After handing out the drinks on set and being there for two hours, I sit in the van with Manager Lee. I’m satisfied after chatting to the directors and staff that are working with Kyungho, I got to take a picture with some people too but heading home I check my phone just to be reminded that it is my birthday today, Jonghyun has been texting me. “Did you know,” I start to tell Manager Lee driving, “that this is the first time I have not been with my members on my birthday?” “There’s no surprise party being prepared then?” Manager Lee chuckles and I smile at the memories. They surprised me last year, I think. “No,” I shake my head, “Everyone’s working and tomorrow Emelia has her photo shoot, so nothing is being prepared.” I have already thought of it. The ladies love to celebrate birthdays, to surprise each other and for that I have thought that since I haven’t seen anyone of them all day or yesterday, no “happy birthday, baby!” anywhere, they could be preparing a surprise, but they are working so nothing is being prepared. I know it, though I wish they could at least give me a call and say “happy birthday”. “You can’t really know with those ladies though,” Manager Lee chuckles and makes a turn. “Are we getting food or not, have I gotten an answer on that?” “Do you want to eat a hamburger?” I ask him, looking at my manager looking at the road. “I want a hamburger.” “Are you going to the gym tomorrow?” I grimace at the question. I can have a hamburger if I go to the gym tomorrow. “If you will go with me,” I answer with a smile. Manager Lee smiles at my answer. “Hamburger it is,” he says. I don’t have a schedule tomorrow but Emelia is having a photo shoot at home so I wonder if I will be at home and keep an eye on Tiger or if I should try be out to avoid seeing the photo shoot crew fill up our home. I’ll wait and see how tomorrow is like. Maybe Carolina felt that I wanted someone to call and congratulate me because the phone in my hand starts vibrating and showing Carolina’s name. “Hi, Carolina!” I cheerfully answer the phone with a smile. “Hi magnae, what are you doing?” Carolina sweetly asks. “I’m in the car with Ji Young Oppa, heading home,” I answer and stretch out my back with a groan, “What about you?” If it was Maria calling I would say I just left Kyungho’s movie set, but I know Carolina doesn’t care so I just say I’m in the car. “I’m at the studio… Do you want to come by and listen to a thing we have been working on?” “Now?” I remove the phone from my ear to look at the time. It’s almost eight in the evening. “Yes, now. We’re at the agency. When will you be here?” My eyes are on Manager Lee. “Carolina wants us to visit the agency,” I tell him, making sure Carolina hears I ask him what he thinks. “I’m only the driver,” Manager Lee tells me. I sigh, a bit tired, but a quick visit to the agency is alright. “Fine. We’re stopping by McDonald’s on the way, do you want anything?” “Oh-oh-oh, you’re serious. I’ll ask Pete and Hyekyung what they want.” “Text me what you want, alright?” “Yes! That sounds great. I will ask the others what they want and I will text you and you will come with the food as soon as possible.” After hanging up with Carolina I find myself start wondering what she will want me to hear from the agency at this time. “Maybe it is a surprise party,” Manager Lee mentions, noticing my thoughtful expression, I guess. “If it was, you would not mention it,” I point out, thinking if it was a surprise party he would be in on it and he would not be this relaxed talking about it. Manager Lee seems to agree with me but I still wonder if they have prepared something at the agency. Carolina text me a list of four menus and some extra burgers, making me really wonder if it is for three people or if anyone else is there too. I keep texting to Jonghyun while we order food at McDonald’s: we have a lot of discussions through texts even if he is working. It’s nice doing this, talking even if we can’t see each other; I have missed this. The drive to the agency feels long because the car smells like food, hamburgers and pomes fries. At the agency there are surprisingly a lot of fans waiting, maybe they have spotted some idols there this evening (like Carolina) to be gathered like this on a Tuesday evening. They do take notice of my car driving up though, hurrying a bit closer but keeping some distance as if there is an invisible wall stopping them. I get out of the car, keeping the door open to put my phone away and get three of the McDonald’s brown bags while Manager Lee has already taken the other one and the drinks. He closes the door on his side while I step back to close my door with my arm, I hear the fans suddenly scream at the sight of me. “HANNAH!” “HANNAH!!” They are really roaring out my name, surprising me deeply but I look up at them with a smile. