You are surrounding all my surroundings
Sounding down the mountain range of my left-side brain
You are surrounding all my surroundings
Twisting the kaleidoscope behind both of my eyes
And I'll be holding on to you

- Holding Onto You, Twenty One Pilots

[Junhyung's POV]

It has been three weeks since Hyunseung and I got officially together and what else can I say—our relationship is magnificent. Probably because I have an extraordinary boyfriend, whom I love the most. It felt like we have been together for a longer time. Though I kinda feel guilty that we had a little too sooner. But I never regret that. I was just thinking that maybe now he thought of me as a bastard that’s only after his body but could you really blame me? Really? At least it only happened once. And we are still together so for the record, we are safe so hooray!

The coast has also been clear with dilemmas and no signs of Dujun’s threats either had come. Not that I do not trust my cousin but it still more peaceful to be cautious. We ended our misunderstanding after I came home from that dinner night when I met Hyunseung’s mom the past week. We apologize to each other and apparently he was just scared that I may hurt my bambi. Yes, he doesn’t trust me and it took me a lot of promises that I will never intentionally hurt Hyunsueng. But to crap the bull and shut his bickering, I agreed. Not to satisfy him, I would just never cause pain to Hyunseung no matter what.

I am not perfect but I would like to be with Hyunseung. If being the good guy is what it takes to make him stay with me, you know I will not have any second thoughts to comply that. He is everything that I want and I won’t ever let him go. Unless he will not want me anymore. Everything is up to him and he matters most to me. I don’t know that I have this side in me. Never did I expect that I would go this far for someone—that I am more willing to do anything for him. I will offer everything to him as long as he wants me to and as long as I can. You know I really don’t mind.

I simply want to love Jang Hyunseung, with all of my heart.

And the past three weeks has been wonderful. We almost see each other everyday, a pro for being classmates. And during weekends, I see to it that I take him somewhere or just hanging around in my place doing anything that can caught our attention. I even taught him how to play guitar. He struggled but he is doing fine. I can see that he has gotten close with my band mates too. He said before that he doesn’t like mingling with other people but my band mates are not making it hard for him. Yes, even Dujun. Apart from Dongwoon, he is the most friendly towards Hyunseung. Of course I know why. And it doesn’t need to be out.

This will be the first weekend that I will not spend with Hyunseung though. He said he had to do something and I should just concentrate more on our practice since the battle is to be held during our school’s winter festival. Not to brag my skills, but I’ve been playing my guitar since I was eight and doing a gig in front of everyone is what I dreamt for. But that change when Hyunseung came into my life. In the past, I only care about being big one time in the music industry. To experience how fame and money will make me live my life to the fullest. I was such an ambitious person but I happen to met the most beautiful person in the world. I don’t want that kind of future anymore. It just made me realize how of a fool I am for wanting something like that because if you ask me now if what I want to happen in the future: As long as Hyunseung is with me, I really don’t care.

I am being ridiculous but I am damn serious. I am so into him that sometimes it scares the out of me. Because I just feel so strong for him. So strong that I don’t trust my self if I can ever live without him. The thought alone is terrifying me—is killing me—will surely kill me.

“Yo! Junhyung!” I was startled by my thoughts when Dujun was suddenly in front of my view, throwing some paper bags in the table, obviously serving another take out for dinner.

We just finished our band practice and I am practically famished but got sidetracked with my thinking of my loving bambi.

“Regular or garlic rice?” I heard Dujun asking again, now taking out the food from the paper bags.

“Regular.” I replied timidly.

“Are you seriously moping because Hyunseung is not with you? Chill dude, it is just for a day and it’s not like you’re not seeing him tomorrow.”

“I won’t.” I answered him shortly again.

“Why is that?” he asked me with raising his one eyebrow while digging his food.

“He didn’t actually tell me why. He just said that he needed to do some stuff.”

“Ah, you’re keeping things to each other now I see. It is not healthy for a relationship you know.”

I sensed that he is trying to provoke me to argue with him. He wants another fight huh.

“I trust him.” I said while staring at him intensely. I want to intimidate him and get my message that he doesn’t make any sense to me.

“Whatever. If you say so.” Dujun quickly shrugged off the sensitive topic and focus more about our coming battle this winter.