Time always pass quickly when you have fun. I have kept thinking of that sentence during the weekend. Friday and Saturday pass by in a flash with promotions, performances and practice, 5 Pieces are busy all hours of the day and night: From morning to evening we perform and promote the Christmas single, and at night we practice. The two days go by quickly because we have fun and we are doing something we love, which makes me frown when Sunday passes by slowly, there is no Inkigayo today; instead it is SBS’ yearly Music Festival, gathering the year’s favourite artists to give a special ending. I guess I don’t look forward to that because the day is too slow, as if Time wants to make me feel awkward and insecure the whole day. I don’t mind performing, I love performing with my members, but it is the social part and that all these idols gathers and you have to lower your head and talk to people and the day never seems to come to an end. “I think I get more and more awkward at these places,” I mutter to Julia when we are heading to the stage. SBS Music Festival is on-going, half the show has soon passed and Carolina’s solo performance is currently starting. “Mm, you’re not the only one,” Julia agrees, “Maybe it all changes the older we get – we are the older ones here now.” I nod in agreement though that is not exactly what I think I mean, but I guess it is the same thing. We aren’t old, but it has been six years since our debut and that makes most idols promoting our juniors. Though the music festivals are better than music programs these days; more familiar faces here but I’m not much of a social person. We have tried to practice backstage for tomorrow’s Christmas concert, being very busy. It wasn’t until an hour ago I even caught a glimpse of 2NE1’s Dara and we both had pointed at each other in surprise before greeting one another. The four members gather by the stage, we stretch and look at Carolina’s performance while getting our microphones and chatting with the people around us. We will perform two times today. First now after Carolina’s solo, Emelia will go up on the stage and rap before we perform [Like That] with a bunch of people we rehearsed with today. It is a special performance actually, to perform with these people and promote the dancing campaign we promoted in the summer with flash mobs and whatnot. I am wearing a bow-front plaid blouse in wine red tugged inside a short two-layered skirt in black, a pair of dark tights and my favourite; black ankle boots in military style – it is the most comfortable thing to wear on your feet. My hair is lightly styled in curls down my sides and I am wearing a thin chain around my wrist with a matching thin ring on the same hand. The point to [Like That] is to let loose to the music and have fun dancing. “Let’s go out there and have a blast, everyone!” Maria cheerfully calls out to the dancers. I smile at her passionate call to everyone, and I can see even the nervous ones smiling back at her. Maria knows how to move people; she probably wouldn’t even need words to make everyone relax before the performance. Emelia step up on the stage to rap a remix of her solo [Invisible] that was released this year. I get ready for our turn, making sure my skirt is sitting correctly and that I’m holding on to the microphone (yes, because my brain can play tricks I need to make sure I’m not imagining there is a microphone in my hand). I don’t know what it is, but I’m not nervous to perform today. Maybe because we have been performing and practicing and barely slept for a few days, but it feels like we are going up on the stage as if it is our home – welcome home, 5 Pieces. Our rapper is done on the stage, smirking and looking charismatic, standing at the centre of the main stage. “It’s about time we all start moving our bodies a little bit,” Emelia says in her dark tone. “SBS Gayo Daejun 2014! I’m sure you are all ready, yeah! 1…” Out of nowhere she says the number ‘1’, but with a finger held up to count the music intro for [Like That] begins and Emelia continues to count ‘2… 3… 4…’ while the whole stage is warming up for what will come. Emelia smirks at the camera in front of her. “5 Pieces,” she says as the number five, and the beat and rhythm bursts out with us coming over with all the dancers filling out the stage in different clothes and concepts, we all dance together while us ladies gathered at the centre have the attention. The audience seems happy to see us, maybe they thought Carolina and Emelia would have their solo performances now and 5 Pieces perform at the end, so they are probably surprised to see us now. It’s fun. The dance is tiring because we are constantly looking to be jogging on the place while dancing and moving back and forth, waving things here and doing expressions there. As said, it is a fun performance, a song where you just go along with the beat. We sing well live too. I can say that because we are 5 Pieces, it’s the way we are living – by doing live performances – and after six years it is very nice if we can do a pretty decent live performance. I love it actually, adapting to dance and sing at the same time, and the smile on my face is the most honest smile I have shown all day. For sure, being on the stage is the place where I am the happiest. To perform with my members and dance with strangers filling the place, enjoying it with movements and shaking body parts and having fun to the music – [Like That] brings the joy of having the audience try to follow along. The performance is short, but I’m happy we will go up