The next day turns out from worse to worst. Shi Won’s pain in her liver is too unbearable. As I make my rounds with Hyeon Jae and Hyun Mi, Yoon Jae told me she can’t sleep. We called a nurse to give her shots of pain reliever and sedative. Shi Won calms down and closes her eyes.

“Shi Won-ah,” I say and hold her hand. She nods at me.

“You’ll get well soon. I promise you that.”

This time, she smiles. Hyun Mi speaks up.

“We’ll do everything to bring you back to health, Mrs. Yoon. In fact, we’re doing the best that we can.”

Shi Won just smiles. Yoon Jae tells Hyun Mi that his wife appreciates her kindness.

But there’s something about Hyun Mi’s smile. Something dark and menacing. I’m starting to think she has a plan…

Hyeon Jae and Hyun Mi leave us to make their own rounds. I sit on a chair and watch Yoon Jae take care of his wife.

“I don’t love her as much as I love you, but I’m not ready to lose her yet.” He says when Shi Won’s eyes are closed.

That crushes me into fine dust but I don’t show it. It hurts big time.

“I’ll do my best to save her, Yoon Yoon Jae.”

“Will you? Because I’m losing hope.”

“You know me.”

“I’m willing to give up everything.”

This is my best fighting chance, no matter how selfish it seems. I’ll give it a shot.

“Hyeon Jae is going home to Incheon later. Come to my place and we’ll talk it over.”

One, two, three. It only takes three knocks on the door but I can’t lift my hand. One press on the doorbell, four times on the keypad for the passcode. Yet I remain frozen outside Dr. Kang Joon Hee’s doorstep, expecting any outcome that might happen out of this foolishness.

The door opens just when I was about to turn around and leave. I stop dead on my tracks when Joon Hee calls me out.

“I’m glad you came.” Joon Hee says while he pours tea in a small, white cup. It’s jasmine, based from its smell. He hands the cup to me.

“You said we’ll talk it over.” I answer.

He smirks. I think I got the wrong idea of his ‘talking over’.

“You know what I want.”

I put the cup on the table. Looking into his hungry eyes, I really know what he wants. It’s what I’ve been wanting to do for so long too. I kiss him hard on the lips. We take our steps to the nearby wall. I pin both of his arms and the side of his neck. Lifting his shirt up and hearing him moan loudly, I know this is going to be a long, long night…

My mother had fallen asleep on the couch not far from my bed. I lie awake thinking of the future. Though getting well is one big impossibility, I still imagine how it feels like to be free from this pain. Free from everything. But sadly, I’m heading to my own finish line.

The nurse comes in. it’s an IV shot for I don’t know what again. I watch her as he injects it on the vial with trembling hands.

“Are you okay? You can just inject me some other time.” I ask.

She finishes injecting the shot with tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She says and runs away. She drops the syringe on the floor.

I shrug it off. A moment later, my chest tightens.

Something’s wrong. I can see the finish line more clearly now.