- Annyeonghaseyo Mr. Ju, Mrs. Ju…I bowed perfectly before stealing a glance at my grandmother that had a victorious grin since the moment I had appeared. I then looked at the only person I haven’t saluted. - Oppa…I addressed him slightly bowing my head to what he responded by an even smaller gesture still having that stare that I couldn’t get.  - What a pleasure to have you tonight… I added out of politeness towards the elders before standing behind my grandfather that while looking at them and adding few formalities grabbed my hand and squeezed it. That was our thing. Ever since I was little he used to squeeze my hand whenever I was scared, sick or sad. He called it the “Soun power”.

- You look absolutely stunning my dear…

- Thank you Mrs. Ju…

- Omeoni… you should call me Omeoni…I looked at her then at my grandmother that gave me her approbation, as it was what I was looking for. Explanation is what I needed surely not her go-ahead.

 - Neh…Omeoni…

All of us then slowly proceeded towards the living room where drinks were going to be given. Both older men entered first followed by my grandmother and Mrs. Ju while of course I had to lead her son that haven’t said anything yet. Among several types of starters that were proposed to all and declined by both of us, I was desperately looking for the drinks that finally made they way to us. Champagne? Are we celebrating something? No…no…please don’t answer this question…I actually don’t want to know…

- Ajumma… Don’t you have something stronger? Scotch?

- Yah- the woman who practically raised me shouted before clearing remembering the important guest standing close to me. – Agassi… take the champagne…I’m afraid scotch is out of option…she added between her teeth. That woman could be very scary. I took the glass so did he and I could see the laugh he was failing to restrain. I rolled my eyes. I just didn’t know what to say, or to think and what he was about to say did not help at all.

- You… he finally started before clearing his throat, you look very good… he said not looking at me, my mind couldn’t really process the vision in front of me but he seemed to be kind of embarrassed.

- Wha…Ex… Excuses me? I looked at him in awe. He then frowned at me for a few seconds making me even more confused before letting a small laugh and finally facing me. – What…what’s going on, what am I doing here? He then asked me genuinely. I stood there dumfounded.

- I…I don’t know… you tell me?! What are you doing here?

- How am I supposed to know…He said with a soothing tone that I didn’t recognized, the guy literally lost his mind during a regular Sogeting. How could he be so calm now that himself and his parents made it to my place? It didn’t make any sense. - I mean…this is not a part of the Sogeting thing right? He genuinely asked. Dear Lord. Does he suffer of some kind of stupignorance syndrome? - Your grandmother doesn’t joke when it comes to mental torture…you were not kidding, god I knew she was a freak but… Wouaouh…

What is he talking about?

- Because you think this is still a part of her revenge?

- You think it’s not? He instantly answered switching his expression holding that cold and heartless look he usually wears frightening me along. There was something about him. It’s like there were two souls within his body. He bore his eyes to me waiting for my answer and I tried to get over that scary anger living in him and constantly threatening to come out.

- I … I don’t know, maybe…I…I’m not sure to be honest…I said looking down to my feet. He suddenly got closer and faced me completely so I could not avoid his look. I slowly raised my head. That fire look was back in his eyes and in a glimpse it disappeared completely as he slightly scoffed with a little laugh looking at his side before looking at me again.

- What makes you so confused? He started calmer. I needed to sit. I went to the closest armchair I found and sat on its corner. The dinner, my parents? It’s not like I’ve never came to your place…he added casually sitting on the same armchair and crossing his legs making us look like these ridiculous couples in American soap television shows. I almost thought of standing up but I was tired and it was my place.

- What? What do you mean? You came here before? I frowned at him. No wonder he was feeling confortable in my space.

- Are you kidding me? The entire city came to your place; did you forget that your grandmother was the mundane queen?

- Oh really? Last time I checked she was the “sly fox queen” so you-

- What the fu- hahahaha oh you’re so funny he suddenly talked super loud tapping my arms, as we were old friends looking towards the elders who were giving us funny looks and making me loose balance.

- Ouch…

- Are you crazy? Don’t do that… ok? She’s like centimeters away…

- You’re really scared of her aren’t you? I asked slightly not to say very amused by his behavior after I’ve regained my composure.

