Yoon Jae puts down the pen and the judge declares him and Shi Won married. All eyes are on them in that cramped courtroom. Soon the place explodes in thunderous applauses, happy at the turnout of the ceremony.

But I can’t be truly happy at this. As I clap my hands and curve my lips into a smile, I know I’m lying to myself. Yoon Jae has slipped past my fingertips when I could’ve held him tighter. There’s a part of me that wants him to stay by my side. I don’t want him to go but he had to. There’s nothing I can do about that.

The stakes are about to get higher. I see the happiness in Shi Won’s face as she loops her arms with Yon Jae’s. Everyone seems to be happy.

Everyone but me.

And Yoon Jae.

I hope I’m right. Behind his smile is the pain of doing this. A stupid part of me hopes that I am the cause of his sadness. That somehow, our stolen kisses and hand gestures mean more than what it really is.

“I want a grand church wedding next year.” Shi Won’s father said.

The newly married couple is more than just shocked. They just laughed it all off and gave Mr. Sung a false promise. I smile to myself while pain spreads inside the vast expanse of my body.

The car pulls up in front of the building. Yoon Jae and Shi Won climb out of the car. I follow suit, looking through my phone at nothing in particular. It feels so odd walking down with the two of them in our place. I’m the third wheel and I know the show isn’t over. For Shi Won.

I lie on the couch and close my eyes. I hear the two of them talk until their voices fade in my hearing range.

I find Yoon Jae sitting in front of the dining table when I wake up. He’s eating dinner by himself. He flashes his smile when he sees me.

“Good thing you’re awake. Let’s eat.”

I’m surprised by the bounty of food served on the table. He doesn’t cook that much but he managed to pull this off. I take the seat opposite him and begin eating.

“Congratulations, by the way.” I say while chewing my food. I can’t look into his eyes because of this pain inside me.

“Thank you.” He says, but his words fade into thin air.

“Where’s Shi Won?”

“Oh, she went somewhere. Maybe for work.”

“Aren’t you going to work?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Maybe not. Io need to rest. Aren’t you going to the hospital?”

I nod. “I need some rest too.”

“Well, let’s spend this day together, then.”

I shoot him a look of disbelief. He can’t possible do this. He can’t possible cheat on Shi Won.

“In what way?” I say.

“I’ll help you do the dishes.”

I smile at that. “Sure. Just let me eat first.”

When I’m done eating, I start to clear up the table and put the dishes on the sink. I wear the plastic gloves and turn on the faucet. Yoon Jae is still finishing the coffee he made a while ago. I begin washing the dishes.

“Hey, I thought you’re gonna help me with this?” I say.

He smiles, his eyes sparkling with some twisted humor. My heart kicks into gear as he stands up and puts the cup on the sink.

“Can you stop for a while?” he pleads with puppy eyes.

Stop what? Then he takes the gloves off of my hands and sets them aside. He guides me to my room and closes the door after.

As soon as I hear the lock click, I find myself gasping for air.

“Kang Joon Hee...” he says, running the back of his fingers on my face.

I gently ward his hand off.

“What?”

“Even if I married Shi Won, you must know that I love you. So much.”

“Yah, Yoon Yoon Jae!”

A swift peck on my lips.

“I know you love me, Joon Hee. Let’s hold on together, okay? We can do this. We’ll make it through this.”

“Yoon Jae-ah -”

A kiss on my forehead.

“Joon Hee, I love you.”

A kiss on my nose. And before I could protest, he fits his lips with mine. Slowly, gently, then deeper. Soon I fumble for the first button of his shirt while he s my jeans. As our bodies fall on the bed and his lips leaving stinging traces down my body. I can feel myself on fire.

I let myself ignite with him, not caring about the high stakes getting even higher.