"Bo, Siwon" Mrs Choi addresses both of us over one of our two families' regular brunch get-togethers.

"Yes, Mrs Choi?" I reply.

"Mum?" Siwon asks.

"We've discussed with your parents, Bo" Mrs Choi looks over at Mr Choi approvingly and nods in my parents direction, and continues, "and we've decided that it's time. Siwon and you shall officially announce your engagement at your upcoming birthday party! We've found a great date for your wedding, 1 year from now, when you both graduate from E. P. So this engagement party will be a grandiose 'save the date' invitation, a precursor to the main event. You'll announce your wedding date at the engagement party!"

WHAT?!

"Isn't it exciting, Bo! It'll be the party of the century! Your birthday official engagement party all at once! The Daily Post will cover of course. Make it official so the whole world will know that you and Siwon are engaged to be married!" my mum joins in excitedly. 

"Babe, that is such a brilliant idea! We love it mom, thanks!" Siwon grasps my hand and smiles to his mom.

"Yes, this is so exciting! So much planning to do! Bo, you must invite everyone from E.P. It'll be a huge party! No expenses spared. We can..." Mrs Choi and my mum chatter on excitedly with grand plans for the engagement party but my mind goes blank and my stomach feels queasy.

***

Finally! Something exciting is stirring in the air! Queen B and her Prince Charming are to be officially engaged this spring! Keep a lookout for your invites everyone, as the entire E.P. is invited for the party of the century!

XOXO  Gossip Girl

***

Everyone at E.P. has either heard about my upcoming engagement party or has received their invitation already. So everywhere I walked in school today, there's been some well-wisher accosting me and effusively congratulating me. I feel sick in my stomach. 

I wonder if Yixing received an invite as well? I've not seen him around? Oh I don't know! I don't care if he attends the party or not. Or do I? Thinking about Yixing, I feel even more quesy. I've been getting these uneasy feelings eversince our parents announce their decision to hold our official engagement party. Is it pre-wedding, or rather, pre-engagement jitters? Am I getting cold feet? But I've been looking forward to this day my entire childhood! The day I'll be married! Decked out like a princess. Married to my Prince Charming. I mean, I've always to wanted to marry Siwon and finally be Mrs Choi. So this is what I've always wanted? This is what I want, right? Is this, still what I want?

***

I absentmindedly walk into the car, deep in my thoughts. I close the door and heave a sigh of relief. But before the driver can drive off, the other door opens and Yixing pops in and closes the door behind him!

"Yixing! What are you doing?" I ask alarmed but I longingly take in his features. I just realise how much I wanted to see him!

"I meant to ask you the same thing. What do you think you are doing? What are you thinking?" Yixing chastises me while he takes out my engagement party invitation card and waves it at me. So he's received his.

"I...well, no need to thank me, our parents insist on inviting everyone in E.P. So, you are invited as well" I quickly recover.

"Well, here's my RSVP reply. I'm not going. And neither should you!" Yixing addresses me harshly and burns his eyes into mine. I look away.

He closes in on me and lifts my chin, "Look at me, Bo. You can't marry Siwon. You can't be engaged to him. You don't love him. He's not right for you. You know that!"

"W...well, you're not right for me either!" I retort and swat his hand away.

"I may be, I may not be. We still don't know cause you've not given me a chance yet! But nevertheless, Bo, even if I'm not the right guy for you. Neither is Siwon. There is definitely someone else more compatible with you than him. You are both so different! You have no common interests. You probably can't communicate on the same level and don't truly understand each other. How can you marry someone like this? How can you be engaged to be married? Are you absolutely certain you wanna spend the rest of your life with Siwon? Don't squander your future happiness away like that!"

"I...I've been with Siwon for years alright! We get along! Of...of course we can spend the rest of our lives together!" I reply.

"You get along. Are you just merely existing in each other's company though? Just merely tolerating each other? Do you even enjoy each other's company? Can you honestly say that you love him? That he's the man of your dreams? That he's your better half? That he completes you? That he makes your heart palpitate?"

I maintain silence and try to avoid eye contact with Yixing again.

"You're looking away again. You don't have to answer me, Bo. But deep down, you know I'm right. You don't have to answer me, or answer to anyone else. But at least be truthful to yourself! Don't run away from yourself! Don't hide from your own feelings, Bo! 

I understood when you ran away from me. I even understood when you lied that you lost your ity to Siwon and tried to erase our special encounter. It hurts me but I understand why you had to lie. But don't lie to yourself anymore, Bo. Stop lying to yourself! Stop denying yourself. Even if you don't choose me, I wish for you to choose your own happiness. I want you to be happy, Bo.

You're so special. So intelligent. So beautiful. So y. So full of passion, love and life! You're magnetic. You're truly the full package! Beauty and brains. You deserve a match who's more than just a pretty face. How I want you so much for myself! But if I can't, I want you to find happiness with someone else more deserving than me. Someone who's your match and can truly appreciate all these extraordinary qualities of yours and who can you make you genuinely happy and make you smile. I'm not here to ask you to choose me over Siwon, Bo. I'm just asking you to be honest to yourself and choose your own happiness. I'm begging you. It kills me that you may be making the greatest mistake of your life! Please don't do that! Please don't live a lie. You deserve so much more, you deserve true happiness and love, Bo!"

I look up at Yixing's impassioned eyes, "Thanks, Yixing. That's the most touching thing anyone has said to me." 

I want to kiss Yixing so badly now but I restrain myself. I sense Yixing restraining himself too. I'm not making the same mistake of kissing Yixing and cheating on Siwon on the sly again. They both don't deserve this. I need to set things right!