- No I’m not…

- Yes you are…

 -No I AM NOT…

- Yes you-

 - Mister and Mrs. Lee, your last guest has arrived announced the butler making both of us stop our silly game.

- Perfect, please let him in.

 - See I told you… this is nothing but one of your grandmother society life demonstrations to show how perfect and amazing she is… he ended ironically and standing in front of me while I was still sitting when I saw the presumed last guest appear behind his back. I shivered. – There’s absolutely nothing you should worry- he stopped probably because of the horrified expression I had as I slowly stood up in order to show respect to the old man that had made his entrance. Last time I saw him was at Sue’s grandfather’s funeral. I was 13years old. The only reason he showed up was because of the rare complicity he shared with his all time rival, Hyundai’s founder. He never does any public appearance; he’s just too way above it, he’s too powerful and simply out of reach.

- Grandfather… I heard him say dramatically and it’s quite safe to say that I could hear from his voice that there was nothing close to a family bond in his voice. I could see everyone paying their salutations to the old king and slowly drifting their attentions to me, as I seemed to be the highlight. I slowly approached him too scared that my legs would give up on me. There was something about this man. Since ever I was child, in the very few times that I’ve perceived him I remember a feeling of fear and disgust. He scared me, frightened me, and here I was going to be for the first time officially introduced to him. I put my hand on my chess as my dress was sleeveless and knowing too much that lowering only head wouldn’t be enough, my bow had to be downer than usual.

- Annyeonghaseyo Ju Sajanim, it’s a pleasure to meet you… I said my head down as I was doing a quarter bow. I then looked back at him so he could acknowledge and almost threw up as he was giving me that dirty look he’s so known for. I’m glad my grandfather didn’t notice it. He hated him already, which made this whole situation even more complicated to understand. How could he let that man into our house? I felt Ji-hoon Oppa getting suddenly closer almost hiding my body and I wondered if he did it on purpose. He hadn’t saluted him yet.

- Halbeoji… he said bowing slightly lower than I did which made me look impolite and I wonder again if he had made it on purpose but brushed it right away when he looked up. His face was dark, and extremely tensed or angry by the way he was gritting his teeth. His eyes were shooting fire.

- Nice to meet you too Miss Lee… he answered looking at me and I shivered as I realized he totally ignored his grandson. - I was expecting too see a little girl when I decided to meet you in person but it’s a real woman that I have in front of me. I am surely not disappointed. I slightly lower my head. I wanted to run away. As weird as it might sound the fact that he didn’t budge and stood there by my side made it a bit more bearable. - From now on, I’d hope to see you more often and get to know more about you. He simply stated and to what I lowered my head again. My brain was desperately trying to analyze what he’d said but it was too late. This had gone too far.  

- Now that the introductions have been done, shall we proceed to the dining room? Asked rhetorically my grandmother to what Ji-hoon seemed to have a word on.

 - If it’s ok with you Mrs. Lee, this lovely lady and I will join you later… he said grabbing my hand as I seemed to be the lovely lady and without really paying attention to her response he left towards the main entrance before taking the hidden corridor towards my grandfather office where a door could take you to the main garden. The guy surely did come a lot of times to my place. I tried several times to free myself but he seemed to be determined to not let go almost hurting me. I couldn’t see his face but no need to, I could feel that scary anger that seemed to haunt him all the time coming out. He finally released me almost making me fly so I could face him. I look at my wrist it was reddened with white spots left by his fingers that had squeezed so hard that my blood couldn’t reach some of my veins. I slowly raised my head with the same pace that my resentment was taking to raise within my body.

 - You hurt me… I greeted my teeth out of anger.

- I hate to repeat myself twice but I’m going to give you another chance. What the hell am I doing here? He asked me with the same tone.

- Well that’s something we have in common I guess, as I said before I DON’T KNOW… I said emphasizing each word. We stared at each other before for ten long seconds before I broke scoffing at my side. - I don’t understand, you said it yourself. It’s just a dinner, a gathering a social mundane…why this sudden change of mind? I provoked him and cursed myself right after knowing too much that I was simply burying my head in the sand.

