#09 Regret
Between Us -forever yours-
~ Yoseob's POV
I extend my hand to feel the snowflakes on my palm, feeling the coldness of the winter season. I look up to see the gray sky, still can't believe that it's already December again.
I extend my hand to feel the snowflakes on my palm, feeling the coldness of the winter season. I look up to see the gray sky, still can't believe that it's already December again.
The year will soon change and here I am, still having the status as a trainee instead of a debuted artist like what I always dream of.
Like what Kyuri is now.
"Kyuri...," I look at the melting snow on my hand. "Are you doing fine?"
Six months already since the last time I talked with my best friend, on the night when I confessed that I don't think of her as only a friend. We don't exchange any message at all.
I miss her. I really do.
After she debuted, our contact also decreased but, during the time, I knew she was doing well and she made time to tell me by herself, to inform me about what she's doing, and assured me that she never forgot me as her best friend.
Now it's like I'm nothing but a fan of her. I know that her first album is a success and she will try to promote in Japan. I know that she is not attending her college regularly due to the schedule and I know that gossips keep surrounding her.
Some girls have not been nice to her lately due to her close friendship with Super Junior, saying that she has no talent at all but using beauty to be famous.
That is annoying.
Her agency stays silence and lets her to keep going on despite all rumors. Once in a while I feel the urge to call her and give her encouragement like what I always did but, in the last second, I stop myself just by remembering our last conversation.
Her honest reaction when we talked about what she felt for Eunhyuk. My confession about how I saw her more than just a best friend. Her apology that made my heart ached.
Perhaps I'm just a coward who doesn't have any courage to face the rejection, who chooses to lose a best friend because of my selfishness, and a person who doesn't consider her feeling at all...
...but it's not that.
I'm afraid that she will be distracted if I stick around her. I don't want her to feel awkward because of me. I just want her to do her best even without me. Besides who am I anyway?
"Ah, I'm late, late, late," I murmur and fasten my pace, heading to the training place like what I always do.
I stop my steps the moment I realize who is standing near from the gate of my training academy. He is wearing a cap to cover his face and a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, resting his back casually againts the gate while keeping himself busy with phone.
"Ah...," I stand still, getting his full attention right away.
He smiles at me, bowing slightly as a greeting, "Yoseob. It's been a while."
"Eunhyuk Hyung...," I can't help but put an awkward smile. "It's been a while. What brought you here, Hyung?"
Eunhyuk just lets out a small laughter, walking to me with his hands in pockets, "Mind to talk with me for a moment? Ten minutes will do."
To be honest, I don't really want to talk with him alone. The only thing that connects our lives, except he is an idol and I'm still aiming to be a singer, is Kyuri.
However it's impolite for me to refuse his invitation, considering that he will be a senior for me in entertainment world one day... if I succeed.
"Sure," I nod and follow him to the nearby park which is not too crowded today; it's Saturday noon and the weather is too cold for family to go out at the moment, a perfect place to avoid paparazzi.
Eunhyuk takes a seat on a park bench while I stand on my feet, looking at him with unexplained nervousness. Is it because he is a star while I'm just someone who looks after him? Is it because I know who he is for Kyuri?
"How's training?" he opens up a conversation, looking at me. "It must be hard."
"Kind of," I force a smile. "How's life there? Must be very busy."
He smiles and finally tells a statement about the only girl that we know very well, "Kyuri misses you a lot, Yoseob."
What?
"And I miss her too," he drops his gaze with sad smile. "I really don't understand myself when it comes to her. Really."
"Yoseob...," he suddenly gives me a sharp look. "I'm going to say it straight. We're not even close or else but... I love Kyuri."
Why does he need to tell me this? Is it necessary for him to hurt me directly?
Kyuri likes him and he feels the same. I don't understand why he needs to look after me, tell me what he feels for Kyuri, and...
"Good to hear that, Hyung," I do my best to fake a smile, hiding the fact that my heart is actually bleeding inside. "I think Kyuri also feels the same. I'm... I'm gla-"
I'm choked with the congratulations words. I can't speak them out sincerely from heart; I'm not glad at all. It feels so hurt that I feel like I'm going to cry.
What else can I do though? Kyuri has rejected me and I know perfectly who her heart chooses. I can't pass the best friend's zone in her life. She must be happy if I support her relationship with someone she loves truly.
"She rejected me, Yoseob," Eunhyuk tells me a fact that suprises me. "I confessed to her around months ago and, well, she said she didn't want to think about a relationship yet."
"Eh?" I frown, afraid that I just misheard what he said. "She... She rejected you? But she s-"
"I think...," Eunhyuk speaks out his thought, "...she feels that it's not alright because you're her best friend. Well, I understand you two have a very deep bond as best friends so... I think I got it."
People may blame me for being such a fool because of my reaction afterwards but I have nothing to think but hoping that Kyuri will be happy.
With Eunhyuk.
"Aigoo, she is just being shy, Hyung. She likes you and I know it. Go for her," I blurt out the encouraging words. "I'll be the happiest best friend if she is with a top idol like you!"
I thought regret would come a little bit late after those stupid words but it comes earlier than I thought.
Someone drops a can of drink, causing the noise to make me turn around and face her. My eyes widen in shock, noticing that my best friend is standing right behind me for quite a while already.
"K-K-Kyuri..."
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