“Oh, Shi won-ah!” I say and wave at her. She’s standing on the hospital lobby with her brown backpack on her back, wearing her usual get up. She waves back at me and walks to my direction.

I meet her and put my arms around her. We always do this even if we’ve just seen each other a few hours ago. If people looking at us don’t know us personally, we’d be mistaken as a couple.

She pulls away from me. She looks at me for a long time.

“What?” I ask her.

“I think you lost weight.” She answers.

I raise my eyebrows a bit, wearing a suspicious look on my face.

“Really?”

She nods. I don’t think I lost much weight. I’m just too tired these days. What with all the long, dragging hours of duty and… Yoon Yoon Jae.

“You must eat a lot today. Tae Woong will treat us all.” she says and smiles her usual evil grin. I know her that much.

“Let’s go.” I say and we head to the restaurant.

Mixed emotions surge out of my heart as I climb out of the cab and walk inside the restaurant. Shi Won trails behind me. I quickly found the table and see Tae Woong sitting there. It’s a table for four. Shi Won and I fill the empty spaces.

“Good afternoon, sunsaengnim.” I say with a slight bow. Shi Won greets him with a smile.

Tae Woong smiles at both of us. “Where’s Yoon Jae?”

“He’s still coming. I don’t know when.” Shi Won answers him.

Tae Woong asks me about my life in the hospital while we wait for Yoon Jae to arrive. Shi Won occasionally interrupts us with her eyes on her phone, playing a game. I laugh so hard at his joke until I am silenced by two hands on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I’m late.”

I turn to see Yoon Jae. He gives me a huge smile and sits beside me. My heart beats a thousand paces than the normal rate, but I try to hide it by talking to Tae Woong.

“You should be. I’ve been hungry for almost a day.” Shi Won remarks sarcastically.

“Shut up.” Yoon Jae retorts. Oh well, this is not new to me. Seeing them talk like this has become a part of my life-long routine.

“Let’s eat!” Tae Woong says and we take our orders.

The table is filled with so much food. There’s not a single corner left on the table where I can put my phone. I’m starting to think if we can finish this all up. But by the way these three people are eating, I know this dinner will be worthwhile.

“So, are you dating anyone now, Yoon Jae?” Tae Woong asks his brother.

A moment of silence drapes over us. I look at Yoon Jae while he looks at Shi Won, who looks at his eyes for a while before resuming her eating.

Yoon Jae shakes his head. “”No. I have no time for that now.”

As he said that he gives Shi Won a lonely look. She just keeps one eating. My heart sinks at the thought that he still loves her, though she’s dating his brother for so long.

“You should find someone now. You’re not getting any younger.” Tae Woong suggests.

“I’m gonna let Joon Hee find his soul mate first.”

Tae Woong looks at me and smiles.

“Why don’t you try dating, Joon Hee? You’re handsome and kind. Any girl would fall for you.”

I shake my head. “Not now. I’m still busy at the hospital and I know that thing can wait.”

“But in case you get a good girl, introduce me to her. Okay?”

I give a small smile. “Sure.”

After we eat, we all go outside for some fresh air. Tae Woong and Shi Won go ahead of us. I walk with Yoon Jae on the sidewalk while we wait for a bus to get to our place.

Tae Woong’s words are still left on my mind. He wants me to find love, when in fact I’ve been in love with his brother all these years. I just can’t seem to push myself to go forward and move on from my first love. He’s too precious for me to forget those feelings. And that conversation stirred me feelings. I feel the burning pain in my chest as I listen to the brothers. Looking through Yoon Jae’s eyes, I know he’s in deep pain. Watching how Shi Won takes all the words she heard, I understand that she’s in deeper pain than Yoon Jae. I don’t know how I managed to see the three of us stuck in the same situation.

“I’m sorry. We should’ve turned down Tae Woong’s invitation.” I say, breaking the discomforting silence wrapped around us.

“Sorry for what?” he says, raising an eyebrow on my weird statement.

“That. I can feel it, Yoon Jae.”

We both stop walking. He looks into my eyes.

“Please. Let’s stop this. You know how much I hate the idea of it.”

“I know. But I’m just concerned about you.”

“I’m happy with my life now, Joon Hee. I gave up Shi Won just to give back to my brother who’s willing to give up everything for me.” he says, irritation clear on his voice.

He turns and hails a cab. I can feel my hand go cold at the sight of him leaving. I blame myself for provoking him. He will never love me as much as he loved her.

The only real bargain in falling in love, especially if the other person does not feel the same way, is getting hurt.

I open the door of my apartment and turn to Tae Woong. Listening to the tone of his voice while talking to his brother at the dinner, I know he’s brushing victory on Yoon Jae’s face. I’ve been putting up with his attitude. He shouldn’t be proud that I chose him, while in my heart, it’s his brother I’ve always wanted to be with.

“Won’t you let me come in?” he says.

“No. I have to finish my work. Go ahead, it’s already late.”

He smiles, the one that tries so hard to make me forget what he did.

“Goodnight.”

I just nod and go inside. I lean on the door after I close it. Truth is, I just gave him a chance because he’s sincere with his feelings. And now, I’m having a lot of regrets. I know I will never be happy if I don’t break free from him.

But the big question is when.

It’s one of these times when I just do nothing but stare at Kang Joon Hee and going back to the memories we once had. He sleeps on the couch peacefully like a child. A smile plays on my lips unknowingly. I could never ask for more from him. He’s everything a friend could ever be. I’ve proven it again today. The look in his eyes that wanted him to save me from my brother’s inquisition was clear. I don’t want anything more but to hug him tight and hold him, though he just made me mad on our walk home.

I spring from my seat and lean in to plant a small kiss on his forehead.

“Thank you for loving me, Joon Hee. Thank you.” I whisper. 

A/N: So far, I've only written two chapters. I'm looking forward to your comments, guys! Hope you like this fic. :)