I shrugged, the only honest answer I could give my father. “What are you watching?”

He wrapped his arm around me, and I settled in, leaning my body against his. “Casablanca,” he replied. “And the party?”

“I’m glad I went out.”

It was quiet, but I wasn’t listening to the movie at all. “I didn’t read it,” I answered his unasked question. “I can’t. If I do, I’m just going to make myself go crazy.” He was silent. “But I asked Erich to, and she bawled her eyes out. So I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t read it then, right?” I chuckled nervously.

“You really loved him, didn’t you?” He now asked.

“Love.” She said. “Daddy, I still love him. How is it possible to hurt so bad, but still love the person who did it to you? I know I’m still young, that there’s so much more to do in life, but…” my voice broke. “I don’t know what to do, Dad. I really don’t.”

He kissed my forehead, and I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, feeling a tear drop down my forehead. “That’s the thing about love, sweetheart. You never know what to do; it was just easier when there was a second person involved. We’ve all been there.

We spent the night watching the movie, how Casablanca got his happy ending. Why couldn’t love be like movies? You know, you meet, you fight, you break up and then you express your undying love and how it changed you and how you never want to be with anyone else and live happily ever after?

For the next couple of weeks, my life has become some sort of mundane routine. I woke up in the morning, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, did minimal make-up, drove myself to school – if I felt like it, I’d walk the couple of miles – went to each class – ignoring the whispering behind me – drove/walked home, did homework, ate dinner, had an hour-shower and then went to sleep.

I haven’t been out in six weeks, no parties – not even family – just locked myself in my own house. It was the only place where I felt safe now without him to protect me.

I spoke to little people as possible, just the necessities: parents, siblings, Erich, Mel and Beauty. I wouldn’t speak to anyone else.

The only thing I had to complain about my routine was the drawer. It was the top right-hand drawer in my dresser that taunted me every second I was in my room. Even when I was eating dinner downstairs, I felt it calling me. It was the drawer that held the letter. I locked it up in that drawer after Erich read it. Even at school, I was dreading coming home to face that locked drawer.

What was wrong with me? I was going crazy! I was scared of a drawer! Thank goodness that it was my birthday this weekend. At least it would be a couple of hours of distraction from the inside of my room. I was determined to be happy. I was turning one year older, I was becoming one year smarter. I needed to be happy. It was supposed to be a sign of a new year of life coming through and everything that had happened was in the past now. I needed to be happy, I kept telling myself.

I even decided to dress up a little. I went shopping the day before with my sister, and felt a little better. I forgot how therapeutic shopping was. But everything that happened was still lingering in the back of my mind.

It was a cool evening, with a full moon up ahead. I changed into my purple satin cocktail dress and curled my hair. By the time I was ready; I looked at my reflection and smiled. I started to recognize the girl in the mirror. But my eyes went back down to the drawer. I sighed, and put my hand on the handle, pulling it open. And then I remembered it was locked. I shut my eyes, “Breathe, Kim.” I told myself and the door bell rang.

I opened my eyes, and took a deep breath before making my way down the stairs. It was all my girlfriends. I hugged each and every one of them and they smiled at how transformed I looked from just a couple of weeks ago. “You look amazing! I love that dress!”

I missed hearing compliments. Most of them came from…no, I wasn’t going to think about him tonight. Or the nights coming after. It was a new year! Gerald is my past, and I am my future. I am no longer putting my life on hold for someone who left me to be miserable. I won’t give him that satisfaction.

I brought everyone to the living room and we ate pizza and watched movies. I didn’t want to do anything extravagant, I just needed….a distraction. After the movie, we had Italian food, and spoke about the most recent gossip in school.

And I laughed. I laughed hard. I laughed so hard for the first time in the longest time. I forgot what it felt like to have my sides hurt. I was such in a good mood that I turned up music and we just danced. I called my parents, and they gave us permission to go in the liquor cabinet. We didn’t exactly drink a lot, but it helped a lot, and the Champagne was too good to pass up.