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” It must be the male fans screaming because their voices are heard so loudly over the girls and seeing the crowd of fans over by the invisible wall, I wonder if they are part of Puzzle, our fanclub, as they know it is my birthday. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, 5 PIECES’ BABY!” I laugh with a glance over at Manager Lee who starts walking to the back of the car to go to the door while I go to the front of the car, putting the bags of food down. “Why are you so loud?” I ask the crowd that starts jumping and just scream when I get closer to them. “You don’t have to scream your lungs out to be heard here, it echoes quite well.” “Oh my…” someone says but most of them seem to hold out their hands with gifts and papers as I approach them. “Happy birthday, Hannah,” someone says in English. “Thank you,” I nicely say in English and a few squeals are heard. “What’s this?” Coming up to them I point at a gift bag held out in front of me, I don’t touch it I just point at it and I can’t stop smiling at the fan girl’s shaking arm trying to hold it out further for me to take it. “It’s your birthday,” she whines. “I know that,” I joke and see someone hold out a hand above other’s heads in the back, wanting to shake my hand I think so I tease the girl trying to give me the gift bag by stretching up to shake the other fan’s hand. The girl whines when telling me to please accept her gift. “Did you get it for me?” “Yes!!” a lot of them answer. “Have you been here for long?” I ask them, still not accepting any gifts, I am just curious. “All day” “A few hours” I give them all a look, hoping they can see how disappointed I am that they have spent their day or hour being in front of a building in hope to MAYBE spot an idol. I don’t know how fans can do that. “Did you prepare this for me then?” I turn to the girl and finally accept the gift to sneak a peak inside it. “I did. I wanted to give it to you that even if you wouldn’t be here today I would try at the airport the day after tomorrow. I missed you at the airport this morning,” the girl says in a hurry for me to hear all she has to say. I like this actually. They keep some distance by not flocking around me, which is unusual, the invisible wall stays up but I think that also means they want me to take notice of all of them. Those at the front and those holding out their hands I get gifts, shake hands, we talk and I tell them a secret that I visited Kyungho on his set when they ask what I have done on my birthday. “How are your hands?” someone asks in English. I look over at the side where an obvious Caucasian is standing. Two of them, actually, two Caucasian girls with backpacks are standing next to the Koreans fans that I have been chatting with and I wonder if they have even understood a word we have been saying for the past ten minutes. “My hands are just fine,” I say in English and hold up a hand to wave my fingers. “Where are you from?” I take two steps to the side to hold out my hand to shake theirs. “We’re from Toronto, Canada,” one of the girls answers. No wonder their English is fluent. “You are like so gorgeous, it’s breathtaking.” After laughing at their comment on how I look (embarrassed at that) I ask what brings them to Seoul. “We have been watching Girls Generation’s goodbye stage of [Party] and now we are waiting for SHINee’s comeback next week,” they tell me. Manager Lee clears his throat behind me. “Time to go,” he interrupts. “You should see as much of Seoul you can,” I tell the two Canadian girls in English, “it’s a city full of culture and fun, so do as much as you can. Have fun and be safe.” I start to back away, waving with one hand while holding the gift bags in the other. “Get home safely, everyone,” I tell the fans, waving as I back away, listening to my manager. “Thank you for the gifts too.” They keep congratulating me on my birthday and singing when I leave, putting me in a great mood. “Samsung sent the phone you ordered,” Manager Lee brings up once we get inside, heading straight to the studio. “It arrived earlier, want me to go get it?” “It’s here?” “Yeah.” “Why? I wrote down my home address,” I mention, not thinking it is a big deal as long as I get the phone but it is strange. I expected it to come home. “I changed it,” Manager Lee answers, probably noticing how lightly I take it. I just want to see what Carolina has waiting for me, to eat my burger and to look through the birthday gifts from my fans. “Why would you do that?” I don’t get it. “Just because,” he shrug his shoulder. “That doesn’t make any sense though,” I point out to him. “I know.” He doesn’t explain it and neither do I ask