You woke up early the next day and cleared yesterday’s untouched dinner off the table. You prepared some lemon tea with honey in a thermos and set it on the table with a note telling Junhyung to drink it for his hangover.

You sneaked into the bedroom to change and wash up. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying yourself to sleep but you ignored it and just got ready as quickly and quietly as you could. Thankfully, Junhyung didn’t wake up and you snuck back out of the bedroom and went out.

You didn’t have any plans. All you knew was that you didn’t want to be there when Junhyung woke up. You wandered around for a few hours before you decided to call Soojin.

Soojin came to meet you at a café an hour later. “Hey!” She greeted as she took a seat opposite you. “What happened to you? You eyes are so red and swollen!” She gasped.

You shook you head and looked down. “Junhyung oppa and I had an argument. He came home drunk. He was out celebrating with his friends because he passed the audition and got into the company but I was just so disappointed and angry that he forgot my birthday. I lost it and I yelled at him. Then he accused me of being jealous and said that I was nobody.” Tears started to spill out again. Soojin came beside you and pulled you into a hug while patting your back gently to calm you down.

“There there. Hush.” She whispered softly.

“H-he’s right you know.” You stuttered out when you had calmed down a bit.

“Who’s right?” Soojin pulled away a little and looked at you.

“Junhyung oppa.” You began. “I was being selfish. I should have been happy for him especially since I know more than anyone how much this means to him.”

Soojin dabbed the tears on your face with a tissue and gave you a small smile. “That may be true. But it still doesn’t change the fact that he forgot his best friend’s birthday. It also didn’t give him the right to say all those hurtful words to you. ------ah, I know you love Junhyung and would do anything for him. But you need to remember that you deserve to be happy too.”

“But unni, I am happy.” You blurted out before realizing your words. “Well, not now. But I usually am” You corrected.

Soojin gave you a knowing look. “Are you sure about that?” You nodded in answer. “Ok, then answer me this. When was the last time you were genuinely happy about something that wasn’t in one way or another tied to Junhyung?”

That got you. Even though you tried your best to think of a memory that didn’t involve Junhyung, you couldn’t think of any. Ever since you met him all those years ago, the both of you were inseparable. Was that wrong? You frowned at that thought.  

“Can’t think of any?” Soojin said. “I’m not saying that that is wrong. Junhyung and you are best friends after all but have you ever thought about what would happen after he becomes famous? Even if he manages to find time to spend with you, it will be nowhere near the time you’re used to spending with him. You need to start getting used to your life without him. You have to learn to be happy even without Junhyung.”  She added as if she could read your mind. “Do you understand what I mean? I know you don’t want to hear this now but it’s for your own good, ------ah. I want you to be happy too.” Soojin hugged you again.

“I understand, unni. I’ll try to be happy even without Junhyung. I promise.” You smiled but you were sure it didn’t reach your eyes. You knew you had to do this but you just couldn’t bring yourself to be happy about it. At least not right now.