Baekhyun closed his eyes and clenched his fists. There was no way he was going to Donghae's wedding as Chanyeol's date. No way. Never had Chanyeol ever asked him to be his date. He couldn't say yes.

"No way."

"But I'll make you. You know you can't say no to me."

Baekhyun shook his head and looked away, shoving off Chanyeol's hands. "Please don't touch me. I don't understand why you do these stuff."

The taller one watched the way Baekhyun sat on the bleachers. "I don't think I understand why either..." he muttered, trailing behind Baekhyun.

Baekhyun bit his lips. "Never ask me to be your date."

Chanyeol didn't say anything as he watched Baekhyun push his wet hair back.

"Your dad ruined us. You remember our father's being best friends right? Well, I do and your dad's just like you, backstabbing his best friend. I don't know the whole story, but Chanyeol," Baekhyun looked into his eyes, "we have to move on. It's time to say goodbye."

There were many goodbyes Chanyeol had witnessed, but this one made his heart clench. He's been with Baekhyun since forever and he thought that they would never say that word. Goodbye was a dangerous word.

"Don't just say that when you don't mean it. Look Baekhyun, there are things I wished I would have changed, but you know I don't regret blackmailing you. We've talked about this before, but there was something I think I forgot. Let's talk in my car. The rain is killing us."

Baekhyun looked at the wet field and the ball at the corner of the field. He sighed. They both walked to Chanyeol's car and it felt a lot warmer. Warmth was something he needed.

He looked up at Chanyeol next to him, realizing how different they were. They thought differently, they dressed differently, the choices they made were different, and the feelings were different. Almost everything about them was different. It was just too obvious.

"Baekhyun, we've been through tough times together Baek and we've been through happy times. I do think you're important to me, although I did screw you over, but that's just something I did because I'm a horrible person. There were times when you were always there and I needed you out and there were those times when I when I hated seeing your face. We aren't always together and we aren't even dating, but I just think that you should totally kick my when you want to. I'm serious. So I'm being totally honest when I say I have mixed feelings about you."

Baekhyun laughed. Really loud. What the was this er saying? "Mixed feelings? Chanyeol, you're not the best with words, but I'm not either. But having mixed feelings for me? When you see me, do you want to kiss me or run away?"

Chanyeol shook his head, leaning his back on the seat. "That's not what I mean." He actually doesn't know what he means or what he's talking about.

"Chanyeol... How do you really feel about me?"

Chanyeol wants to laugh and cry at the same time, because he's been asked this before and he still doesn't know the answer. He turned his head and looked down at the smaller. Baekhyun looked back and they stared at each other, but something was different. Chanyeol just didn't know what. Baekhyun was special to him and they weren't even in love, not yet anyway. He didn't exactly know.

He punched the steering wheel. "I don't in know okay?" He looked at Baekhyun. "If I did, I wouldn't be like this."

Baekhyun's heart clenched. "What did you say? How do you not know how you feel about me?" Okay that really did hurt.

"Hey, I don't think it's a big deal because feelings change over time. But the question is, how do you feel about me?"

Baekhyun froze. Goddammit, that was a hard question. He turned his face slightly away because he admit it was a little overwhelming thinking about those stuff and he totally regret asking. But was it really that hard to talk about those feelings? There were those times when all he wanted was to be with Chanyeol and have his lips on his. Chanyeol made him feel things he never wanted to feel. He just felt so confused because it was Chanyeol for god sake. The in Chanyeol who kissed him in his bedroom and ruined his life. The Chanyeol who cried when he got stuck on top of the ferris wheel and the one who used to give him piggy back rides when they were younger. He really liked the Chanyeol who he could always count on and not lie to him. 

"There were times when you made me feel something more when you uhh kissed me? Or when you say things. I don't know really. But when I look at you, I need to punch you. But you make me feel things that I can't express. I don't understand. I just really hate you."

Chanyeol raised his brows. Baekhyun just continued talking. "You aren't the Chanyeol I can count on anymore because of what you did. I thought I knew you better. You wanted me to sing. I sang and you weren't there to see it happen. You were never in control of me, but I felt like you were because you can be scary at times, but I try to ignore that. I don't get you is what I'm trying to say. Why don't I get you? Because you are mothering confusing."

"I'm sorry for making you feel like this Baek."

Baekhyun shook his head, scrunching up his face. "You aren't sorry. Why say it when you don't mean it?"

"Why don't you think I'm sorry?"

"Look, you're never sorry. Let's face it, this talk is not leading us anywhere. How long have we been sitting here?"