later again to perform more songs. We don’t change clothes when going backstage; instead we get to wait for a bit before going up to join other idols next to the audience to sit and enjoy the show with our colleagues and fans. That’s when my happiness changes into nervousness again; sit and make sure you don’t look like a fool. Fans are hawks at these times; they try to capture everything. Don’t yawn, don’t look bored, don’t look angry, make sure you look happy, show reactions to everything even if it’s nothing to react to, make sure to pay attention, sit straight, keep your legs together – it’s too many things to keep track on. First when getting up on the platform, all I see are idols standing up and turning around when hearing among each other that 5 Pieces has arrived, and heads are lowered. Some bow pretty deep, and all I do is bowing back while trying to see as many faces as possible, to try knowing who the heck I am greeting. The best part is that I can bow and bow quietly, following my members to our seats. I follow my members a lot. But the funny thing is that as soon as we get up on the platform our seats are straight to the right, at the back and we don’t even have to pass by anyone to reach them. So I happily take my seat and try to read off the atmosphere of what is happening on the stage – pay attention. I put a blanket over my legs, hiding them so no one can see that I’m not sitting like a lady, but my back is straight and I fix my hair before looking up again, seeing Emelia leaning forward to talk to Chen Xiumin. EXO is sitting in front of us, EXO don’t have any backrests on their seats, and they are overly excited today. Even backstage they have been loud and moving a lot, now they sing along and bounce to the music. They are very happy today, talking about their fans being the best and I do think Emelia was arguing with one of them later of who has the best fan-club. Idiotic, it had been the most idiotic argument I have ever heard a bit of. I pay attention during the show, watching SISTAR and 2NE1 perform – with EXO jumping in front of us – and I am sitting politely smiling when two hosts are next to us for the next segment where they appoint EXO for ‘best selfie’ award. I don’t even know what that is, but according to Tao and Kai they had been taking selfies earlier, the two of them tell me when the next performance begins and they are turning around to talk to me, explaining that 5 Pieces was backstage for that selfie segment. The performances now have a Christmas concept, and though I do pay attention I am more interested in the low conversation Maria has with me about 2NE1’s performance; how upset CL has been all day that Bom is not allowed to perform with them a year after the drug scandal while all male idols who have gone through violet scandals and whatnot can even release new singles and have fan meetings and concerts. Maria is upset too, about the difference between women and men in Korea. I know she doesn’t like the Korean culture view of women. The things we talk about could get us kicked out of Asia, no matter how much we love other aspects of Korea. If we had talked about it a few more seconds, the members of 2NE1 would’ve heard us talk about them, well, we started off talking about them but continued over to talk about the difference between woman and man in Korean view. As soon as they get up on the platform they spot us – of course, we are right next to them and they have to go by us to reach their seats. “Heeeey,” Dara looks surprised and gives out an awkward laugh along with her hand. I take her hand first, lightly; before she moves on to do the same with the others. “Great performance,” I say politely when CL passes by us last. “Thank you,” she bows in response. I’m not close to any of them, but Dara and I have always showed close friendship backstage even if we never really talk. I think our fans got a bit crazy a few years ago when both 5 Pieces and 2NE1 were filming our own reality shows and Dara made an appearance in our show while I made an appearance in their show; just a brief appearance backstage when we were promoting at the same time, saying a few things about each other. I like our friendship. It is a bit awkward but when we meet we get happy and smiles and exchange words. I do think our fans would say we are closer than what we actually are. For a bit I must’ve forgotten that this year’s music festival with SBS is having awards. I laugh when an actor and actress go up next to us and over to the stage to present an award and I laugh more when Emelia points out that I had forgotten it – she understood the reason for my laugh. Best Female Group Award goes first. They don’t say who is nominated but I guess it is one of the groups sitting among us, and with a glance around I see 2NE1 and some girls dressed in black at the front that I don’t know, and of course, 5 Pieces too. Kim Sooro announces the winner and when he says 2NE1, I become one of the fans in the audience by standing up applauding. I lower my head after giving high fives to Dara, and I am still lightly applauding when sitting back down. It goes quick. They say a few words after receiving the award and then comes back to take their seats. I am still applauding for them. It’s not your typical award show, I think, but to receive an award at a rare occasion like this, I do think it would be nice. Next up is Best Male Group Award, and I am sitting there smiling when Maria starts pointing at EXO in front of us, as if either the cameras or fans will spot her prediction. No wonder; they