You Are My Desire

Our Love Story

Youngmin's point of view

 

Her tears were glistening under the dim lamp light as I watched them drip slowly. Pulling away, she stood up, her voice quivering weakly. "It's too cruel…" I felt my body become numb, unable to understand what was happening.

 "Why did you have to come into my life?" Her words were pained, regretful. I felt a prickling sensation in the center of chest as I watched her with wide eyes. " Hayoung?" I questioned.

 " How am I supposed to forget…when all you do is make my heart hurt this much?"  She whispered. Her eyes were distant, as if she was talking to herself, rather then me.

 Slowly, I began to realize what she had meant.

………………………………………………………....

 

Hayoung's point of view

It was already too late to stop. I had crossed the boundary that my heart had drawn. The line that separated me from my desires, from my selfish wanting, it collided against my heart, spilling and gushing out like a flood. "I love you this much… and yet…." My voice broke in a soundless mute, unable to continue.

 I turned, unable to face Youngmin. My body trembled when I  suddenly felt his hands wrap around me from behind, his lips brushing against my neck.

  No… Don't. Stop making my heat race any faster. 

 Shutting my eyes, I prayed for this beating sensation to rest.

Ba-thump… Ba-thump…Ba-thump...

 ………………………………………………………....

 

Youngmin's point of view

 Her skin was soft, warm and scented like perfume. I felt my fingers grow hot at just the touch of her ivory skin. Something in me began craved for her, my darkly desperate, and cowardly self. I held onto her tightly, refusing to let go, afraid she would disappear.

 I couldn't believe it. No matter how many times it repeated in my mind, I couldn't begin to explain how I felt. The thought of this warmth, this comfort, vanishing from my side scared me. Somewhere in my heart, I knew it was impossible to live without her.How was I supposed to just let her go and expect to move on? When she had already pulled and twisted my heart this painfully, unable to return it to normal.

 Bitting my lip, I buried my arms against her shoulders, as I closed my eyes. Her pulsing neck was feverish as it radiated softly onto my fingertips. " It's your fault…" My words ached as I spoke what my heart wanted to say but kept hidden.

 She gently pulled away, facing me. Her eyes wide, were bright and glittering behind her long black eyelashes, which was inches away. " How did you…" She asked, shocked. I looked away, my chest burning. " I know everything." I said softly, slowly gazing up at Hayoung.

…………………….

 A long second passes when suddenly the flicker in her eyes disappeared, and instead was replaced by a dimming glow. Pulling away from my hold, she stepped back, distancing herself.

 " I'm sorry…." I have never seen such sorrow in her eyes.  There was no hope in them. " I... never wanted it to be this way."

 ……………………………………………………….....

 

Hayoung's point of view

 It began to make sense when I thought about it. Suddenly distancing away, avoiding me whenever he could, it was everything I feared. He had found out I was Han Yoo Jin's daughter.  He had known I was planning to disappear from the start, like a fairy tale where he would eventually wake up by himself, without a trace of my existence.

 It was supposed to be easy… I was going to disconnect myself from what I truly felt, to lie, to pretend that I would be fine. As I gazed into Youngmin's dark brown eyes, I felt my fake smiles trembling, my legs quivering. There was nothing I could do, and yet I had that foolish idea of perhaps somewhere in this world, we belonged together.

 The past months, I had discovered so much about myself, about who I was, but I also discovered the weakness of my heart. The one person that made me this way, the one person that held complete control of the beating mass in my chest… Youngmin.

 It had always been him. His bright white smile, his glowing blonde hair. There were all beautiful memories I kept secret, memories that I thought of as just images of what I would remember as part of my past. I wondered when it became to the point where it wasn't enough, where I needed more, where I wanted more.

………………………………………………………………..

 

Youngmin's point of view

Taking her hand, I held it gently between my fingers. Thin and shining, the silver ring glistened softly as I remembered the pure white snow that fell in the garden. "What I said then," I touched the engraving of the ring carefully. " I meant it." She stared at me, her expression unreadable.

 I took a second before continuing. I felt myself blushing like a foolish child.  " I will wait for you." It was true. It didn't matter that she was Han Yoo Jin's daughter, and nor did it matter that she didn't know who she was,  but what did matter was the fact that she continued to suffer alone. How could I convince her that I was right there? That all she needed to do was reach out.