- ARE YOU ING STUPID? He genuinely yelled at me making me almost jump before putting his fist in front of his mouth and looking around. Not that he cared if someone had heard him or if he actually thought that I didn’t deserved to be yelled at, no he only wanted to preserve himself. Preserve himself from that monster that was threatening him to come out. He tried to gain his calm back. – Let me ask you differently… when is the last time you saw that old dog attending a “social mundane”? I stood there thinking not about the answer as I had earlier the opportunity to ask myself the same question, no, I couldn’t help but think about the hatred that was implying his words, voice, his look and the general aversion his face was expressing. I could see that him and I had the same dislike towards his grandfather. His was simply worst.

- What…what are you trying to say exactly? I asked with a hint of resignation. I knew I couldn’t keep on fighting for any longer, I actually can’t believe I managed to fool myself that long. He scoffed at his side, paced for a few seconds before facing me again.

- I trusted you…he started pointing his finger at me.  I really believed all that about your grandmother trying to get at you, the Sogeting, the weird meeting with all the ed up assumptions, my mother always bragging about you, my father avoiding me because he just don’t know how to lie, the old dog transferring a percentage of his stocks when he barely addresses me… I kept on denying all of it as a fool because you assured me that this, all of this meant nothing… I should’ve never listened to you…this has already gone to far…but it’s fine… you won’t fool me twice…I’ll take care of this mess…he said taking out his phone and dialing a number. I was in shock. I was trying to think but a thousand thoughts came to my head at the same time and I was too drained to sort them. His grandfather transferred him a part of his stock? I needed to sit. – I have a big fat problem, I heard him say as soon as his friend picked up. - Where are you? (- Office, what’s going on?) You have to come and pick me in 1hour and half… I’ll text you the address, (ok what kind of problems are we talking about, I need to be prepared. A threatening to release a tape?) Even worst, my parents trying to get me married with Am- I snatched his phone before he could finish. I couldn’t say that I was back to my senses but still a part of me wanting to survive that upcoming disaster managed to take a hold of me.

- What the are you doing? I told him after I made sure I had hung up on the vampire.

- I already told you to watch your language you little brat, I’m already mad at you don’t tempt me to slap you in the face…

- Who’s gonna slap whom? You wasted dog, just in case it might have not crossed your tiny brain I’m not eight anymore. Don’t you ever threaten me like that! He looked at me for five long seconds before bursting out of laugh whilst his eyes were filled with nothing but rage.

- So you are truly stupid aren’t you? Threat? Am I the threat here? Don’t you see that the threat is dining in your living room planning our lives for the next 50 years? How long shall I repeat myself? How long are you planning on fooling yourself and myself along? I started to feel dizzy. I wanted him to stop but he didn’t. He kept on mentioning what the voice I tried so hard to restrain during these past days was saying, he kept on stating each fact that occurred lately and putting it as an evidence towards the undeniable truth. A truth he was dangerously coming at. I shook my head from left to right so his words wouldn’t have time to reach my brain, I started to loose my breath that was shorten by a terrible pain that was invading my chest. I turned so I won’t face him anymore and put a hand in my chest where my heart was crazily beating and tried to stop whatever was going on. His voice seemed to be a murmur as I started shaking and having both cold and hot flashes invading my body one by one.  Suddenly everything that surrounded me seemed areal. Including him. Everything, except my heart loudly pounding to the point that I could feel it in my throat making me suffocating. I was dying. I felt like a feather slowly falling to the ground.

 -Yah…  yah… YAH YAH YAH, what the hell is wrong with you? I could hear him say catching me before I had completely fallen taking away the release I was about to find. …he yelled carrying me to the swing in our garden, which was the closest thing to a seat. I was literally dying and instead of taking me to the hospital or simply calling for help, he was taking me to the swing? You’re not dying ok? I could hear him say. If I survive this pain in my chest depriving me from air I promise I’m going to ask him if he reads people minds. You’re hyperventilating, you’re having a panic attack but you’re not dying… ok? Nothing is wrong with your heart. It’s fear that’s impeaching to breath. You have to accept that fear. Acknowledge it. Don’t fight it. I looked at him oddly but then I realized he was the only option I had to survive and as much as I hated to admit it. He seemed to know what he was talking about.

