I got two letters for you
One of them is F
And the other one is U
'Cause what you gotta do
Is go get yourself a clue

- FU, Miley Cyrus

His pathetic mind must be playing some tricks at him again.

This cannot simply happen—this is far from reality—this is impossible. There is no way after seven bloody years of disappearance and silence, like in a blink of an eye, the person that caused him too much misery and sadness is suddenly standing in front of him, a little bewildered too, in his own skin and flesh—Junhyung is staring at him with obvious shock and confusion.

Glad to know he is not the only one.

Hyunseung wanted to do and say a lot of things—he wanted to ask a lot of things. Why? Why? Why? What is happening now? Did his poor mind finally give up and crossed the thin borderline between sanity and insanity?

He must be insane because this is ing ridiculous!

What made him think that he will be alright after this? He is not ready—never will be. But this awful situation leaves him no choice but to face what is or rather who is in front of him. Honestly, he wanted t ran away instead. He is so scared to accept that this is reality.

He can barely grasp how ing real the current situation is until Hara broke off their trance.

His surroundings were unconsciously blocked with anyone aside from the two of them and the man that he longed and yearn so much for so long.

And Hyunseung is not sure if he should thank her or be glad that his mind is finally off from wandering that somehow the person he saw is nothing but a pigment of his imagination.

However, it wasn’t—he wasn’t.

Junhyung is still there. He remained intact and very real. The confusion and surprised look on his face from earlier is completely vanished and all could be seen is a cold and stoic looking from the said man.

What did exactly happen?

“Junhyung-oppa, I like you to meet our dance instructor. This is Jang Hyunseung.” Then Hara turned at him with an innocent smile. “Hyunseung-oppa, meet my fiancé Yong Junhyung.”

It immediately made him feel nauseated.

He suddenly felt weak as if his soul has been taken out of him.

Of all people that could be their dance teacher, why did it have to be him?

“It’s nice to meet you, Hyunseung-ssi.” Junhyung greeted him in a monotonous voice.

It was so long since he heard that voice and he longed for it so much.

But Junhyung’s stares are saying otherwise. They were like pleading and asking for something and longing for someone and are very confusing.

Nice to meet me? That is all you have to say after all the bloody years you left me? Well ing nice to meet you too!

If only he could lash out his frustrations then it would be easier to know why Junhyung is doing a scheme of not knowing him at all.

But he also saw Hara smiling brightly at them—politely asking for them to get along.

So it is because of her?

Somehow he really wanted to collapse after figuring out the puzzles. He felt so weak and helpless. It was because of her, he knew more than enough. Junhyung left him for her. Of course! His bloody genius mind must be functioning again because it all made sense now.

Junhyung wanted a normal life and he can’t have it with him.

He deserves some bloody wife at his side and some bloody children to be happy and normal. It is a typical dream of every man. And Hara is perfect. Albeit Hyunseung can even find a single flaw. They simply belong to each other.

A man is made for a woman.

And he now understands everything. He finally got his answers and hell they bloody hurt so much. It hurts so much than before because right now he is much aware that he is the one with the flaw. That his whole existence is an abomination and he doesn’t deserve any ounce of happiness in his life. It all made sense how his life is a complete and utter lies. He doesn’t know anymore what to believe—who to believe because he finds it hard to do so within his self.

He felt like a total crap.

He thought he will never cry again but the sudden realization hit him so hard it was almost impossible to stop his tears from falling. His heart is clenching so much and with a massive hole of emptiness. It hurts so much. The rejection hurts so much. Bloody expectation hurts so much. Everything is just aching. His whole body and soul is in pain. This is even a perfect timing to end his pathetic life if only not for the stress therapy he had undergone two years ago. Somehow it taught him how to cope up in any uncompromised situation and to stay strong despite the bitterness and cruelty of reality.

He promised to never do that again and so he won’t. He promised to his self, to his mom, to Geurim, to Dujun, to Gikwang, to Jiyong, to his students and to all who cared for him.

He was much stronger than before.

But he never promised to stay.

A white envelope on top of his night stand caught his blurry vision filled with tears.

It was back of those times when he was so desperate that he even thinks of following Junhyung in New York. He tried so hard to search for jobs and fortunately (?) he got an acceptance letter last week from SM Academy. They are in need of a dance instructor and his skills and resume did a wonderful thing for him to get a job offer in that prestige school. He was so glad that finally someone had acknowledged him but he thought it already came too late. He thought it will be useless now since he is so happy with having his own dance studio but certain circumstances always happen and perhaps he could use this as a perfect getaway from everything that’s hurting him in this damn city. He needed to move on—start anew and forget about his ugly past—forget about bastard Yong Junhyung.

It may be hard for him to leave his life here considering his family, his friends, his students, his studio but he badly needed to do it in order to survive again. He needed a second chance and he already wanted to end this torture of still loving someone who absolutely doesn’t deserve any ounce of it.

It was his only chance—his only hope.

Perhaps life in New York can be a little kind to him.

So does he make his decision now.

With a big and warm smile, a very much opposite of his current mood