I walk down the hospital lobby with my phone held near my ear. Joon Hee is not answering any of my calls. I badly need someone to talk to after what happened in dinner last night. My hand is shaking as panic and paranoia run simultaneously in my bloodstream.

“Pick up the phone, Kang Joon Hee.” I mumble desperately.

After a few seconds, he picks up the other line.

“Oh, Shi Won-ah.” he says. I know he’s smiling judging by the sound of his voice.

“Can I talk to you?”

“About what?”

“About what happened last night.”

There’s a pause from him. “Sure. Same place.”

I descend the steps toward the ‘Chair of Truth’. I see Joon Hee leaning on the wall, his hands inside the pockets of his lab gown. He gives me a smile when he sees me.

“I’m sorry.” I say the moment I sit on the drawn chair.

“For what?”

“For snatching you in times of work. I know you’re supposed to attend to your patients.”

“It’s okay. I find it touching that you come here and talk to me. At least it keeps me from thinking of him.”

I chuckle a bit. I truly applaud him for keeping his love for Yoon Jae over a long period of time.

“So what do you want us to talk about now?”

I play with my fingers. My tongue recoils at the thought that I’d be saying the same thing over and over again.

“About Tae Woong.”

“What about him?”

I heave a sigh. Even if he doesn’t speak, I can tell by the way he looks at me that he wants me to go on.

“He’s always telling Yoon Jae to find someone for him. And the tone of his voice tells Yoon Jae that he’s proud I chose him. It just kind of irritates me how he can speak that way to his own brother.”

Joon Hee’s face tells me that he has something insightful in his mind. Here goes another words of wisdom.

“That bothers me too. He’s sort of telling Yoon Jae that ‘I have the girl you like so back off’. Mind if I ask you one thing?”

I nod and brace myself for the question.

“Do you still love Yoon Jae?”

That hit me hard at all angles. I don’t know how to handle the feeling. I hope my answer won’t break his heart for the nth time.

“Yes, I love him. I still do. And I love him more than I love Tae Woong.”

For a moment, I didn’t care if Tae Woong is here or not. I just need someone to listen to my every rant.

“See? You’re just being crazy. If you love Yoon Jae, why can’t you leave Tae Woong?”

I fall into an awkward round of silence. That is one question I’d surely bet my life on just to be answered.

“You’ve been together for years, but you’ve truly depended on him for almost everything. You should follow your heart.”

I look down on the steps. What he said is true. I stay by Tae Woong’s side because he loves me and he gives me everything. And maybe because I’m upset at the thought that it took so long for Yoon Jae to confess when I liked him so much. I find myself nodding in agreement.

“You just need to find out who among the two of them makes you happier, Shi Won. In the end, it’s always your choice.”

“Do you know why I chose Tae Woong over Yoon Jae?” I say, regretting immediately as the words leave my mouth. That makes Joon Hee look at me like I’m a specimen under the microscope.

 “Why?” he asks, voice b with curiosity.

“It’s because I want to give him a chance. For him to show how sincere his feelings are for me. And he is. I learned to love him, but I can’t deny the fact that I love Yoon Jae more. I couldn’t escape that.”

Joon Hee sits beside me and puts an arm around my shoulder. He plays with my hair in a comforting way. I find relief at his gesture.

“Shi Won-ah.” It’s the only thing he can manage to say, and without any words, I lean my head on his shoulder and start to cry.

“What should I do?” I ask, though I know it won’t be answered.

He pulls me closer, telling me that I have a friend, even if we’re vying for the attention of the same person.

I thank Joon Hee for the time he spent with me and walked to my appointment. He smiles and waves me goodbye. I feel a little lighter after talking to him. But I have to face my own issues after this. Yes, that’s right. It’s all in my hands.

I take a cab on my way to the studio. Leaning my head on the backrest, I try to think of ways to tell Tae Woong how I feel. It might not be now but I’ll surely tell him someday. He has to know that I have someone else in my heart. Not him. Once it was him, but not now. I love Yoon Jae and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make that clear to him.

The cab stops in front of the studio. I give the driver my fare and get out of the vehicle. I run toward the entrance because my phone has been ringing inside my pocket. I know it’s my bossy director, and hearing his voice might shatter my eardrums. I press the elevator button and the doors slide open.

I go inside, close the door and pick up the phone. It’s really my director. Pressing the button, I brace myself for another round of harsh scolding.

“Sung Shi Won!” With the way my name is said, this man is already waging a war at me through the airwaves.

“Yes?” I say in my littlest voice.

“Where the hell are you?”

Director Moon’s voice is starting to break my ear. I should get a surgery with the help of Kang Joon Hee tomorrow.

“I’m inside the elevator. I’ll be there in a minute.” I answer.

“You better be here or else I’ll fire you!”

His threat is as crispy as a fried chicken skin. Terror runs through my body.

“Y-Yes.”

I hang up before he gets to say anything. I reach the floor of my destination. As soon as the doors open, I sprint to Director Moon’s office.

I see Yoon Jae walking down the hallway but I have no time to wonder why he’s here or to even say hello. We bump into each other and my phone falls on the floor.

“I’m sorry, I’m late.”

Director Moon slams his hand on the desk and stands up. I rummage my bag for the script that he asked me to write for.

“Where’s the script?”

I hold it in front of him and put it on the desk.

“Here it is.”

“Mind to rest for a while, Shi Won-ah?” Hye Rin, my workmate, asks me.

I shake my head. “No. I have to go somewhere. Bye!” I wave at her and take one last glance at Director Moon before walking away.

I feel like something is missing in me, then I realize it’s my phone. Panic sets in me and I tap my pockets. It’s not there. All my contacts are in there and I should not lose it. My heart starts to race inside my chest.

“Looking for this?” Yoon Jae says when I reach the elevator. He holds my phone and looks at me with a you’re-so-clumsy-go-burn-in-hell look.

“Yeah. Give that to me.” I say, holding my hand out.

He gives it to me and jerks his hand back before I can hold it. He smiles at me playfully. I kick his leg and grab my phone from him. I press the elevator buttons.

He gets in after me and closes the doors. I can hear his groans and curses at me under his breath.

“You still don’t know how to play with me, Yoon Yoon Jae.” I say with a smirk.

He doesn’t say a word as he rubs his leg. We stand in silence while the elevator brings us down the ground floor.

I am taken aback when he suddenly grabs my arm, puts my head between his torso and his arm and ruffles my hair like crazy. I shout while he laughs at my torture. I push him off and he pulls me close, just when the elevator doors break open.

An elderly couple sees us in that position. Yoon Jae pinned on the all while my hands are on his chest. I pull myself away and we compose ourselves.

“If you plan to make out, better not do it here!” the old man yells at us.

“I’m sorry.” I say and bow a little bit to show sincerity.

He’s talking to Yoon Jae now.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

Yoon Jae is quick to shake his head.

“N-No. She’s just a friend of mine.”

“Then you better act as friends! You two are disgusting.”

“I’m sorry.” Yoon Jae bows his head and exits the elevator. I gingerly follow him while I stifle the blush that threatens to color my cheeks.

“Yah, Yoon Yoon Jae!” I yell as we walk outside the studio.

He spins around and looks at me.

“What?”

I slap the back of his head. “You should’ve told the man earlier that I’m your girlfriend. I wouldn’t be ashamed like this.”

And I really am ashamed. Deep-down.

“Why would I? You’re my brother’s girlfriend. I don’t have any right to claim you as mine.”

With that, he leaves me alone. And I’m regretting the decision I made years ago, its claws digging deeply in my shoulders.