I am not dying

I am not dying

I am not dying

 - I know what you’re feeling is scary but it’s not dangerous… you can get through this…

I’m just scared

I’m just scared

I’m just scared

 - See… good job, you’re doing good… he noticed as I stopped shaking, my body was going back to its normal temperature. My arms were slightly more relaxed but the pain in my chest was still there and my breaths shorten. He slowly stood as he was squatting in front of me and sat on the second swing turning mine so I could face him. Now you need to focus on your breath so you can get it back to normal, don’t focus on the pain but on your breath. The pain comes from your breath; if you get it back to normal the pain will disappear…ok? I couldn’t speak as my breath was handicapping me but I manage to do a small nod in sign of agreement. Once I start counting, you have to raise one hand and then the other ok? I know it’s tiring for you now but it’s gonna help I promise… One… I tried to raise my left hand but my arm seemed to be as heavy as a truck. He took my hand so I could raise it. Two, he did the same with my right hand, three, four, five, six, seven, eight… his voice was resonating in my head and I found myself whispering with him, even better my breaths slowly matched the rhythm of my arms and his counting. As he promised the pain slowly disappeared. I felt like I was going back to my normal breathing more important I had taken control over it. He didn’t add anything. He let me keep on whispering the numbers as he indicated me until I was completely normal. I stood silent. So he did. I wasn’t facing him anymore but he still held my hand. I snapped back at this thought and tried automatically to free it, something he didn’t seem to agree on.  I gave him a deadly look, as I still didn’t have energy to speak. Don’t look at me like that, you haven’t completely recovered… he answered me taking this chance to check my pulse. I let him do. I just didn’t have any energy to fight. Does…does this happen to you often? I looked at him. He seemed to be hesitating. I shook my head. Did I really have to answer that?

 - Not really…that…that was the third time only…

- When did it started? He asked again with the same hesitating voice curious to see until where I would accept to answer his questions.

- When... I cleared my voice. When my mom died… The second time was when I surprised my dad with a woman more than 10 years younger than him only one year after my mom died. I told him caught in the moment. 

- I’m sorry. He simply said. We stayed silent until my curiosity was out of control.

- And you? Do you have that problem too…the…

- Panic attacks? No, no I don’t… Ki wong does, we all had to learn to deal with it when we were something like 16. We almost lost him back then. We were at Chang-wook’s summerhouse.

- Jeju?

 -Yes…

- Mino…I added as I read interrogation in his eyes. He nodded.

- We were riding Jet Ski when it suddenly caught him. I just had no idea of what was going on, I thought he was playing a prank so I left him behind me drowning, if Chang wook hadn’t been there to save him I would’ve been the one who had killed him. I never forgave myself. After that I learned everything I could about panic attacks, hyperventilation, agoraphobia…he explained with a hint of sorrow he was failing to hide. Why did I ask this question again? I felt like slapping myself right there. How could he manage to be the cause of such distinct and opposite strong feelings in such a short period of time? I hated when he did that. I’m sorry I got out of control earlier; unfortunately it happens to me when I’m mad but it was no excuses to vent it out on you…I nodded in sign of apology accepted. - But just to make sure we’re on the same page even though the fact that you had a panic attack just by the thought of it is more than an effective answer there’s still something I really need to ask you …He paused for a moment to make sure he had all my attention and I frowned as this moment seemed to be an eternity.

- Yes? I ended up asking.

- Do you want to marry me?

- Excuse me? What the is wrong with him, this time a panic attack won’t do, it’ll be my heart or nothing.

- Do you want to be my wife? I looked at him in awe again before realizing how serious as hell he was. I took a deep breath.

- No. No Oppa I don’t want to marry you, I don’t want be your wife.

- Ok…he said relieved. Good, good now I am sure we’re on the same page… he said and I could see his genuine relief, something that kind of pissed me.

- Because you thought I did??? God what’s wrong with you??? I almost yelled trying to release my hand again something he didn’t agreed on, again…

- Calm down… he said slightly amused, it’s just that you kept on denying it until the end and well just to remind you and in case you haven’t noticed the entire country’s female population not to say the continent wouldn’t think twice if they were asked to marry me…he factually stated not even sounding as a bragger. Now I was impressed.

- Well in case you haven’t noticed either, I’m far like very very far to be one of them; I kept on denying it until the end because it didn’t make any sense to me! I responded before pausing a moment. And to be honest it still doesn’t make any sense to me… I confessed which I felt made him slightly annoyed. He took a breath.

- So you still think all of this is a kind of prank? That our families are not trying to set us up?