Chanyeol sighed and silence over took them once again. They sat there, in the car, just staring at each other. Chanyeol didn't feel the need to kiss the boy, and Baekhyun just felt tired. They both didn't know how to describe the atmosphere. There was no tension, just frustration probably.

"Is there anything you want to say?" Baekhyun asked after a few moments.

Chanyeol bit his plump lips. "I really don't know what I want to say because we're in a tight situation here. I don't think we both really know how we feel about each other." Chanyeol reached for Baekhyun's hands, holding it tight before sighing. "But whatever will happen in the future, I want you to know that you will always be important to me. You know I always say this and blah blah, but hear me out. You really are important, don't forget that."

Maybe he thought that everyone was ed because none of them had dates to the dance. All their relationships were ed up really. Kyungsoo wanted Chen and Xiumin to get back together, but Xiumin didn't want that. He and Jongin never really had a thing which pissed the heck out of him. Beakhyun and Chanyeol were so ed up because they didn't even know what was up with their relationship, considering Baekhyun and Taeyeon aren't even dating nor was Chanyeol was dating Tiffany or Yoona. Suho rejected Lay because Lay was a mothering little who didn't really like him. Luhan was still in love with that tall physco of a friend. Kris and Tao weren't even on talking terms.

He wondered how it came to this.

He asked himself if he should just ignore the fact that relationships are totally not worth it. Would he have ever "dated" Jongin if he wasn't dared? Probably not but then it was a good experience and he decided he wanted to destroy Jongin's brand new red car with a bat. He didn't hate Jongin, he just really kinda wanted to smack his face with a brick if he ever saw him. But he would also want to kiss the out of him. He admit Jongin was an incredible kisser and ughh.

He didn't think he would fall this hard. Whenever he saw he saw couples in the hallways, he wanted to knock his head against a wall and take a run. And that's exactly what he did when he saw Key and Jonghyun kissing during lunch. He threw away his lunch just as Baekhyun tried grabbing his untouched piece of chicken.

Baekhyun gave him a confused look and he just lost it. Maybe he wasn't good at holding onto his feelings.

"I need to be alone for awhile guys." Baekhyun and Luhan looked at each other as Kyungsoo walked out. When he saw Xiumin walking with a guy he didn't know, he kind of got mad.

"Hey Xiumin, who's this?" He interrupted them, not really caring about the situation.

Xiumin turned around and saw Kyungsoo walking towards him. "Hey Kyung. This is Jeongmin. You know he's on my swim team, right?"

Kyungsoo paused and looked at Jeongmin. He did look familiar. "Hi Jeongmin." He looked at Xiumin. "So why didn't you come hang out at lunch?"

Xiumin's lips formed a sad smile. "Oh, Luhan didn't tell you? We got into a fight."

Hearing Luhan and Xiumin getting into a fight was like hearing Kris playing soccer. They didn't go well together. "What happened?" He asked, pulling Xiumin to the side. They both watched Jeongmin smile at them before walking away.

Xiumin glanced at the cafeteria door before turning to Kyungsoo. "Can we not talk here?"

"Fine." Kyungsoo yanked his arm. "Let's go outside."

Being outside in the fresh air brought a smile to his lips. He always loved the winter scent of the season. He and Xiumin found a tree to sit under.

"So so happened to you guys?" Kyungsoo immediately asked.

Slightly pinching his nose, Xiumin said,"Well, it's pretty obvious. It's about Chen."

"I knew it. I shouldn't have asked. Look, I have to say what's on my chest. Have you noticed that everyone is having problems lately? I mean look at me and you, Suho and Lay, even Luhan or Baekhyun."

"Relationship problems? That's just life Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo slapped Xiumin's arm. "Besides that, we have the dance coming up and I don't think anyone is going to have a date."

"We don't need dates to have fun Kyung. Do you know why everyone's relationship is so messed up?"

"Uh no. Do you?"

"Because everyone is so ed up these days."

Kyungsoo moved his lips slightly. "I-"

"We can't do anything about these stupid relationship problems okay? You and Jongin broke up because it was a dare. You guys played it so well and when you guys split apart, you both don't seem to really care. You guys didn't even like each other. For Luhan, Sehun was in involved in the blackmailing and that made him hate him, although he was still in love with him. Baekhyun and Chanyeol already had a ed up relationship to start with because Chanyeol took his love and threw it in a hellhole. Chanyeol loved Baekhyun, but he was never committed because Baekhyun