 Once again, I gazed into her warm hazel eyes, entranced by the depth of her scarred and mysterious soul.

 " …. Don't go." I whispered, my voice weak and stripped by the longing. Even if I had to throw away my pride, even if I had to beg, it didn't matter to me. I needed her.  " Stay with me."

 …………………………………………………………………..

 

Hayoung's point of view

Was it really all right to love him? Did I have the right to say I wanted to be with him, even though I caused so much grief to the ones I loved. His hand was large against mine as I studied his long and pale fingers tracing the words of the silver ring. I blushed, remembering what Youngmin had said in that pure white garden. Back then, if I was honest, it didn't seem real. How could someone like him? Someone like the twins… how could they fall for me? I wasn't as famous or as beautiful as Marie.. so why?

 Like a flash back, the images of these past months raced like the wind. The centennial… the log cabin… the hospital,all these precious memories were the highlight of my dull life, the life back when I was repeating each day at the orphanage, without purpose or goals.

 Youngmin… Kwangmin. They both gave me the will to want to live, to want to try again in this world, but it was Youngmin that made me want to learn how to love.  Before, I was afraid of it, not knowing what it was. Even as a young child, I never understood how to love something, but Youngmin…. He made it possible for my frozen heart to thaw, letting others in.

 " ….Stay with me." These words unlocked something deep inside. As if I was subconsciously searching for something to pull me back, I felt my barriers shatter as I stared into his eyes. " Youngmin…" I couldn't say anything. It didn't make sense.

 How was he still able to look at me so clearly, even after finding out I was planning to abandon him. Why was he not angry? Instead, he held me even tighter, refusing to let go. This wasn't how it supposed to happen…. He needed to tell me to leave, to say he'll be fine, so then… I could leave without regrets.

 But if he kept staring at me with that pained expression, how was I supposed to refuse?

 Perhaps, I really was blind. Oblivious by my own conclusions, I cornered myself, forcing myself to believe there was nothing I could do, but… could it be that I was wrong?

 Was it really all right to be with him?

 ……………………………………………………..

 

Youngmin's point of view

 

There has been moments where I wondered what would have changed if I had not met Hayoung. I knew I would never have to face this sort of painful torture in my chest, but I also knew I would not have felt anything. Before, I cared only for myself and my brother. Even with my brother, we were never truly open to one another. Both of us, we felt inferior as being twins. Having the same face, things no longer became mine or his. No one could distinguish us apart, and no one could recognize out individual personalities.. it was always " the twins."

 But Hayoung… she was the first one to see me as Youngmin. For the first time, I didn't need to have my brother to feel whole. With her, I felt as if I was an individual, a separate person. If I lost her, I knew in a matter of time, the line that distinguished Kwangmin and I would blur until we once again just known as twins. 

 Entranced by my thoughts, I was hypnotized by my longings. Pulling her close, her breath brush against my cheek as I felt myself become bold. Startled, she tried to step back when I held her firmly. I felt like an animal, drowning in my desires, my own temptations.

 I trapped her against the wall, holding up my arms as a cage.

 No….I heard a whispering voice in my head. Control yourself. My throat burned as my inner self tried to contain the beast releasing himself. Don't do this. The voice pleaded. Control yourself.

 Bitting my lip, I clenched my fist in frustration. I knew what I was doing was wrong…

 Lowering my arms, I felt the fire in my throat pressing against the roof of my mouth as Hayoung stared at me, with unreadable expression. Forcing my body to move, I began to step back when she suddenly grabbed the end of my shirt. Taken aback, I froze at her touch.

 …………………………………………………..

 

Hayoung's point of view

 Dear God… I felt my heart praying softly.

 I know I do not deserve him, I know my longings are selfish and reckless, but… please forgive me.

 All this time, I had been pulling back, afraid of what would happen once I let go of my defenses. Coming to this school, leaving the orphanage… I wasn't supposed to fall in love, and yet…

 I gazed at Youngmin, who was surprised by my sudden hold. The room, quiet and motionless, echoed the sound of our heartbeats as I reached forward. Pulling close to him, I felt my self blushing, my skin boiling at his touch.

