It was December 23 (MY BIRTHDAY, HEHE) and the snow began falling. Mommy, Daddy, Ate Twinkle and Lakam and JP were out doing Christmas shopping, so it was me and Gerald alone in the house. It’s been two months since that inevitable event on Mel’s party.

The house was dim with only the fireplace illuminating the dark room and our bodies keeping us warm. We were both on the floor, my back leaning against his body, and his arms wrapped around me loosely, but just enough to know I was safe.

I could feel his unshaven chin on my forehead, and once in awhile, his lips would touch me, sending shivers down my whole body. This was what I looked forward the most, just being together.

We hardly seen each other in the past couple of weeks, Jake’s ‘attacks’ have become more obvious, and Gerald needed to keep him at a safe distance. I remember Jake even came to school with a black eye, and when Ge came to pick me up, he had this wide grin on his face, so I knew where it came from. And I’d be lying if I said I felt bad for Jake; he had it coming. So when my parents who wants to stay home while the rest went out Christmas shopping, Gerald and I didn’t even think twice before volunteering.

“So you think your parents have any idea about us yet?” He asked, kissing my forehead.”

“Well, I don’t think they’re that brain dead. But since we haven’t seen each other in such a long time, they probably don’t,” I sighed.

He shook his head, “Hey, it’s not my fault we haven’t been together lately, it was your idea to not tell your parents, I just agreed because it’s what you wanted. And you’ve been busy with all your extra curricular activities.”

“I’m student body president, I have a lot of responsibilities I can’t just throw away because I have a boyfriend.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of wood burning and the romantic glow that was ignited. “What are you thinking about?” I asked him.

He sighed, “How good it feels to be with you.”

I laughed, “What a line!” I sat up removing my head off his chest and looking at him. “But you know what line I do want to hear…” I trailed off.

He chuckled, “I…love…” I held my breath smiling, “…spending time with you.”

I shook my head, “That’s…that’s not what I want to hear right now.”

“Hey, you didn’t say it either so I don’t understand why you’re getting so mad at me,” he retorted.

“Because the guy always goes first. If the girl says it first, the guy will run away.”

“Why do I need to say it when you already know how I feel?” I just stared at him. Of course I knew how he felt, but I still wanted it to come from his lips, I wanted to hear it. “Kim, you don’t need to hear it, you just have to believe I do.”

I looked down, blinking back tears. “How do I know? I bet you said it to your ex-girlfriend.”

The atmosphere was full of tension now. He sighed and sat back not staring at me now, “I bet you said it to Jake.”

I hated that I started this fight, “You’re right, I did say it to Jake, but it doesn’t mean I meant it. I never felt a fraction of what I feel for you with Jake. The way I feel about you…” I chuckled. “Whenever I see you, all I want to do is go straight into your arms and stay there forever. When I hear your voice, it’s like a song I never want to stop,” I laughed, and looked away, not wanting him to see my tears. “Just the sound of your name being said, it brings this type of calm inside of me. The feel of your hands on me – your touch – I get shivers everywhere, I tremble like it’s the first day I met you.” He put his hand on the back of neck pulling my face closer to his, our foreheads touching. “I just want to know that you feel the same way. And considering you can read my mind, and I’m always thinking about it; I don’t have that same luxury.” I chuckled.

He laughed too. His cheeks grazed my skin. I put my hand on his arm which was still holding me close. My closed fluttered closed, enjoying the feeling of skin against skin. His lips grazed mine for a moment, but long enough for making me want more. “‘Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever…and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you.’”

I pulled away from him and raised my eyebrows, “You took that from a movie.”

He smirked, and my back softly, “Nothing gets by you, does it?”

I didn’t answer that question, “Ge, I’m serious. It’s been two months, and you know how I feel about you. I feel like a fool because I’m the only one who wears my heart on my sleeve.”

