Youngmin's point of view

It was uneasy closing the door behind me, leaving Hayoung alone with Marie. I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me, the fact that my ex had suddenly decided to show up in my life. The memories of four summers ago returned like the awakening from a long slumber…

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"What are you saying?" The disbelief stained my voice. Her eyes were sharp, unwavering. Where was her smile, her kind and gentleness?

Marie looked down, brushing back the long blonde bangs from her face, contrasting to my black hair. She sighed, leaning against the wall of the assembly hall. 

"I told you. I'm breaking up with you." It sounded like glass cracking, the harshness of her words. Biting my lip, I reached for her hand, confused. " Wait… Why? What's wrong?" She pulled away, her gaze suddenly gentle. 

 " Youngmin. Don't." Looking away, she turned from me. " I don't have time to play games with you anymore. You know how important debuting means to me…don't you?" She tilted her head, sincere. I nodded, remembering all the times she had brought me along to her auditions.  She smiled her fake, unrealistic grin.

"I finally got a chance to make my dreams come true Youngmin. I can't afford the risk of someone pulling me down." I clenched my fists, hurt. "Didn't you say we were in this together?" I felt the betrayal spill into my heart. She scoffed, amused. " If it was you, what would you do?" She challenged. 

I gritted my teeth, unable to speak. " A once in a lifetime chance, and you're willing to give it all up?" She raised her voice, something she did often to prove a point. " I…." I knew she was right but I couldn't help myself from becoming angry. So many times she had created scenarios and stories where it included both of us, where we were working together to become famous, to become idols. Wasn't that why we were trying so hard? 

She stepped forward, now placing a hand on my arm. " You should be happy for me." She smiled again that fake, poster like grin. Slowly, I felt my heart closing, locking itself in. The one person I trusted, the one person I thought was my everything, threw me to the side like an old beat up toy.

………………………………………………...

I didn't realize how much Hayoung had changed my life until I learned she was going to disappear from it.  Because of her, I learned what it was to truly love someone, what it was to feel as if you could give up anything just for that one person. She had unlocked and glued back my shatter heart that Marie had left scarred and bruised. 

Just the thought of having that security, that warmth of hers being stripped away from me, made my legs quiver. Was there really nothing I could do to hold onto her? To keep her by my side?

……………………………………………………….....

Hayoung's point of view

As Marie left me behind, I felt my breath finally return back to my body, The hallway was cold and isolated, the air thin, making my heart waver. To be honest, I wasn't afraid or angry. I was in disbelief. 

Everything she had said, I knew it was true. Maybe that was why it hit me even harder. I was keeping secrets. I was lying and hiding from the twins. I had to… didn't I?

The thought would come across my mind once in a while, the possibility that perhaps I was wrong, that they would understand me. Would they? If I told them my father died because of me, If I told them my mother was thrown away like trash because she gave birth to someone like me? Could I really hope they would still see me as Hayoung and not just some curse?

Of course not, even I couldn't accept myself. How could I ever possibly expect them to? It was impossible…

………………………………………

With every ounce of energy left in my drained and exhausted body, I stood up, dusting off my dress. Breathing in and out, I calmed myself down, forcing myself to relax. You'll be fine, just a few more days….

The lobby was filled with crew members by the time I returned. Joori, busy touching up Hyun Seong's make up, was far across from me on the other side by the dressing stalls. I sighed, wishing Joori could give me a dose of her usual energy. 

It was strange watching my mother… I guess it still felt unreal that someone like her was related to me. Han Yoo Jin sat peacefully on the black folding chair, Director printed behind her in plain white text.

A hand on her chin, she observed Minwoo as he danced to the music that played on the stereo. After five takes, Minwoo wiped the sweat from his forehead, collapsing on the couch as Jeong Min prepared for his filming. 

I handed Minwoo a towel, using the opportunity to ask what was happening. He thanked me as he dabbed carefully around his collar. " Director Yoo Jin decided to film the scenes with all the members first before the story, just in case we run out of daylight today." I looked outside at the orangish sky, surprised how fast time had passed.

Sitting besides Minwoo, we chatted idly when Kwangmin appeared, handing me a small black can. I smiled, thanking him for the ice coffee. "Are you feeling better?" Kwangmin asked, his lips pressed against each other. I nodded, reassuring him. " I'm fin-" Another lie. 

I stopped, frozen. " What's wrong?" He asked, worried. I pulled back, smiling weakly. " Nothing, I'm just-" Another excuse. It was as if Marie was inside my head, toying with me. Standing up, I excused myself as I ran outside to the backdoor, gasping for air. Clutching onto my chest, I felt my skin tremble. 

All the emotions I had been desperately trying to hold onto were leaking out one by one. I was terrified. The thoughts of the twins knowing about my birth scared me. What would I do if they hated me? The tears stung my eyes, wanting to fall. Suddenly, I flinched at the hand on my shoulder. 

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Kwangmin's point of view

She spun around, her moist eyes glistering. "Hayoung?" She backed away, moving her hand to her cheek, about to wipe the evidence of her tears. I stopped her, clutching onto her wrist. Looking away, her hair fell down her face, hiding her.

