He is really getting worse. Now he brought a girl to their dorm and she was showering while he waits in his room. What could they be doing? AAAAAAHHHHH!! No. Stop thinking stupid things, Minji. This is why you can’t sleep tonight. 

But why is my picture inside his manga? When did he take it and where? What do those words mean? That scent. Why does he have the same scent as Kikwang oppa? I don’t really get it.

Is my phone vibrating? I scrambled on my bed to find where it is and I found it. Huh? Just a number calling me? 

“Hello?”

The next day:

“Okay, it’s Taemin and Minzy’s last scene.” The director said. It’s for the last episode which will be aired tomorrow. Then we will have a party the next day with the staff and crew wearing a dress and such. 

Even though I’m mad at him, I have to be professional. Our characters were in a fight and in this episode we should be all good. What the fight was about? It’s because he kissed Sohyun in front of me but that was their goodbye kiss and I just happened to witness it. Then, I became the cause of Kikwang oppa and Sooyoung unnie’s break up but I fixed it. Though I’m still lonely I’m happy for them since they love each other deeply. Yup, that’s the plot. 

The plot says I’m walking in the park reminiscing my happy times and eventually cries.

So, yeah, that’s what I’m doing. Well, I remembered what he did to me. He didn’t believe me and he let me go. He didn’t even bothered to save me and in that instant tears came rolling. I’m hurt because he promised he’ll be there and he will never let me be harmed by someone. 

I felt something warm holding my hand. Then, my back isn’t cold anymore and I could feel his heart beating fast.

It’s the last scene. The last time I’ll be seeing her at work. Tomorrow is her birthday. The last day of our contract. The last time I’ll see her and I’ll be out of her life. The director said, the writer didn’t have lines for me which is weird. I have to adlib he said. He just told me the plot of this and I should just make it my own scene. I don’t even know what to do but he said he’ll just say cut and if it is beautiful that’s a go if not retake it. 

I held her hand. It has been a while since I did this. It’s still the same soft hand. While never letting go of that hand, I hugged her. It felt like I’m going to burst. The reality of holding her without her pushing me away is unreal but it is acting. She froze at my touch. The director say adlib, so I’ll just say what I want to say because she’ll be listening. The only time she’ll listen is at this moment.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. I didn’t mean it. It was just a goodbye kiss.” She was still silent but her tears dropped on my hands.

“Even if you don’t believe me, I tried finding you. I went crazy. I didn’t sleep because I can’t. I went to every club that you might be dancing in Itaewon. Hoping it was just a dream and I would see you dancing your heart but it wasn’t. When I did find you, I tried so hard to protect you till I pass out. I’m sorry for everything.” As I said that I spun her around and looked straight into her eyes in which are now red from crying. She is cute at this moment. I just have to let her go. I said what I wanted to say. 

“I—“ I stopped her by pressing my own lips with hers. I kissed her for the last time. Because after today, I won’t see her. Tomorrow, I can’t get close to her because for sure Big Bang hyungs and also Kikwang will be there. 

“CUT!!” I stopped and I said in a low voice that only she could hear, “The contract is over, you are free. Happy Birthday and Goodbye.” Then, I went away. I started bowing to the staff and crew. The director was happy. Sooyoung noona went beside me when I felt it. The sharp pain in my head. I held her hand and gripped it real hard. She immediately knew that something was wrong. I didn’t tell anyone about this. It happened to me these past few days and vodka was the only one that could make me fall asleep and numb the pain. 

“Taemin, what’s wrong.” She asked. 

“Noona, shut up. Don’t tell anyone or they’ll be worried.” I said. She led me to my van and I took the vodka bottle I’ve been hiding in the van straight. Enough for me to pass out and relieved the pain.

I was staring at his retreating back. What the hell?!? Goodbye? All those words were just scripted but why does it feel like it’s the truth? I tried to go to him when I felt Kikwang oppa’s hand. He hugged me and said, “You were great.” That’s when I saw the clock. It was already 1 AM. My eyes then looked for him but he was gone.

My phone rang reminding me I have someone to meet. 

