He kept rubbing his eyelids with a little towel, without moving away his eyes from the reflection of a suffering boy. I’m exaggerating. Drama-boy. That’s what you are. Once more his hands passed through his face, from forehead to chin, lingering above his beautiful lips. Put yourself together, stupid. And go out as if nothing happens. Because, Nothing Happens! 

This way he could somehow encourage himself, and before getting out, he rehearsed 4 times his gestures and walking, the way he was going to behave so they notice nothing odd.

There was a time in High School where he had to do something similar to this now… A girl he had a crush on was sitting on a bench at the park; he was passing by, and he saw her, sitting alone. The perfect stimulus. The perfect situation. The perfect timing. The perfect day and the perfect choice of clothes. You did it Cho!

Something had to go wrong, hadn’t it? It was too perfect. The moment he approached her, she made a ‘mtch’ sound, which disconcerted Kyuhyun because he thought he would surprise her. She already knew he was coming, somehow.

He said “Hi” and she said an annoyed “hi” in response, not amused at all. He swallowed before continuing, “I-I, would you lik-” which she stopped with her hand and said “Sorry, Kyuhyun-ssi, I have no time right now..I just,” and Kyuhyun’s doe-eyes got even bigger; his hands in fists around the edge of his t-shirt. Something had to be made to light up the mood, because it was sooooo heavy. “uhm, well-“ Kyuhyun tried to do as he thought, but the girl didn’t seem to want it that way, “Oh, I remember now!, I have a dentist appointment for today! See you at school” and she left, leaving a thoughtful Kyuhyun standing straight. A full minute after, he felt a cool breeze against his cheeks, against his wet cheeks. Then he knew his emotions let his tears fall without his consent. And this would bring him problems later.

Now was ‘Later’.

The door opened little by little, making a really slow shriek. A pair of big, open eyes peeked throughout it. There’s nobody… Or so he thought.  Then he managed to get his whole head out of the aperture; there was somebody: Heechul; till sitting in the couch, his eyes examining a fashion magazine.

-“Oh. ” He cursed under his breath, making sure nobody heard him. Well, as you rehearsed it. Go. The door went full-open and he walked out of the bathroom as casual as a girl in a fashion store. Nothing to fear.

Shindong passed and bumped into him, apologizing quickly. Sungmin was behind him; they seemed to be playing or something like that, their faces were smiley and childish. He wondered if that scene would be possible someday, but with him and another member.

Well, back to the issue. Pretending. It doesn’t hurt anymore, I’m not panicked anymore, Nobody noticed or so I hope. Everything’s normal. Kangin was in the kitchen, eating a sandwich in company of Donghae. Eunhyuk was training, because the dance room had the lights on and music could be heard from there.

Kyuhyun walked calmly, directly and confidently across the lounge and to his laptop, which was in the small table next to the chesterfield. He sat, he took it and placed it in his lap, he opened it and turned it on. Leeteuk passed by and didn’t take a look at him. He succeeded. Nobody realized. Yes!

His session began where he left yesterday. ‘Super Junior members’ was written in the searcher. The page he entered hadn’t updated him. He was now part of Super Junior. But it seems the world hasn’t accepted him entirely.

Though the world is not what he’s concerned about, but the group itself. I have to get to know them and get them to know me, but if I do, will they still reject me? What will I do then?...

Heechul was still in his magazine, but if you asked him what was it about, the article, he wouldn’t know a damn thing. His senses were all in the younger boy sitting across the lounge. Since he stepped in the room, Heechul his sense on him. It’s not that he’s a stalker, but the boy really had him intrigued, Damn!

The nervousness he sensed before, at the corridor. He seemed like crying and still, was joking and laughing kindly; but when he jerked his arm off Heechul’s grip, it didn’t match at all.

They say Heechul’s stupid, just good in math and numbers. But the guy is actually a genius. Really observant. So he took an interest in the newbie and his weird actions that didn’t match. His enormous eyes examined the Maknae as he flipped the pages of the magazine, just to make it believable, which wasn’t really working (although it was for Kyuhyun at that moment).

Kyuhyun was fixing the hair around his ears so it remained in its place,  Heechul thought it looked kind of y, but not a manly y, more like a clumsy y, since his hands were skinny and his body lanky (according to Heechul’s perspective) not to mention his fleshy and plump legs.

It seemed he was now normal. Of course. Nothing happened. Or so he thought until he spotted the maknae’s eyes taking glances every now and then to check up on Heechul, it appears that Kyuhyun noticed Heechul was suspecting something or maybe just peeking on the Maknae to know what he was doing.

Kyuhyun really hoped it was just that.

Only plain curiosity, because the thing that scared him was for them to know about his little lows. He had to be perfect in order to enter their circle, if there was any chance of it.

The newbie quickly fixed his position so that Heechul could see his now all-clean face, and know that I’m perfectly fine, hyung. Nothing that you all do to me affects me.

Blinking a little in pride he continued his reading about Super Junior:

ELF: (Ever Lasting Friends) They are the fandom of this group, which according to the band, are their world, and will be always the most important thing for them. “We would be nothing without them” Leeteuk.

Elf… Our- I mean!.. their fans…

After some minutes looking at the same 3 letters he finally let out a sigh that had been holding up in his throat all the time since he got out of the bathroom. His left hand followed his tiredness and placed itself over his outworn eyes, rubbing gently upon them while he was thinking of the Elf and Super Junior’s connection, that made Leeteuk say such a thing as “we would be nothing without them”. Corny as heck…

When his hand got back to its place in Kyuhyun’s thigh, his eyes opened and the first thing they saw was the keyboard, but something had casted a shadow over it. Before he could bring himself to look up and see who it was, the person knelt in front of him and gave him an intense look in the eyes, before adding the missing piece of Kyuhyun’s concern: “Can I ask you something?”