Try this on, straitjacket feeling so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was hell but today I'm fine without you

- Straitjacket Feeling, The All American Rejects

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was because of that constant beeping sound that made him first use his senses that were long gone in use after a while. He thought we wouldn’t be able to do that anymore but why it is suddenly like he is functioning? He means like his body is starting to function again. It confused him because somehow he can feel that he is still alive.

But why?

Within his human instinct, he managed to slowly flutter his eyes open and the brightness of his surroundings is what first greeted his vision. It hurt him for a while to get accustomed but gradually he still handled.

The confusion is still lingering, just roaming around the corners of his mind and giving him thoughts of possibility that he survived and aided with help at near point?

The pure white surrounding made him thought differently. Maybe this could be heaven and he was really gone from the world. But don’t heaven banns people like him? Those depressed ones who ended up killing their hopeless selves in the end?

The beeping sound from earlier is still present which made him think about his previous guess. Following his guts, he decided to follow where the sound came from.

It was clearer and louder on his left side.

He slightly turned his neck on the said side and saw what he guessed was a machine? It has some curve lines on the screen and a symbol of a heart is blinking. Also, a set of numbers are present on the screen and at the end it has some wires connecting to somewhere. He followed thoroughly until it reached on top of his breathing chest.

He was so right all along.

He was in a frickin’ hospital! He is not supposed to be here in the first place!

He was nothing but a big failure and shame! He was so frustrated that unconsciously he moved faster and loud than usual, just a thin thread of difference left in him before he will completely become hysterical from the outcome of his plan.

Hyunseung began shouting “WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!” Immediately gathering the attention of three pairs of eyes inside the room.

“WHY DID YOU SAVE ME?!” He added as he get up and sit straightly as if he didn’t just come from a very critical situation. He started wailing his arms on the air as if he wanted to fight someone then removed all of the tubes connected to his body (the electrodes from his chest and the oxygen mask hanged on his face) luckily the IV remained intact before he slumped back harshly on his bed. But he is still not calming down as his breathings are still shallow and hard.

Dujun wanted to hold him in his arms instead but he knew well Hyunseung needs space. He pressed the emergency button instead knowing that they need the assistance of the medical team now.

Hyunseung caught his stare and in an instant he began frantically shouting again. “I KNOW IT WAS YOU! GOD I HATE YOU! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO INTERFERE?!” the man on the bed glared at Dujun but deep set in his beautiful doe eyes were pleas of mercy and acceptance that he was so tired.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND DIE?!” And now those doe eyes were shining with clear waters, continuously flowing unto his pale cheeks.

“Hyunseung dear..” Mrs. Jang speaks for the first time, still recovering from the sudden outburst of her son while hugging Geurim.

“I want to die..” Hyunseung’s voice suddenly dropped a tone down volume when he noticed that voice. “You should’ve let me..” He added as if he was begging for his death to come soon.

The doors were open and three persons came in together. Two were men in their white uniforms which obviously were the nurses and a woman on a white coat who is Hyunseung’s attending physician.

Very much aware of the commotion, one of the nurses injected something in his thank-god-still-intact-iv while the other nurse remained near at his side as if to catch Hyunseung who went out like a light after a few seconds. They placed him back carefully in a comfortable position and also tucked in his blanket to prevent him of the cold. The side rails were securely locked up and they strictly advised for the family to never keep it down.

“We sedate him for quite a time and we hope he wouldn’t be hysterical the next time he wakes up.” The woman in a white coat, who is apparently Hyunseung’s doctor said calmly.

“Can I talk to any family member?” She asked.

“I’m the mother.” Mrs. Jang stood up from where she and Geurim rested for a while before the chaos happened, slowly her cheeks from her stains of tears.

“It won’t take for a while.”

Mrs. Jang nodded and soon they’re off outside leaving only Dujun and Geurim inside with a sleeping Hyunseung and the two other nurses.

“Just press the emergency button again if something similar will happen.” One of them talked before soon they dashed off the room too.

Dujun was in so much agony after witnessing Hyunseung going berserk. He wanted to kill a certain person right now if only he