“Taemin.” I nudged my dongsaeng to wake up. Instead of going back to my dorm, I went with Taemin. I know there is something wrong. When he gripped my hand, all that came to my mind was he is in pain. I don’t know what kind of pain though. Is it physical or emotional?

“Oppa. Can you carry him back to his dorm?” I asked his manager. He nodded. When we reached his dorm, I refused to go back to my dorm. I have to make sure he is okay. Something is telling me that if I left, I won’t see him again, awake that is. I’ll leave when he wakes up. 

Kibum allowed me in his room. Taemin was sweating so much. He is gripping his pillow hard. He is in pain again. What is it? I want to ask him. 

“Noona.” Kibum said to me.

“How long is he like this?” I asked.

“I don’t know. It’s the first time I saw him like this. He comes back then he locks his room.”

“Why are there many vodka bottles in here?” I asked again without looking at him.

“Minji said he was drinking. She hides his bottles in my room but I don’t know how he got them.” I held his forehead and he was burning up.

“Kibum! Get a towel, cold water and ice. He is burning up.” I said. He went immediately. I held his hand again and he gripped it hard again. 

“Taemin! Taemin! Wake up!” I shouted but all I heard from him was, “Shut up noona. Don’t make it worse. It’ll be over after I sleep, like always.” Then he slept again. He was sweating too much. I’m worried and Kibum as well. We stayed up all night to keep his temperature down but it was fluctuating.

“Changmin sunbaenim.” I said as I sat down. He was smiling at me. 

“Thanks for meeting me.” He said.

“May I ask why?” I asked again.

“Let’s just have a chat and call me oppa.” He said. He ordered a latte for me and an Americano coffee for him.

“Is this about Taemin?” I asked.

“Mostly about him and me. About Sulli too. Only three people knows why they broke up. Him, me and Luna.”

“Wait a minute. He didn’t trust Sulli. He never learned the truth about you and her. You didn’t sleep with her right? Also, he hates you for that.” I asked.

“He trusted her. He trusted her and believed her. He loved her. He knows she wouldn’t do that.”

“Then, why?” I was puzzled. He could be with Sulli if he wanted to. But why? Why he didn’t do it?

“Because I said so.” Changmin oppa said.

“What?” I asked. I’m getting kind of mad.

“It’s because he is a prince. He have everything. He has the looks, the money, the kind personality and of course, love. Don’t get me wrong. I love Taemin as my dongsaeng and I still do.”

“Then why? I don’t get your logic. Why would you hurt him? Why would you take his girlfriend from him?” I said. Seriously, this guy is nuts.

“The truth is, I’m happy seeing them. Him and Sulli happy but I realized I’m missing something. What I am missing, he has it. Then I saw them fighting. It hurt to see her cry and even drink because of him. Sulli and drinking isn’t a good combination. I realized at that moment, I fell for her.”

“So?” I said.

“I could see you are angry. I paid the price already. By seeing him destroying himself and I couldn’t stop him.”

“Couldn’t stop him?”

“I’m the only person he would listen to. But after what I did, I’m dead to him.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

“Listen, he knows me and Sulli didn’t do the deed. He loved her but he knows he will hurt her and I just told him the reality of that. I fought him, well not actually he hit me many times asking me why her. I know I’m bad but I know he will find someone that he would fall madly in love with more than Sulli and I’m right.”

“I really don’t get you but you are a jerk for stealing your dongsaeng’s girl.” I said. He smiled. 

“I told you I paid the price already by not being able to stop him from destroying himself, playing with girls and stuff and it’s killing me to reprimand him. Minji, do you really think Taemin would play around when you are in danger especially when he was the last one to see you?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked him.

“There is only one lie he made for the rest of his life and it is to protect my reputation from Sulli. That lie is, he told Sulli she betrayed him for me though he knows she wouldn’t do it. How is it a lie? If he said to her that he believed her and I told him I made it all up, she’ll hate me for breaking the two of them up.”

“What are you talking about?” I said in frustration.

“I’m telling you that Taemin isn’t a liar. If he told you he saved you, then it is the truth.” He said to me calmly and sipped his coffee.