"I know you. You pretend to be alright and then you cry by yourself." I sighed, pulling her to my chest. " I understand, I won't ask, so don't run away." She remained still, her lips brushing against my neck. "Kwangmin?" Her voice was soft, muffled by my shoulder. 

Her breath was hot against my skin. Closing my eyes, I felt my heart squeeze painfully.. 

When are you going to realize your not alone? That I'm right here?

After what seemed forever, my phone suddenly vibrated, breaking the silence. Awkwardly, we pulled away, blushing. "Hello?" I asked harshly, upset of the intrusion. " We're almost done with Dong Hyun's single scene. Director Yoo Jin said it's almost time to shoot the main story plot. Come quickly." Secretary Yong hung up as I closed the phone. 

"Is it time?" Hayoung asked nervously. I nodded, smiling softly. " Yeah." Her eyes grew dim, dark. "Hey…" I wrapped my hand around her's. " You'll be fine. You don't want to disappoint the director with that glum expression, do you?" I joked, tightening my grip.

This hand, this warm sensation, would it disappear along with you? 

……………………………………………

Hayoung's point of view

As we walked back in silence, I watched Kwangmin's back. His kind words, his sincere concern… there was no way I could ever repay him for all the times he had calmed my panicking heart, soothed my aching chest. 

His words repeated in my mind softly, in cohesion with the pattering of our feet on the marble floor. "You'll be fine."  He was right. Marie, what ever she was, shouldn't have mattered to me. Being Youngmin's ex, being a part of a past nobody could change, I should not be dwelling on something irrelevant. 

By crying, by feeling sorrowful, and regret, I was letting her win. So boldly, had she told me her plans. Already in her mind, she was set on making me lose. At first, I thought she was right, that there was nothing I could do, but like a shot of realization, Kwangmin snapped me back to reality. She was wrong. 

Even if she was famous, even if she was Youngmin's ex girlfriend and had a significance in his life, she didn't have the right to hurt him. Being in Kwangmin's arms, I made a decision. When those cameras would roll, and when Marie was watching me, I would outshine her. I would prove to her that she should learn to never underestimate anyone, that I would protect Youngmin so he would never be scarred again by the likes of her. It didn't matter if she told them my secrets or even if she blackmailed me with something I couldn't change. 

I was willing to give up anything for Youngmin's sake, in order to protect him. 

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Youngmin's point of view

Nervous, I studied the lobby in search of Hayoung. Glancing at my watch, I wondered where she was. Han Yoo Jin came into the dressing room with secretary Yong, handing him the marker and megaphone. I stared at her as she flipped through the script, deciding which scenes to do first. 

She smiled when we met eyes, reminding me of what she had said earlier. 

…………………………………………….    

"You needed to see me?" I asked, approaching Yoo Jin. "Youngmin-shi." Her voice was friendly. " Yes, there is something I wish to discuss with you." Her eyes became serious. I tightened my fists, nervous. " I have heard you and Marie have had a past together, am I correct?" My eye widened, taken back. 

I secretly cursed Minwoo's name for his loud mouth. " Yes… it's true." She chuckled, entertained. " And Hayoung… is she fine with this?" I bit my lip, annoyed at Minwoo's habit of gossiping. " She…" I couldn't say anything. Of course she wasn't. When I heard about Minho and him being her first love, I was nearly berserk. I couldn't possibly understand what Hayoung was thinking now. 

" I thought so…" Yoo Jin sighed. " Well, is Hayoung important to you?" Again, I felt my heart quicken, surprised. Just what was her intentions? 

"You don't have to answer. I can already guess it from just looking at you two." She smiled gently. I blushed, embarrassed. " If I am right, and she is important to you, then understand what she's going through." I could sense the double meaning of her words.

 Did she already know… that I knew about her being Hayoung's mother?

" Have you told her? That you don't want her to leave?" I looked down, clutching my fists, not knowing what to say. She sighed, crossing her arms. " Are you just going to let her go?" Her words were harsh. I bit my lip, now glaring at her. 

"What was I supposed to do?" My voice quivered. " She already made up her mind." My skin felt hot under my clothes. " No! It's you who had already made up your mind." My eyes widened at her suddenly raised voice. "You have already shut her out. It's you that betrayed her." My heart stung painfully.

"Aren't you supposed to hold on to something you care about? To cry and beg for her to stay with you?" Her gaze was fierce, different from her usual poker face. "You're acting like a child, running away, afraid of being hurt." Her words unlocked something in my chest. 

She was right… I was running away. Afraid of losing her, I tried to let go, wanting to rid myself of the feeling of abandonment, but it was me that broke my promise. I recalled when I placed the ring on her finger in that garden, promising to wait for her. Without realizing it, I had pushed her away, leaving her behind. 

I gulped, unable to comprehend my realizations. Sighing, Yoo Jin relaxed, smiling softly. " Youngmin… I have had my share of regrets. There are moments in my life where I wonder what would have happened if I did what my heart wanted, instead of what mind said. Even though it's too late for me… there is still time for you. Don't give up on her if you still love her..." 

The barb wires around my heart recoiled, releasing its grip on me. Slowly, I felt the helplessness disappear. The anger I had in my veins subsided as I felt a warm sensation throughout me. My icy and frozen heart had returned back to its beating state. I loved her, and I wasn't going to let her disappear from my life.