 - I’m just saying that something is off…

- Ok but what is off? And after all who cares what’s off or not what’s important is what to do now… how to get rid of it…

 - Yes but to get a rid of it you need to know, to understand what you’re dealing with.

- Ok so you tell me…

- First heir don’t do first heir…

- What?

- That’s a rule. You’re a first heir, and not any of them… and I’m first heir too… both of our partners must be shareholders or practicing a liberal profession… an attorney, lawyer, doctor… that’s why Lee Soohyuk has always been the first choice for me… I added the last sentence for me. So is Minji eonni for you. She’s 4 years younger than you, a shareholder in the Shilla and your best friend sister… how come you guys haven’t been engaged yet? Since I remember she always seemed to be the one promised to you…

- I’m not marrying Minji, even Jin hyuk is more fun than her that tells you about the person… I couldn’t help but laugh at this comment. He wasn’t lying, Minji eonni has always been the coldest person on earth, “The ice queen” that’s how everyone called her. I’ve personally always admired her, she just never paid attention to the criticism old Ajummas gave her for not being mundane enough and rude because conversing with her consisted of saying Hi then Goodbye. She only paid attention to her work, her passion and she was very good at it. Probably the best lawyer of her generation. She had an amazing strong ethic of works and never hesitated to defend oppressed instead of the ruthless and powerful people sometimes her father was doing business with. Exactly why she would be perfect as a Samsung daughter in law, her image suited perfectly their communication strategy of the last 10 years, the "people’s conglomerate", a concep that had always made me laugh.

- You speak as you had a choice…

- You’re right I don’t… but seriously I’m not marrying her. - Both families had to cancel that old promise 2 years ago. He added more seriously and by the way he finished his sentence it meant that I couldn’t ask why. I nodded.

- Ok but still, if you were to marry someone in my generation it would be Subin, she’s the perfect profile. Main shareholder, college graduated, artist, that’s the type of daughter-in law your parents need. I don’t have any older brother / sister that will take over the company I’m the only option.

- This is not an argument. You said it yourself both your grandfather and father are young; you might never have to take over the company maybe one of our children will!

- Ok Oppa if I haven’t completely recovered from the panic attack why do you keep on attempting to shock me by your crazy thoughts?

- Sorry…I’m trying to get you understand the gravity of the situation and how your arguments are not plausible

- What I am trying to get you understand is that if we… I put a hand in my forehead…if we do have children together their name will never be associated to Amore Pacific but only to SAMSUNG, marrying you is killing my family line. Second, my father won’t get over the company, that was right. The board can’t stand him, as he cared even if they did approve him he just won’t come back. He’s got a problem with me. Now it was my turn to make it sound as there was no need to dig further. Last thing I needed was to speak my father issues with him.

- I see. He stood silent thinking for another moment. Then don’t you think that it is exactly the reason why this alliance would be perfect? Your grandfather position and company are stabilized for the next 15 years, by that time our children will be in boarding school on the other side of the world and we know that people our kind do not raise their children by themselves anyway…you won’t have any problem getting your grand seat as long as giving me filiation, a son ideally would be done… nobody will care about you or what you do, you could be dead it won’t make a difference to my family you know it…

- You got a point. But you’re thinking long terms, let’s see it in short terms, the second I marry you, the second my grandfather has you as a great son in law he becomes a pawn in his own empire. And that for the next 15 years. He’s too proud for that. His people, his employee’s trust is the most important thing in the world, he’d rather die than having a conglomerate monster such as yours destroy the trust and respect he’s maintained so far…

- So what is it?

- I don’t know, that’s what I need to find out… maybe there’s something I’ve missed while checking annual accounts or the balance sheet assets, maybe the company is not doing as good as I thought, maybe someone is threatening him…I just don’t know, that’s what I need to find out…and the less people know the better it would be to get the information, you can’t tell anyone including your friends…give me just two days and I’ll find out the real deal is about. Once we find it, we make a better offer and impose our conditions the first one being no marriage!

- Ok what do you want me to do?

-  Your mother.

- My mom?

- She’s the one behind all of this I’m stupid I haven’t noticed it before only focusing on my grandmother being the main character but I was wrong. Clearly it’s your mother who’s got something on my grandmother and I’d kill to know what…