#28 Forever Yours
Between Us -forever yours-
~Kyuri's POV
I take a deep breath, closing my eyes as I feel nervousness flows inside of me, as if it's my very first stage tonight.
I tighten my grip on the microphone, telling myself over and over that I will be just fine. All I need to do is to do my best like what I always do.
The only difference is I'm not alone tonight.
"Hey," someone taps my shoulder, making me to look up at him who gives me a wide smile. "Relax, will you?"
I puff my cheeks, looking at the man who wears a gray blazer on top of a white shirt, "It's our first time to perform the song together. How can I be relax so easily like you, Hyukjae Oppa?"
Eunhyuk laughs, poking the tip of my nose playfully, "You're just exactly the same with Yoseob. He's really nervous since the rehearsal, don't you think?"
"I'm all good!" my best friend complaints. He approaches us in his black long-sleeved shirt, "It's just like what Kyuri said. Three of us finally will perform together. Of course it's nervewrecking."
"Well, thanks to Kyuri for inviting us then," Eunhyuk gives me a wink. "It's supposed to be your solo stage, right?"
I nod, smiling at both of them, "Although it's almost three years since our collaboration project, I still think our fans deserve a special stage from us. Just this once."
"Then," Yoseob gives us a fighting pose with a microphone in hand, "let's do our best tonight as K.E.Y.!"
Five minutes later, three of us are standing in front of the audience. All of them are excited even before we start to sing our song.
Each of us greets them, introducing our names before the MC gives me a minute to talk, "It's such an honor to perform tonight with these two amazing artists next to me. The song itself is almost three years old but I think we just want to perform it as a special present for our fans tonight."
"The lyrics are written beautifully and we hope you will enjoy it," I smile sincerely.
"So this is... "Forever Yours"."
"There you are again, looking at the moon with your beautiful eyes
Don't you know how I'm enchanted to come closer to you?
What is this feeling? Why do I keep looking for you?"
As the song starts, the music video is played behind us. I was sitting at the edge of the window and Yoseob was looking at me with curiosity in his eyes.
It's the scene where Peter Pan was interested with Wendy, one before he approached her and led her to the Neverland just to see her smile.
Then I lift my microphone to sing my part.
"Here I am again, looking at the moon with one wish in my heart
Then you come, fly me to Neverland"
I was invited to a Valentine's Day Festival at an university a month ago. At first, I was going to perform my latest promotional single but, when I came across my old tweets, I found the one I tweeted when K.E.Y. was formed.
Why didn't I perform with Eunhyuk and Yoseob?
It's a special event and I wanted to make it special for three of us.
"Love, one word I want to say"
Yoseob broke all of insecurity and doubt between three of us last year. That night he asked me a question about what my heart was feeling for Eunhyuk.
I just never expected Eunhyuk to be there and listened to my honest answer.
That I still loved him.
"Friend, one word I believe in"
"Do you mind if I still be around you?" Yoseob once asked me the next day after his plan of revealing my thought out loud.
"Why would I mind?" I asked him back, not even thinking of a possible reason. All of all, I should be thanking him for making me honest towards Eunhyuk.
"Because I still have feelings for you."
"Now that you're here, I know I love you"
Yoseob is the one who made me realized that if two people tried to be perfect and ignore everything else, it's nothing. It's our imperfection that should complete everything.
He is also the one who made me understood what a real friend is.
"But sometimes friends are only meant to be friends
And we should let go
Of our own Neverland"
Yoseob would stay at my side as a friend. Even when he knows I don't return his feeling. Even when he knows my heart beats for someone else. Even when he knows we're just meant to be best friends.
"I should be the one asking that, Yoseob, since I could hurt you again and again when we're near."
His reaction assured me so much that he would never leave me alone.
"If you're happy with your love, why would I be hurt?"
"I wish I could tell you how much I love you
I wish you'd be okay with it
Because it hurts when our love ends
But, really, it hurts even more when I cling to it, knowing that it's not there"
Eunhyuk ends his rap part which invites cheers from the audience, letting Yoseob to take his part.
"Here we are again, laying down under the same sky
Holding your hand, I wish it's eternity
I won't forget you
But I know we're not meant to be"
I tried to be happy without Eunhyuk. I made myself busy with work and all but, still, a part of me couldn't forget him.
Because something always stayed between us.
"Love, one word I never think of
Friend, one word I want to forget
Now that you're here, let me tell you this
That sometimes friends aren't meant to be just friends
We should not let go
Of our own Neverland"
"I'll tell you once our three-years-date-prohibition ends."
That's what Eunhyuk told me that night. He also told me he would never break a promise and, by that, I knew he's talking about that promise he made for me.
"I will be your first and your last."
"Tell me, baby, tell me now
What is my fault in loving you with all my heart?
But, know this, girl
This feeling I have for you
I do not feel it for anyone else
So please listen to me"
Time went by and we changed into more mature persons. Sometimes scandals still hit us but we live our lives for the fullest, knowing that there's nothing easy but it's possible.
But I always keep the faith.
Of believing in Yoseob as my best friend, who will be there for me through everything, and that he will find his happiness who is better than me.
Of believing Eunhyuk's promise that he will be my first and my last.
Of believing that love doesn't hurt. It's us who don't want to understand that hurt ourselves.
"Even if I promise to be your Peter Pan
I can't be your Wendy forever
This only a monologue, of one-sided love"
"Did you ever hate me for breaking your heart again and again, Yoseob?" I asked him on his birthday January last year. "Have you ever thought that... maybe you should just avoid me?"
"We had tried that, remember?" he chuckled. "But I suffered more than when you're around."
"Don't worry. I'm not going to be the Peter Pan who doesn't want to grow up. I'll find my own happiness one day. Now, all I want to make sure is that you have your happiness."
"This is not my Neverland without you
This is never yours even though I love you first
I can hold you back here
But I can't hold your heart with me
So I'm letting you go
For you to have your own Neverland
These tears only flow when you don't see me
Your Peterpan here is alone
So, be happy for me, Wendy"
Eunhyuk gave me a pair of rings on my birthday last year. One of them was bigger than my size so I asked him about it.
"It's mine," he answered truthfully, making me confused. "On your next birthday, the date prohibition is over, Kyuri, so..."
"Will you please give it to me if you let me stay as your first and be your last?"
"Love, one word I want to say
Friend, one word I believe in
Now that we're here, we know what love is (what love is)
And sometimes friends are only meant to be friends
So we should let go (let go)
Goodbye, goodbye Neverland"
After all the obstacles, hurt, tears, my friendship stays strong with Yoseob. We came to understand that true friends can't be compared with love or other feelings.
Every relationship is precious.
Although my life could be just fine if I accept everything as it is, it's a Neverland where I run away from reality.
Therefore I have decided, even if the world could probably frown at a news in the next three months, I'll be just fine.
With Eunhyuk who stays with me. With Yoseob who supports me.
I've decided.
I'll give the ring to Eunhyuk on my next birthday.
"Cause I am forever yours"
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