He pulled me back against him and pressed his lips against mine with a hunger I never experienced with him before. “You think you’re the only whose wearing their heart on their sleeve? Kim, you have no idea what it is that you do to my heart. Your face is in my mind all day long; your voice fills my ears. You’re right, I did give my heart away once.” I looked down again. He pulled it up with his index finger so I could meet his longing gaze. “To you. Kimmy, I love you.” My mouth curved into a small curve. “I know I didn’t say it, but I doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. I’ve loved you since the first time I saw all those years ago. All my other girlfriends…” I stared up at him, telling him to stop while he was ahead, and mentioning all his other girlfriends was definite no-no. He laughed, “…Were just substitutes until we saw each other again.”

I pulled his arms around me. “Can this night just last forever?” I sighed, settling next to him.

“Well, it is Christmas.”

I smiled, “Yeah it is.”

“Wait a second.” Without letting go completely, he just reached over and took something out. “It’s not much, but it put a lot of thought into it.”

I sat up and took the box from his hand. It was a bracelet made out of sea shells. “Oh my gosh.”

“I know it’s corny, and you probably got more lavish gifts from Jake…”

I shook my head, kissing him. “I love it! I’d take this any day than any other gift. I love it!” I kissed him again. “Okay my turn!” I took it out of my sweater pocket. “I didn’t wrap it. Sorry,” I laughed.

He sighed and opened the box. “I know it’s not really your style, but I though that way you could always have me close to you.” I kissed the side of his neck. It was a dog tag with my signature engraved. “Sorry it’s not much…or sentimental.”

“Anything from you is perfect.” He kissed me. He took my hand and put the bracelet on. In between each shell was a shiny jewel that could be mistaken for a diamond. He kissed my wrist and then let my hand down.

I leaned in and kissed him. His hand returned to the back of my neck. They grew eager and his lips drifted from my lips, down to my neck. My goodness, this felt so good. Our lips moved in unison once again. His hands moved down my back, and then back to the front of my sweater. He began moving the zipper down, and the next thing I knew the sweater was gone. Then he began working the buttons on my t-shirt.

No doubt I loved him, but was I ready to do this. It was embarrassing enough to actually admit I was a , but it was more embarrassing to admit it to the person who was making the moves on you, especially after declaring his love for you. My heart began racing, and I could feel the cool breeze on my bare skin making goose bumps form on my skin.

He undid the last button, and his hands went onto my waist. Oh my goodness, was this really happened? His strong hands fit my curves perfectly, but I wasn’t sure I was ready. I know half the population in school lost it already, but I didn’t want it to be with just anyone. I wanted it to be special, and in the middle of my living room with parents due back any moment wasn’t exactly the special moment I always imagined it would be.

He noticed this because he pulled away, “I’m sorry.” He said.

I chuckled in complete and utter embarrassment, “I’m sorry.” I began to do up my buttons, and pulled my sweater on. “I just…”

“You’re not ready.” I didn’t answer. I couldn’t bear to look into his eyes. He laughed, “Don’t be embarrassed. When you’re not ready, you’re not ready.”

“I just, I do want to, just…” I shook my head, not being able to complete the sentence. I bit my bottom lip, “I haven’t…I’ve never been with anyone before.” I emphasized the word ‘been.’ “This is so embarrassing to talk about with your boyfriend.”

He zipped up my sweater for me, and cupped my face. “Don’t be embarrassed with me. I love you, and nothing’s going to change it. I actually find it cute, you know, my sweet, innocent Kimmy.” He smiled. “Nothing will happen until you’re ready, okay? And when you are…well, we’ll do it on your terms, okay? I’m not going anywhere.” He planted a kiss on my forehead.

“You’re great, you know that? What did I do to deserve you?”

“I ask that question everyday.”

So maybe that night wasn’t the night, but I knew that night would come, and I knew it would perfect. So in the meantime, we’d just have to settle for incredible make-out sessions, which were extremely hot and incredible.