Sehun turned the glass in his hand, watching the small bubbles inside escaping to the surface. The more he moved it around, the more tiny explosion on the surface brought the soda water to moving. But even when the glass was placed on the table all still, the water was never still because of the fizzy tiny bubbles. Sehun sighed “If it would only be silent for one time.” he mumbled and placed his hand over the glass. Sometimes he was really fed up with all these secrets he had to keep inside of him. He was fed up with locking his inner wolf always back into a cage. It tickled him to let free what he hated the most. To lock it away was bad but to let it free would be worse. So he locked the urge to burst and break out with all the useless pills he had to take, waiting for the day when they will cure this curse. The side effects were disgustingly disturbing and even he was used taking the pills, it tortured him every time again to take them. Sometimes they make him faint, sometimes keep him awake two days straight. Sometimes they heal, and then they make him sick again. If they won’t giving him fever, then headache. Mood swings are the smallest problem, if Sehun can hide something really well then it’s his emotions. How else he could have hid his feelings for Minji all these years? He was a master in hiding feelings. But still, always when he was near her he feared to lose control, managed to not act awkward and he always calculates minutes up what she would react like so he could react back naturally. All these years of obeying and studying her, he read Minji like a book he had learned by heart. Every step she takes is obviously as clear as the sunlight, still Sehun had always to play innocent.

Sehun sighed and took the first pill, threw it inside his mouth and gulped them down with a big sip of water. The little pill was the medicine his father was testing on him, a compound to cure the lycantrophy disease, which made them all what they are – werewolves. There was nothing more important for Sehun than finding something that could cure him from what he never wanted to accept as a part of him. He would stop at nothing and nothing would stop him until he'll find out. To be a werewolf always had opportunities but in the end it was a burden. Every sickness is a burden, some makes you die, some makes you want to die. Some can heal, some never do. Humans get sick because they’re weak creatures. Werewolves are only sick creatures who will be weak for nothing than their own existence. Sehun clenched his fist and hissed. How often he had to hold himself back when he was angry, when he wanted to hold not back anymore, when he couldn’t let go the beast inside of him that wanted to be free. He couldn’t. He was with humans, with his family, with his friends. With Minji. How many times he had to leave when they were arguing because he felt how close he was to hurt her. Wouldn’t he be more feared than angry, there would have been enough risky situations where a simple argue could have ended deadly for her. He knew how short tempered werewolves could be because of emotional conflicts. There were enough story he had heard and always seen himself where a stupid joke or a useless discussion ended in scars and blood.  “You can’t always run away from problems, Sehun!” Minji always scolded him but she doesn’t know that he wasn’t running away from problems but himself; to keep her safe. He always returns to apologize so the littlest argument or discussion would be quickly forgotten and he had to put his proud aside a thousand times to let Minji always be right. Even if she wasn’t!

But for Sehun, she was more important to keep safe than him being right. But with him she can’t be completely safe, even he wished to be able to. That girl! Sehun thought and gulped down the second pill. It only minimized the side effects of the first pill. The only problem with it was, that it makes him tired, loosens concentration and makes him risky. Literally risky! It was like someone pulled off the plug to his rationality and shut down the little voice that tells him to leave this or don’t do that. So in the end, he was even more dangerous than before. Sehun sighed when he thought back when he once forgot to take the last pill and quickly drank down the rest of his water with the last pill. It was only a Vitamin C compound but very important. If Vitamin C for humans helps for their immune system, Vitamin C for werewolves helps them to have a clear mind and strengthen his mind will. C for control.

But there was one thing, no pill on the world could help him for one thing; his feelings for Minji. Sehun chuckled bitter and looked up to the clock. One minute went by, five, ten. Sehun stood up and walked to his room, grabbed the little notebook and paged until he found his last entry. Fever till 40°, crazy headache and cold sweat the last time. Sometimes he wondered if the pill was even minimizing anything but than he remembered what crazy pain he had when he didn't took them and how he freaked out and needed a new room garniture for his room after that. He spun the pen between his fingers when the pen slipped through and landed on the floor. Sehun looked on his hands which were slightly shivering. Great, it's starting again! He hissed angrily and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. Again, he missed the perfect moment to let the side effects not show up. He bent down to pick up the pen and with a loud bump he was on all fours. “Sehun?” his mom called from the living room. Still with everything spinning around him, he pushed himself up to his bed “I’m okay.” He yelled back before she would get the idea to look after him. He fumbled for his phone somewhere beside him and texted Minji to come to him a bit later, in this state he wouldn't risk to go watch a movie together with her.  He got more careful after the incident a few months ago, where he risked her getting in highly danger because of his thoughtlessness.