 I thought I could do this alone. I thought as long as I controlled my heart, it'd be fine… but I never thought of how impossible that really was. I couldn't lie to myself anymore. If he wasn't in my life… then there was no point of living.

 Closer and closer, I leaned, cautious and nervous. Wrapping my fingers against the side of his pulsing neck, I felt my body tingle. His eyes were smoldering and intense as he stared at me just inches away. " Hayoung…" His voice was smooth like velvet, thick and full of compassion.

 As my lips pressed against his, I felt a jolt of electricity run through my every nerve. Responding carefully, his lips matched perfectly to mine as he leaned forward, taking control. I felt my cheeks steaming, overwhelmed. Brushing my fingers in his soft blonde hair, his hands wrapped around my waist as he softly repeatedly kissed me.

 Breathing heavily, I felt a tear drip down my face as my heart ached. I was amazed at how real it was. His skin, warm and radiating a sweet scent, made me tremble as I felt myself melting in his arms.  The usual dream like haziness was gone as he strongly held me against his body. Blushing, I began to realize how Youngmin truly was a man.

 His shoulders were broad, surprisingly muscular even those he was so thin. The center of his stomach was ridged as my hands brushed against him. I felt my heart beat increasing by the second.

 ……………………………………………………

 

Youngmin's point of view

 The chain I was holding onto, trying to contain the beast within, recoiled as Hayoung brushed her lips against mine. Shocked, I felt my mind become numb as my desire began to take control. Pushing into her, her lips were soft and her breath was warm. Blushing, I felt the heat collecting at the tip of my burning ears.

 Carefully, I held her by the waist, surprised by her responding fingers at the nape of my neck. As I  closed my eyes, I was amazed to realize how much of a women she was.

 It was nothing like a man's body. Her waist curved inward as my hands traveled down to her soft yet fitted stomach. I had always seen her as being beautiful, but this was too much to bare. The way she pressed against me made it truly difficult being a boy.

 Slowly, I felt my breath returning as I pulled away, wanting to hold onto the last remaining piece of humanity left in my body. This girl was terrifying. How was it possible that she was able to make me tremble so much just at the slightest touch?

 Her eyes, warm and flustered, shined as I blushed, realizing what had happened.

 …………………………………………………..

 

Hayoung's point of view

My breath thankfully returned as our lips parted. In my chest, it was like fireworks, burst of colors exploding. Every nerve in my body tingled, unable to know what to do. I blushed as my senses began to return, along with the embarrassment of what I done. I…had kissed Youngmin.

  

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
almightyLA
New chapters upload! Check them out :)

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
babokpoplover1
#1
I LOVE YOUR FIC!~ I'm just now getting around to read it. a little late, huh. Please update~
AMizuPen
#2
Jo twin <3 <3 Exciting story - 44 subscriber - Subscribes NOT ANYMORE XD
NicoleBF #3
ill start reading it tonight....so excited!!!...
mintykyu
#4
this is really good! keep writing! update soon! ^^
almightyLA #5
Thank you! I hope I get more readers like you ~<br />
aliceeeee
#6
I just started reading and it's quite good. love Boyfriend! I love the storyline~
almightyLA #7
Yeah it's been a pretty hectic month but I plan to catch up to my story so stay tuned!<br />
AphoticAngel
#8
YESHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U CAME BACK!!!!!!!<br />
i feel sad 4 kwangmin, his love is onesided<br />
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JEONGMIN SLEEPS WITHOUT A BLANKET!!!!!!!<br />
that's so sweet of youngmin! it is cliche but its so sweet that his like a personal knight for hayoung! <br />
KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!!! I MISSED THIS STORY!!!!
AphoticAngel
#9
damn......*sniff* too heart breaking BUT I LOVE IT!<br />
I LOVE A GOOD CRY ONCE IN A WHILE!<br />
stupid marie! ya think u can win sum1's heart just by playing a trick on 'em?!?! HA U MUST'VE CAME/COME FROM A STUPID FAMILY!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA UR MAKING ME LAUGH W/ UR STUPIDITY!!!!
almightyLA #10
I did :) I suppa love it :) II posted it on chapter 1 :) check it outtt.