win. Beside from applauding we do give a cheer too when EXO’s name is called out. Maria steps forward to give Chanyeol a pat on his arm to congratulate him, but I stay standing by my seat applauding them and smiling. “I told them to do that,” Maria comments when sitting down, showing the L hand motion that EXO has been doing all day. “No, you didn’t,” Emelia chuckles next to us and I laugh at Maria trying to boast about something that’s none of her business. Maria just smiles, hearing Suho thank the artists at SM and when he glances our way she starts pumping her fists in the air as a proud and friendly senior. Maybe I’m a bit embarrassed, but Maria is always fun to be around. “I did tell them to do it though,” Maria tell me, “I talked to Suho and Sehun about it.” “But you didn’t come up with the idea first,” Emelia butts in again. “No. But I told them to do it,” Maria mutters. A few minutes later we are told to go backstage. EXO leaves too. We will prepare for our performances. “Congratulations,” I cheer to Kai when I get next to him, clapping my hands lightly automatically for him. He laughs when thanking me. Both groups part ways with conversations and laughter to change clothes in our own dressing-rooms, and I wish them a good stage as they will perform before us. Our dresses for the performance are beautiful. A short strapless sequin dress, where the sweetheart bodice is covered in sequin details and the skirt is unique in a layered high low style to be longer in the back. We have different colours of the skirt, but I feel the most satisfied with mine – black. Julia has one in green, Emelia’s is in royal blue which makes her blonde hair and light skin stand out extra glowingly, Carolina’s red hair suits the ivory skirt and Maria is our princess in strawberry pink. Waiting for our turn, I do sit down in the corner to give Jonghyun a call. I miss him. I pout when talking to him because we talk about our schedules during this upcoming week and he says I am acting cute for him to come rushing to me, but I’m just pouting, and when he tries to imitate me we both ends up laughing. He finds it hilarious that I can be so cute even on the phone. He isn’t the kind to act cute, but he has times when he just softens up and become cute without even knowing it. Manager Lim has to hold out his hand to be given the phone as I couldn’t seem to hang up the first times he told me to get ready. “So we are going to practice after this?” I ask, surprised as I remember the concert is tomorrow – it’s already Monday tomorrow. “Hell no,” Maria laughs and kicks up her bare feet on the table, “How tired wouldn’t we look tomorrow if that’s the deal? We go to bed early tonight and work harder tomorrow.” “Oh…” “Baby, we mentioned that like several times just today,” Maria smiles at me. “Did you forget already?” “I wasn’t thinking,” I am fast to mutter, while truth is that my whole head was thinking we are going to practice for the concert after the show. I sigh when putting on the fancy high heels. I do think we have talked a lot this weekend about practice, when to do it and so on. Maybe I just got confused. We get ready for our turn, from top to toe we look pretty – Maria says pretty isn’t the word to use, she wants to use beautiful, but it seems to overdo it – and we stretch and warm up our voices again. “It’s the first time we are performing [Silly Boy],” Julia points out to me. “Beside from at concerts,” I nod. “But it has been given positive reactions at the concerts.” “Obviously,” Emelia rolls her eyes behind us, “[Silly Boy] was high on the charts when it came out, which is pretty rare for a commercial track.” “Ya, ladies,” Maria is walking several meters behind us. “Don’t go around boasting about our music. Let’s just go up there and show them.” I can imagine Emelia rolling her eyes again while Julia and I just smile at each other. I know each one of us have the thoughts of working harder and become better, to be a better role model and artist, a better 5 Pieces. Yet, I think Maria’s words give us confidence to not doubt where we stand. As 5 Pieces we can do anything, nothing is impossible, at least that’s what we think when going to the stage. It’s all thanks to our fans we can have those thoughts. [Silly Boy] was released around the same time as our repackage album in August; this was a single for an accessory brand commercial we collaborated with along with our album concept. We didn’t promote it or perform it other than at our GIRLS POWER tour, yet the agency wants us to perform it now at the end of the year. I like the lyrics, the song is a bit y but it is filled with instruments, I like the song. It’s fun to perform too, like all our songs this year. I’m not on the stage when our performance starts. I find it funny to get up on the platform where the other idols are sitting, and I take the same seat I had before, where now EXO’s Lay, Xiumin and Chen take their seats with me. They look handsome in the suits they wore for their performance though Lay sitting next to me looks a bit nervous that I’m there but I’m just as nervous myself. Carolina is behind the silver drapery hanging down from where you get up on the platform. Our performance begins, the music is loud and it feels super strange to hear our song and to see Emelia, Julia and Maria on the main stage arriving up from the floor in a vintage sofa, looking y and alluring and dancers are around doing their thing on the stage. While here I am, sitting as part of the audience watching them looking awesome: they pull off such a great show. O