#21 Angel
Between Us -forever yours-
~ Eunhyuk's POV
"Good!" the director claims, clapping his hands in amusement. "Good take, Eunhyuk. Good job. Let's call it a day for now."
I bow to him and the staffs, thanking them for their hard work today. I just finished my personal shooting for "Forever Yours", the title track I will record together with Kyuri and Yoseob.
Unlike the usual phase of new digital single, we actually shoot the music video before audio recording. The producers came up with this unique decision after the title was decided.
"We want you to get the feel first. Put your heart into the song before singing it in the video. Yoseob, Eunhyuk, position yourself as Peter Pan. Kyuri, think of yourself as Wendy. Three of you should know how it feels before you sing it."
That's what they said. So, instead of having the music track plays in the background and just lipsync along with it, I really need to rap my part with the instrumental track as companion.
"Ah, can I watch their shooting result yesterday?" I ask after I monitored my own result. "I'm so curious about the Peter Pan and Wendy's encounter."
Of course it's the least real reason I have. I just want to see Kyuri even if she's in one frame with another guy.
Just like what I thought, my heart twists when I watch the recording: Yoseob sits down at the edge of the window and his eyes meet with Kyuri's, who is holding a book in her small room.
On another scene, they're laying down on a green field, watching the night sky as their fingers intertwine with each other slowly. Both of them smile as if they're in their own world.
"They have a really good chemistry," the director comments. "No offense at all, Eunhyuk."
Smiling bitterly, I retort, "Of course they do. They're best friends for years, even before they became idols."
Because Yoseob knows how it feels to be the Peter Pan in this story. Because he means what he wrote. Because he is truly in love with Kyuri, his Wendy from so long.
I clench my fists unconsciously upon remembering the moment when Kyuri asked whether I wanted a break between us or not. For her to think that far, guess I had crossed the line.
Now that I think of it, it's me who is at fault. I never tried to communicate with her regarding my anxiety of Yoseob being around her. It's me who was lacking faith on her feeling for me.
I kept thinking that she's being so insensitive and dense. A little part of me blamed her for not understanding the reason why I drew distance and acted so cold but, actually, it's me who couldn't understand her.
No matter how long I've been in a relationship with Kyuri, she has her own world -- her own Neverland -- where I don't belong to. I also have one and it's none of our mistakes to begin with.
It's her freedom.
"This," the director pauses the recording right on the scene where Yoseob is standing alone, watching Kyuri from afar with a tear escaping his eyes. "It's done in one take and, on top of it, it's a real tear."
The scene depicts Peter Pan who lets go of Wendy when she has found her love, watching her being happy while he's still in the Neverland.
Alone.
"Your Peter Pan here is alone
So, be happy for me, Wendy"
It's the last part of my rap which is written by Yoseob. I never put deep thought about it before, just rapping it in five seconds thirty minutes ago like any other rap part I have.
The lyrics. The challenge I asked him to do. He did it very well. They are actually a hidden message from Yoseob to Kyuri.
Now I'm sure of one thing about my relationship with Kyuri.
I'm the one who is unable to see what is happening between us.
~ Yoseob's POV
"Yang Yoseob!" Doojoon warns me, raising his eyebrow. "Wrong steps. Again. Yah, is something wrong or what?"
We're currently in middle of dance practice -- which I skipped yesterday for a personal reason -- but I just can't keep myself composed with all the mixed feelings at time.
Yesterday I went with all honesty towards Kyuri, including a heart confession. Again.
And I was welcomed with a rejection. Again.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The amusement park was not the place where I planned to tell her what my heart was feeling. It's true that I still loved her despite the fact that she's already someone else's girlfriend.
I shouldn't even bother to tell her that but, seeing her so down when she's having a fight with Eunhyuk, I just couldn't hold it for myself.
It's not what I wanted. Sure, I would be the happiest guy if she would look at me only but if it meant she's hurt and broken when Eunhyuk was not with her...
...it's not a choice for me to just let her be.
Silence surrounded us after I told Kyuri that I would always stay by her side.
"You don't need to think much of my words," I broke the silence, laughing nervously. "Really. I just tell you what I'm thinking. Like what a best friend will do."
She looked unsure, "I... I don't know that you... Ah, I'm such a cruel girl..."
"No, you're not," I reached out my hand to mess her hair playfully. "How would you know if I didn't tell you? Besides you didn't force me to stick around. It's me who wanted to do everything for you."
Still my words didn't make her feel better. I smiled, "Remember what I wrote for your part? 'Sometimes friends are only meant to be friends'. I hate how it rhymed with the other parts but, well, I think I come to understand it slightly."
For my surprise, Kyuri started to break into tears, sobbing, "Why... Why are you like this..."
"Eh?" I panicked, didn't know why she suddenly cried. Did I say something that hurt her? "W-Why? What? Why am I what?"
She bit her bottom lip, trying to hold her urge to shed more tears, "Staying by my side... When I don't see you the way you see me... Isn't it hurt? Isn't it... sad?"
As always, she's thinking of me. She's crying not for herself. She's crying just to think about what I felt.
And that question was enough for me to understand that I didn't stand a chance to win her heart. For now. Or maybe... forever.
And that question was enough for me to understand that I didn't stand a chance to win her heart. For now. Or maybe... forever.
"It would be a lie if I say I'm not sad," I took off my cap an put it on her head. "But there are so many good memories I had with you. Isn't that enough reason for me to stay?"
Kyuri calmed down a bit as she looked up at me. Her lips turned into a small curve, "Not every angel has wings. You're one of them, Yoseob."
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
We tried to enjoy some attractions afterwards before heading back to our schedule. I made her promise to talk with Eunhyuk once they have time for two.
Unfortunately it's me who has trouble to pretend that I'm fine.
I am no angel. If I'm an angel, shouldn't I love without hurting like this?
My phone vibrates, a notification that I have an incoming call. Since we're having a break, I take it out from my bag and frown when I see the unfamiliar phone number.
I'm not supposed to pick the call from anonymous number but, not knowing why, I hit the answer button, "Yes?"
"Yoseob?" a guy's voice echoes from another side. "It's Eunhyuk."
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