It was about ten after ten, and that was when I started opening the presents. Mel gave me a friendship charm bracelet from Swarovski, and she signed Matt’s name on the card.

Beauty gave me a $100 gift certificate to the mall, and then a scrapbook on the side. She said this was the perfect time to begin writing down our memories since it’s our last year of high school.

Empress gave me a photo album with all our pictures since we were friends, and the most sweetest letter anyone could ever give me. It made me cry, but tears of joy instead of misery.

Erich, someone I’ve known for my entire life practically, gave me a necklace with five hearts with each of their names on it. And being the artist she is, she also created a picture mosaic of me with everyone’s pictures since I’ve known her. It was a huge canvas size that would take up most of the wall in my room.

I gave each of them a hug, and then took advantage of the scrapbook when we started taking random pictures of each other.

Soon after, the doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone else, and assumed it was more pizza we ordered – we weren’t exactly counting calories that night. I gave Mel my purse to pay the delivery guy, so she got up and opened the door.

***Third person narrative***

As Mel was looking through the purse, she opened the door. “Just one sec. How much do I owe you?”

“Melissa,” it was a deep voice.

Mel looked up and dropped the purse, scattering everything inside it on the floor. “Oh God,” she muttered. She bent down and began sliding everything back inside, her eyes wide in surprise.

She got up after a few moments with his help, and stared at him. “What are you doing? Does Kim know you’re here?” He was silent. “Gerald,” she spat at his name. “What are you doing here?!” She whispered.

“It’s her birthday. I just want to talk to her.” He said. “Two minutes, that’s it. I need to know if she’s okay.”

Mel sighed, “Hold on. I can’t deal with this.” She walked back into the living room where they were watching old videos of themselves when they were freshmen.

She walked to Erich and whispered in her ear, “I need help.”

Erich looked up at her worried expression, and followed her to the foyer. “What’s wrong? Gerald.” She said staring at Mel shrugging her shoulders. She walked to him and shut the door behind her. “What are you doing here?”

“I just want to talk to Kim for the last time. And then I’ll leave.”

“This isn’t exactly the best time, it’s her birthday.” Erich explained.

“Which is why I came. Look, I know she’s upset me, but I just want to give her the goodbye I’m sure she wants.”

Erich looked through the window which showed the living room. Kim was laughing. “Gerald, she hasn’t left the house since you left. Okay, this is the first time since she laughed, smiled even. I think she’s finally moving on and now you’re here to give her what she needed weeks ago? I don’t know if I can do that.”

Gerald looked through the window, and Kim’s eyes met his for second, then left and then came back again. She got off the couch and walked to the door, opening it. “Gerald?”

Everything she was working on tonight, even making progress on, all shattered like glass, right in front of her. She looked at Erich for an explanation. “I didn’t know he was coming. He says he wants to speak to you.” She said before going back into the house.

“I can’t. I’m sorry. Listen, I’m not trying to hurt you…” she laughed. “But I can’t. At least not right now. I’m sorry.” She said, opening the door.

“Kim,” he said in his desperate voice.

She squinted at the sound of her name coming through his lips. She turned to look at his disappointed face. “Happy Birthday.”

Kim’s lips curved into a slight smile. “Thank you.”

She went back inside, and Erich came back out. “How long are you staying here?” She asked him.

“Just for a few days. Everyone’s starting again, maybe I should too.” He explained. “Look, can you give this to her. It’s just something I thought she’d like to see. You can go with her if you’d like.” He handed her a ticket.

She looked at it confused, “Gerald, I know how much you love her. And I know how much she still loves you.” Erich smiled. Ever since reading his letter, she held a soft spot for him. “I’ll try to make her go, but that’s it. Be careful, Gerald. Take care of yourself.”

With that, he left.

I’M HOPING TO UPDATE THE OTHERS TONIGHT, AFTER WORK. NO PROMISES THOUGH. THANKS GUYS!