“Why should I believe you? You are a liar too. He lied to me. How could you even know he isn’t lying?”

“Minji, if there is one thing I would like to do for him, it is to let him be with you. After all, you are the one who saved him from destroying himself.”

“Why are you talking in riddles?”

“I just told you the truth. I broke Sulli and Taemin so Sulli can be with me. He became a playboy because of my doing and you saved him from that because in his eyes you are the girl who made him fall in love again. Now, he is reverting back to his old self because you told him to leave and respect your decision. All I’m saying is Taemin wouldn’t lie to you. More likely, he COULDN’T lie to you.”

I just stared at him. “I’m not believing anything you said.”

“I just told you my side, Minji. It’s your choice if you believe it or not.” He said then he left me. 

I woke up and saw Sooyoung noona sleeping on a chair beside my bed and Kibum hyung on my bed, holding my hand.

“Why are the two of you here?” I asked they woke up with me asking.

“How are you feeling” Sooyoung noona asked while she checked my forehead for my temperature.

“I’m fine. I told you not to get fussy over me which clearly you didn’t do since Kibum hyung is worried as well.” I said as I started to get up and get my towel to shower. 

“Taemin, tell me how is your head? Do you have headaches? Migraines?” Kibum hyung asked. He caught me. I ignored him so he won’t ask again.

“You are going to the hospital and no, you are not going to that shower after you had a 42 Celcius fever over night and it was a pain to make it go down.” Hyung said with finality.

He dragged me to his car and Sooyoung noona walking after us. I guess I don’t have any choice. But they would be totally worried and I hate it when they worry.

I stayed up all night thinking what Changmin oppa said. Then I remembered his words. “Happy Birthday and Goodbye.”

“Whoa. Why is my maknae all dressed up?” Seunghyun oppa asked but he smiled and hugged me. “Happy birthday. Be more responsible from now on not that you aren’t.” I hugged him back. 

“Yes, oppa.” I said and the next thing I knew, Jiyong oppa surprised me with flowers and a hug.

“Happy Birthday! Why did you grew up so fast?” He said and I hugged him. “I just did.” I said. Then, “You are not allowed to date anyone today. I’m your date.” I just smiled.

“And you are not allowed to go near Kikwang, understood?” Seunghyun oppa said. 

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I said so.” He said. weird. I looked at Jiyong oppa and he just said, “Just do it.”

“If he ever did go near you, I’ll be at your side. You are not allowed to be with him alone.” Seunghyun oppa continued then Bommie unnie whacked his head.

“Stop scaring her, it’s her birthday be nice.” Then we all went to the party for the sitcom.

As we went to the car, I was surprised to see all of them. My unnies and oppas and even Minjae. They are all going with me. 

Daesung oppa was driving when Minjae’s phone rang. 

“Sooyoung noona!” He said smiling from ear to ear. Then his smile faltered. “What do you mean you are not going? You are part of the cast.”

“Because of Taemin hyung? What about him?” I looked at Minjae when I hear his name.

“Why can’t you say? Noona! Noona!” Minjae said but it looks like she hung up.

“If she can’t tell me, I’ll have to call Taemin hyung.” He called him but, “His phone is off. It goes straight to voicemail.”

Somehow, I felt nervous.

“Taemin, you have to stay here.” Kibum said for the nth time.

“Hyung, I have to go to the party.” He said as he tried to take the needle out of his hand but Sooyoung prevented it.

“No. I am not going and so are you. The doctor said that he told you that when you experience pain you should’ve come sooner. So, no.” Sooyoung said. The doctor came in.

“Mr. Lee, you have to stay for the night we still need to observe you and please don’t fall asleep. Keep him awake as possible.” The doctor said.

“Why do I have to stay? You have tested me all day and you are making my head hurt much more.” Taemin said.

“We still need to observe you before we conclude if you need the operation or not.” Sooyoung almost fell on her seat.

“Operation?” She asked.

“Mr. Lee, can you move your left hand at your will right now?” The doctor asked and Taemin tried but he can’t.

“This is getting worse.” The doctor said to himself.

