#23 Break Up
Between Us -forever yours-
~ Eunhyuk's POV
"Good night, birthday boy!" Leeteuk messed my hair, grinning from ear to ear. "Let's celebrate it altogether with others later tonight!"
I just nodded, putting a smile as each of us returned to our own rooms. I bid them good night, thanking them once again for throwing the birthday surprise for me.
It's 4 April again this year as the clock struck twelve at night. Once I returned to the dorm after my schedule for a good rest, Donghae and Shindong barged in my room, dragging me to the main room because something big happened.
Once I was in the room with all lights off, they brought a birthday cake for me, singing a happy birthday, wishing me birthday blessings.
However, the moment I returned to my room with three boxes of birthday presents from them, the happiness slowly disappeared to the thin air as I came to think about Kyuri.
After finishing the music video shooting for my rap part yesterday, I came to understand that it's not Yoseob that I should blame nor Kyuri for the falldown of my love life.
It's myself.
Who could blame Yoseob for being in love with his own best friend? They were so close, far before I met Kyuri. To think that they even went into silence year even after Yoseob had his debut, I was probably the main reason.
Now that I gave it a deeper thought, I seriously started to believe that I was the bad guy.
I never tried to encourage her to talk with Yoseob or helped two of them talked to each other again. I was too selfish to just think about how to protect my relationship with her, instead of how to protect her world.
I didn't even try to ask or figure out why they stopped talking. I just thought I could make Kyuri happy when both of us were busy with our lives...
...but I couldn't.
Park Kyuri.
Her name flashed on my phone screen -- a phone call.
I quickly snatched my phone and hit the green button, "Kyuri?"
"Hyukjae Oppa?" her voice echoed from another side. "I know it's a little bit late but... Happy birthday, Oppa. I wish you all the best blessings for your life."
My lips immediately turned into a curve upon her birthday greeting, "Oh, thank you. I... Thank you for calling me."
"Hmm," she hummed, pausing for seconds. "Oppa... Do you have any birthday wishes this year?"
Birthday wishes?
"I... I want to see you," I answered her honestly. "I really want to see you, Kyuri. I miss you."
I could hear Kyuri let out a sigh before replying, "I miss you too, Oppa. Hasn't it been a while since the last time we met?"
Even just by knowing that she missed me as well, I felt happy. I held my phone tighter, smiling as if she could see me, "Can we meet today? My birthday lunch, perhaps?"
"Ah, my schedule for today is... I'll try to check for tomorrow if you don't mind," she said. "I don't think I can make it for today so... I'm sorry, Oppa."
"Stop apologizing," I closed my eyes, feeling that my heart ached. "Just... At least for today, just... I'm thankful that you remember my birthday."
"It's our thirteenth monthsarry yesterday," she stated with sad tone. "At least it should be for us."
Indeed. Yesterday none of us talked about the celebration like what we used to do on the same date. I was hesitating whether to give her a call or not but, considering our last conversation ended coldly, I let go of the idea.
Now that she just said it should be a moment to celebrate for us yesterday, why did I feel that there won't be any monthsarry for us in the future?
"Kyuri," I gulped, not knowing if I should tell her what I had been thinking. "Tomorrow... I have something to talk about."
"Eh?" she reacted. "Talk? Two of us?"
"Yes, I want to have a talk... with Yoseob."
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
So here I am now, standing in front of Yoseob after I had a quick talk with Kyuri alone. Kyuri was confused when I told her that I wanted to talk with Yoseob.
I, myself, was hesitating if I could go on with my plan or not, but I gave a call to Yoseob yesterday afternoon, asking him to come to SM Building.
The hesitation was increasing, especially after I knew that Yoseob actually had confessed to her before I did two years ago, right on her birthday. He confessed once again on the day of their music video shooting.
"I think of him as my best friend. Always."
Kyuri told me so and that's how I could understand Yoseob's feeling as he poured it into the lyrics for our song.
Why would I talk to him then? Kyuri asked the same thing and, with all honesty, it's not because I pitied him. Yoseob is far from any need to be looked down.
"If we, ever, break up in any time soon... Do you think Yoseob will take my place?"
I asked Kyuri and her answer, for my surprise, is exactly what Yoseob did just now.
"I might not understand Yoseob's heart for all this time, since I'm a self-centered best friend, but I know, for any kind of reason you could give to him, Yoseob will not be happy to take anyone's place. Especially yours."
"Definitely no! What do- I'm not going to take an advantage from Kyuri like that! Not even if you ask me to!" Yoseob looks agitated upon my question.
Now I feel like a total idiot. I laugh out loud -- mostly laughing at myself for feeling like a jerk.
Yoseob and Kyuri know each other, just like an opened book. Even after I put it in harsh words, both of them reacted so defensive and protective for their best friends.
"By asking that question, Oppa... Do you want us to... break up?"
Her question repeats in my mind as I stop laughing, looking at Kyuri who is hiding herself well behind Yoseob.
"How's that? Did you hear that clearly, Kyuri?" I ask her, making Yoseob to turn around with wide eyes, not expecting anyone else to be here with us. "You got it right."
Both of them got it right.
Yoseob knew that Kyuri would never decide a break up. Kyuri knew Yosoeb would not be happy even if our break up gave him a chance to be with Kyuri.
My heart aches so bad to think that, perhaps, even though Kyuri doesn't return Yoseob's feeling, I'm nowhere near from understanding her the way Yoseob does.
A break up is not an option for me to choose at the moment.
It's my only path to walk on from now on.
"K-Kyuri?" Yoseob stammers, not hiding his shock at all. "Why... What are you... Hyung?"
I take a deep breath, looking at Kyuri who has puzzled look on face. She doesn't look happy nor sad. She's just simply confused, not knowing what to do or say.
"You reacted exactly the way Kyuri predicted," I fake a smile. "And you guessed the right thing about what Kyuri did. I don't doubt your friendship at all."
For one year relationship I shared with Kyuri, I rarely felt threatened or worried. Why, after all the moments we had, I feel this way when Yoseob has returned to her life?
Because, no matter how hard I try to deny it, I know Yoseob holds a really important part in Kyuri's life.
And, for now, I don't even deserve half of his place yet.
"Kyuri...," I clench my fists, knowing that perhaps I will regret my next words. "Should we really break up?"
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