It was two months ago when Minji had seen her parents last, one month since she had heard from them the last time. The last two month was the most confusing part of her life ever! Her parents said they would be absent for four weeks – okay! Minji could handle that. They called every day and talked to her an hour about how they are, if Sajin is fine and if Minji can handle everything on her own. Four weeks had passed and Minji waited every day patiently for her parents’ call. Five weeks passed – no call, no message, no letter, nothing! She got worried, called them but they didn’t pick up the phone, another week later the phone number was suddenly wrong! Somebody deleted it. Minji was in panic, ran to the police and announced an missing announcement. Another two weeks of panic and anxiety passed, a month. Nothing! She was worried and afraid. She was sleepless at night, still went to college the next day but couldn’t concentrate and took care of her little sister who cried all day for her parents to come back home. As everything slowly grew over her head, Minji really forgot to take care of herself. The situation was taking over. She lost weight, looked unhealthy pale and those black shadows under her eyes wouldn’t go away. Only then she almost got into a car accident as it was late and she drove home by herself but she was that tired that she had closed her eyes for a second and veered of the street.

~

“It’s enough now, Minji!” Sehun said, dissize her driving license, promised her to take her sister to kindergarten and drive Minji to college every day. “Go stay with me, you need help and you know you can always count on me.” He said but Minji shook her head. She felt already awful enough, she didn’t want to involve Sehun into this too. Sehun insisted to help her that long until they made a compromise. She would live with Sehun until she feels better and Sehun’s mother was more than welcomed with this idea as she was also really worried about Minji’s condition. Another silent week passed where Minji lived with Sehun’s family. Minji tried to eat normally again, concentrated on school as Sehun’s mother took care of Sajin and Sehun could sleep a bit more peacefully because he knew that Minji was save. Once or then she knocked silently at his door in the middle of the night, crying, and Sehun put her in his arms until her tears would dry. Then he made her tea or a hot chocolate and they watched a movie or played games to bring her to other thoughts until they both fell asleep on the couch. They were all tired the next day but the following night Minji was that exhausted that she slept almost peacefully in the guest bed with Sajin next to her, holding her sister’s tiny palms.

"I don't even know anyone here Sehunnie. Can't we leave again? I really don't feel like partying. I am not that kind of person." Minji said for the maybe 100th time but Sehun only ignored her and grinned about her whining. "Don't worry you bunch of chicken. Parties are fun, they say. And if I know right, Jongin, Baekhyun and Jongdae should be there somewhere too." He craned his neck when they entered the big house and tried to look out for them over the flashing lights. He took Minji with him to get her to other thoughts but she made it actually really hard for him today. “Okay, nice place. Can we leave again?” Minji asked grumpy but he only giggled and ruffled her hair when Jongdae screamed his name over the music and waved at them. Sehun smiled and grabbed Minji’s hand and passed through people he had seen once or never before. Typical college parties. All messy with drunk people, dancing bodies and heads stuck together for chatting in the corners or....making out. Perfect place to get your mind off problems! "Yo yo yo man what brings you here? Hey Minji." Luhan said and Sehun rolled his eyes. Luhan was only there to keep an eye on them because normally he hates parties and crowded places like wolfs bane. Okay, nothing was that worse, but Luhan loved to act like this. "Wow. Minji is that really you? How come you get your smart brain to such a sloppy party? Sehun what kind of friend are you to bring her here?" Jongdae laughed and Minji felt really awkward and tried to smile "That’s what I told him too." They laughed loudly while Minji looked around in the crowd.

She really didn't fit in here at all and really wanted to leave again. Her mind was far away anywhere. She was constantly thinking about her parents and felt so wrong to pretend to have fun here. If Sajin is sad right now when I'm not there? Sehun told her he will get something to drink and disappeared between some people and Minji stood awkwardly around and curiously glanced to a couple making out next to some people who didn’t even seem to be disturbed by that. "Minji, you really should see your face. Here, take this it makes you stand this party better." Jongin said and gave her a small glass of heavy scented liquid. Minji blushed as Baekhyun giggled too, and she promised herself to only look on the ground to not get caught again. "Ya Jongin don't give her the hard ones." Luhan bashed him and looked to Minji who just shrugged her shoulders and drank it. She didn’t want to be the nerd that kept on judging over the drunk people around her. Maybe Jongin was right and you  can only stand this all if you keep on drinking. What ever. She shot down the glass in one gulp and burned like it was on watery fire and she curled her lips. "Gosh" she hissed and grabbed Bae