him to explain, I am more hungry and curious than wanting to argue about where my new phone got sent to. As long as I get it, I don’t care even if I don’t get it. We reach the studio, hearing from outside how they are playing music. I look through the glass first, seeing Carolina, Hyekyung and Pete in there. I leave my bag and the gifts outside on the sofa before heading inside the studio, waving the McDonald’s bags for them. It is really just the three of them. “Food!” Pete laughs and lungs at a bag right away. “Cheese burgers all the way. How many did you get?” “Eight cheese burgers,” I answer quickly. “Two are mine.” I’ve got two cheeseburgers and a Coca Cola to myself so after grabbing that I sit down to let the others sort out their things. “What are you working on?” I ask, looking at the computer screen to get a sight of what they have been up to. Hyekyung chuckles at my question and I don’t think Carolina hears it as she is standing up, picking pomes fries from a bag while looking after her hamburger. “Let us eat first, you are always in a hurry, Hannah,” Hyekyung tells me. “You went to visit Kyungho?” Pete wonders. “He was the star,” Manager Lee is fast to say, “He acted with Choi Minsoo and they were incredible, it felt like watching a real incident occur because they were so good.” I nod at Hyekyung when he looks at me to confirm if Manager Lee is saying the truth or not. “The director said Kyungho will get an award for this role,” I add on, “He was very positive about it but I get why Kyungho is so nervous too. It is serious work there, they are strict and direct but he seemed to fit in well there.” “I thought so too,” Manager Lee agrees with me. “It will be fun to see the movie when it comes out,” Pete comments, “That little boy is growing. And Choi Minsoo is the best.” “You think?” Carolina grimaces at his last words. “He frightens me…” “I think he’s both … cute and charismatic,” I mentions. “But you should’ve see Kyungho. He was honestly in his right element; he was so good that I got all emotional-” “She almost started to cry seeing Kyungho in action,” Manager Lee says and points at me. “He will kill it,” Hyekyung says, “I don’t go to the cinemas, but I would go see his big screen debut. I’m excited for it.” I glance at what they have been working on again. Now they all have sat down to eat, so I think I can change the subject. “So… what did you call me here for?” Pete and Hyekyung both looks amused while chewing their food (it looks like they haven’t eaten all day) but Carolina seems excited to change the subject. “I’m going to play it for you and you can tell us how good it is from a scale from 1 to 10.” She head over to play the song they have been working on and a song starts playing loudly through the speakers. It’s a pop track, which is unusual from Carolina, and I focus on the song while eating my cheeseburger and hearing Hyekyung talk once in a while. Suddenly Carolina starts singing; *Just a little bit closer, makes me loose my balance Just a little bit closer, let you see me a bit better Just a little bit closer, how come I miss you more? What do I do? What is the step now?* The lyrics are familiar and the melody suddenly seems to click for me that I gape up at Carolina who can not sit down. She looks nervous when silently going *na na na na na na, na na na na na na, na na na na na na na…* in a cute manner, looking at me before she pauses the song and swallows, I can see how nervous she is. “What are you up to?” I ask her. “We trashed this song last year.” “Yes, we did but…” Carolina starts to say and takes her time before continuing; “We had a meeting and I played [Miss Right], but they didn’t like it as a ballad but told me to make it into a pop song and … they want us to change the lyrics.” Last year when preparing for my solo album I worked with Carolina on a few songs, we did this ballad called [Miss Right] which could be considered a man’s point of view, so it was trashed from making it to the album and basically being suited more for a boy-group than us so we trashed it. The melody is faster and different than from how we made it but the lyrics are the same. “… What?” I end up asking. “Tell her,” Carolina touches Hyekyung’s arm and he takes a deep breath to begin; “We played the pop version of [Miss Right] at the meeting earlier today when they said the demo is perfect, we just have to change the lyrics.” “Who are ‘we’?” I ask. “You and Carolina,” Hyekyung answers while Carolina points from me to her. I don’t get it. “What do I have to do with this? You are the ones working on this song.” “Yes, but the two of us created [Miss Right], so I want to write the new lyrics with you. We can do that.” “Right now?” I ask, suddenly thinking of Tiger who stood by the doo