Maybe not expecting too much can be good. It’s another day in the hospital, with me lying on the bed and Yoon Jae running the errands for me. I’ve undergone several tests but my liver is not getting better. But what made my day are the people who visited me. High school friends, former workmates and my parents. They entertained me with stories. I felt more alone the moment they left, but I’m glad my parents stayed with me and Yoon Jae.

Joon Hee came in a moment later. He forces out a civil smile at me. I tell my parents and Yoon Jae to leave us alone for a while. This moment of talking to him in private is what I’ve been waiting for.

He sits on the edge of my bed. I can feel my heart beating very fast.

“Joon Hee-ah.” I say and pause right away. “I mean, Dr. Kang.”

He chuckles. “It’s okay. Just call me by my name.”

“Okay…I just want to say something.”

“Say it now. You know I’m just making my rounds.”

Another pause. I don’t have much courage but I have to do this.

“I’m sorry for everything. I know I’ve been selfish, mean, annoying and frustrating. I can’ take back every single thing I said to you before but I hope you’d forgive me. At least before I die, I’ve patched things up with you.”

“Shi Won-ah, forgiving is a long process. I’m finding it hard to forgive you but I won’t deny you the luxury of starting a clean slate with me. Here we are, brought again by fate in the most unexpected circumstances.”

It takes a lot of effort for me to sit up straight and hug him.

“I don’t know how to thank you.” I say.

He kisses the side of my head. “Just get well, okay? I already prescribed antibiotics. Yoon Jae are buying them now.”

I lost track of time that I was in his arms. I didn’t even know I fell asleep. When I wake up, I see Yoon Jae sitting on a chair eating apples.

“I talked to Dr. Lee a while ago.” Hyeon Jae says. I roll my eyes at him. I wonder if he knows what I did to her earlier.

“And then what?”

“You kissed her.”

“Not kiss. Made out.”

He jumps up like he won a mountain of money in sweepstakes. His face lights up brighter than a fireworks display.

“You got her! I always knew you two would hit it off!”

“But I didn’t go all the way.”

In an instant, he flops down on his chair. Lethargy took over him. And with a pained expression, he asks me why.

“I don’t know. I find it so hard to do.”

“Not another Yoon Jae episode again.”

“You have no choice. This is Episode 500 of my Yoon Jae drama.”

“Ugh! For ten years man! Ten goddamn years!”

I grin. “Bear with me again, will you?”

“I know.” He strikes a finger on my chest. “He’s in there.”

“I left him but it turns out I never did. I feel like he’s always with me. Every corner, every second. I never stopped loving him. And I won’t ever stop.”

He claps his hand. “Wow, so poetic.”

“I’m sorry.” I continue. That gets him to stop clapping.

“No, not again.”

“I know how you feel about me. I just can’t give it back to you. That makes me feel guilty.”

He gives me a knowing smile. “You don’t have to. I understand. It’s just that it feels good for me to hide nothing from you.”

“Thank you – ”

He takes me in his arms. Though I’ve come to love the safety his body offers me, my heart kicks in his gear when I see Dr. Lee eavesdropping on us.