“I’ll be back after two hours.” The doctor said to them and left.

“Hyung, can you get me a banana milk?” Taemin said and Kibum went out. Sooyoung went to the bathroom to wash her face, Taemin snuck out of the room.

I’m having fun with this party until I saw him show up with Sohyun. She was holding his arm and acting like he is perfect. Why is he even with her? 

“Just so you know he with Sohyun.” Luna’s voice echoed. But just why? 

“Looking at Lee Taemin? Maknae, you do know he is only going to play you? He’s not the guy for you.” Jiyong oppa said as he slung his arm on my shoulders.

“Oppa, I was looking at Sohyun.” I lied. 

“Oh. Minji, don’t hang out with her anymore.” 

“Why?”

“Because she knows where you are and didn’t tell us till she was beaten up by Sooyoung. She’s not a good friend.”

“Oppa, did Lee Taemin looked for me when I was missing?” I asked him and he gave me a weird look.

“Do you have to ask that? That kid didn’t sleep at all and it took Minho’s strength to stop him from going out. When we were distracted for a while, he went out looking for you. Minho said he was guilty that he couldn’t protect you and because he was the last one that see you before you were abducted.” 

‘Minji, do you really think Taemin would play around when you are in danger especially when he was the last one to see you?’ Changmin’s voice now replayed over her head. 

Jiyong oppa went to get something to drink and Kikwang oppa suddenly appeared. 

“Happy birthday, birthday girl!” He said and hugged me. His scent was different. I didn’t feel safe at all like when he did it in the hospital.

“Here, your present. Turn around.” He said and he put on a heart necklace and it is pretty.

“Thank you.” I said and he smiled. It feels like he isn’t my bestfriend. Why haven’t I noticed this before. 

“Oppa, are you hiding something from me?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“What would I hide form you?” There I saw it. He is shrugging his shoulders uncomfortably when he lies.

All of a sudden I was pushed back and I hit something. The ice sculpture now was about to fall on me.

How dare he talk to my maknae? I told her to keep away from him. I walked to them and he is now putting a necklace on her marking him as his. There is no freaking way I would let him do that. It fueled my anger more. 

I walked faster but some of the staffs stop me from doing so asking for my autograph. I gave it to them.

Then this writer came in and annoyed me so I kissed her on her cheek and said, “I’ll send you a signed cd if you stop anyone that comes in my way.” That did the trick.

I went to my maknae’s side and push her at my back. “You have no right to be with her, you liar.”

I heard a crash and someone screamed. “TAEMIN!!” I looked at my back and saw him protecting my maknae and his head bleeding.

Psh. A necklace. You look happy with that necklace? 

“Oppa, when are you going to stop?” Sohyun asked me for the nth time and I gripped her hand real tight that hurt her.

“Tsk. As long as I’m enjoying your misery, I won’t stop. Do you think I would just be wallowing in self pity after separating me from Minji? I’m sorry to tell you, Sohyun. I am the one that saved Minji not your oppa. He lied just to take my credit.”

“No, he wouldn’t do that. He loves Minji.” She said in defiance. 

“By the way, the idol world knows what you have done. I was silent about this but do you really think I wouldn’t know you are the one that pushed the boxes to fall on Minji at the set. You’ve really ticked me off this time.”

Now she looks scared. Be scared. I’m evil and even Minji knows it.

“Scared now are you? Do you really think you could handle me? I’m Lee Taemin. One of those with an evil and good side. Only Minji can handle my dark side aside from Luna and you can’t.”

My eyes wandered and it landed again on her being pushed By TOP hyung. She hit the table that was carrying the Angel ice sculpture. Then, it is now about to fall. Before I knew it, I was on top of her. 

“I told you, I’m not always there to protect you, idiot.” He said to me. He is bleeding real hard. He pulled me up and I was now close to almost hugging him. His scent. It’s the same as the one who saved me.

“TAEMIN!!” Sooyoung unnie screamed . “Damn, they found me. This is the third time I save your life.” As soon as he said that, he went limp and I was now holding him, keeping him from falling. His head bleeding and his blood dripping on me.