided to share it with you…she spoke after finding back her breath. She was completely out of it.

- I knew you would find me. He stated.

- I knew you knew that I would find you…she stated as well as he locked his eyes with her before letting a small laugh whilst his eyes were glistering. She crooked a smile, relieved for some reason she wasn’t sure why  and walked the few last steps towards him admiring as well the view. She took a deep breath and they stood silent for a moment before rescue boats on the river drew their attention. She bit her lips. She knew the vampire was up to something while driving but brushed it away. If only he had consulted her…She didn’t dare to say until he broke the awkward silent.

- Are my brother's friends here? He guessed as she simply nodded. - God these ahjussis can get too overdramatic...You…you know that I would never try to… to harm myself in any kind of way especially here-

- I know…I know Mino…she spoke cutting his words. - It’s a whole misunderstanding I wasn’t aware of, I’m sorry about it. She finished almost in a whisper as they muted in another silent.

- I…I’m sorry about what I said earlier…I was mad and hurt…I didn’t almost died to you…

- I know…she again said in a whisper as slight pain invaded her chest.

- Hana…I never meant to try to kill myself back then…I just wanted to get your attention, when I snapped back it was already too late…he explained as she felt a tear escaping from her eye. – I thought that if you’d hear that something would’ve happened to me you would run to me and we would go back to where we left…

- I know…she added as her voice was barely holding it together. He's right she would've. If only she had heard about it. 

- You know everything…he managed to joke to what she responded by a small laugh as another tear rolled down her cheek. Yes she knew everything, especially when it came to him. She might have been the clueless person she's always been when trying to analyze human behaviors but it was different with him. Was it her learning, or him teaching she couldn’t tell, but the result was that she knew him by heart, every single look, say, tone, gesture and what it would translate. She knew he never meant to hurt himself, but the fact only that he thought of it to get her back...How desperate must have he been to think this way? She couldn’t imagine it. She refused to think of it.

- I’m Kim Brainy…remember? She tried to joke back to what he frown before laughing.

- God your sense of humor was already bad but I see time isn’t helping…

- Shut up…she defended rolling her eyes as they both laughed again. It felt strange that light laughs, that light mood and how it was contrasting with their heavy hearts.

- What…how…. when…why did it went wrong between us…no matter how much I try to think of it…I…I never got it… he broke again the silent this time his voice betraying his emotions. He knew it, that this would be the last moment she would remain as his as she’s been in another life. He’d rather be honest. He's rather spoke his mind and soul. He won't have the chance to do it again. 

- I…I don’t really know…she honestly replied as she realized that the end was coming soon. – All I know is that loving you… growing up to be loved by you…that…that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had the chance to experience…I…I don’t regret anything…she explained as he bit his shivering lips looking down to his feet and nodding his head acknowledging what she said and trying to keep himself together. These simple words made him the happiest man in the world yet the saddest in the same real time. They both were letting each other go.

- I know…he simply said but meaning in reality "so do I". 

- You’re my first love…I…I’ll always love you…she added as this time his tears rolled down and as he couldn’t hold it anymore he walked the few steps that were separating them and hold her in his embrace as he did for the first time in that same place few years ago. They both sobbed hard in each other’s arms letting all these kept feelings finally go. That was the thing with love and hatred. The more you tried to ignore it, the more you tried to avoid it, the more you tried to suppress it the more it grows within our body making us the happiest, the saddest, the strongest, the weakest sometimes all of it in the same time. That’s what they came to realize that evening at the bridge of Gwangan. That life, despite our feelings might have it differently; it is no need to fight it. On the other hand while accepting that everything can’t go the way we thought it would, or the we wanted it to be, is a way of growing up. Also that same evening another inscription was added:

16/03/2014: Min-Ha…the end…Thank you…Sorry…Love you