EARLIER

Shi Won still clings on my back and I’m holding her legs for support. When we are away from her room, I set her down and we sit on a nearby bench.

“Yoon Jae-ah, I’m sorry.” she says, playing with her fingers and avoiding my eyes.

I look at her. “For what?”

There’s a short pause between us before she answers.

“For everything. You know, I don’t know how I feel. I’m giving your brother a chance that’s why I chose him. But…”

I become overwhelmed with the conviction of her own words. She keeps playing with her fingers while my heart races inside my chest.

But what? My mind wants the answer.

“Come on. Say it.”

“But I still like you.”

I fall into silence. I just look at her as if she just confessed a dirt secret. She stares right through my eyes. And suddenly guilt bites my heart.

“Shi Won-ah…”

“I’m telling you what’s real, Yoon Jae.”

“But you’re dating my brother. Don’t chase after me.”

She puts her lips. “I’m going to break up with him.”

“No!” I am surprised by the conviction in my voice. I sigh and try to calm myself a little. “Just be with him. You’re becoming too selfish.”

“Is it because of Joon Hee?”

I open my mouth but I can’t find my voice. That’s one question I find too hard to answer. Why she chose to talk about this just now was beyond my control. I look away from her eyes.

She punched my upper arm lightly.

“Yah, is it because of him?”

I shake my head. “No. And it’s none of your business.”

She springs from her seat and leaves me alone. I breathe out a sigh of relief as I see her walk away.

NOW

I look blankly at the stack of papers in front of me. The white sheets are urging me to work and to stop thinking of Joon Hee. The kiss we did kind of haunts me…and makes me happy at the same time. I’ve never felt so free. Yet at the back of my mind, I am hurting JoonHee. I’m driving him to confusion because of my own selfish desire. It seems like I’ll be losing the best friend that I’ve been keeping for years.

My eyes dart on my phone when it rings. I just stare at it blankly and let it ring. I know it’s Shi Won. I won’t answer it until she gives up calling me.

I slam my phone on the bed in frustration. Yoon Jae isn’t picking up any of my calls. I know I offended him with what I said a while ago, and I want to make it up to him. He’s still my friend, setting aside the fact that I have feelings for him. I munch on my food while Tae Woong curiously stares at me.

“Are you alright?” he asks me.

I nod half-heartedly. “I’m fine. Just eat.” I say dismissively.

“”Is it Yoon Jae? Tell him to come and have lunch with us.”

“No. I don’t want to. Maybe he’s not here anymore.”

Or maybe he left for work. I don’t know. I imagine myself shaking in front of him when he confronts me about my feelings.

Tae Woong puts kimchi in my bowl. I stare at him and he just grins like crazy.

“I can’t eat that. I’m already full.” he says.

I scowl and eat his kimchi without a second thought. Guilt washes over me when I realize that he loves me so much. He’s always looking after me like he might lose me anytime. I wonder what would become of him when I leave him for Yoon Jae.

I grab my phone again and call him. No luck. He doesn’t pick up my call. I flinch when the door suddenly opens.

“Joon Hee-ah.” I say, his name hanging in mid-air. I didn’t expect him to come here.

He sits beside me on the bed. “The doctor said you can be discharged an hour from now. I just want to tell you to get ready.”

I give him a small smile. I notice the red marks on his neck and flash an evil smile.

“What?” he says, as if I’m seeing a dirt on his face. I pout at his neck.

“What’s that?”

He gets what I mean and shifts his weight a bit to hide his neck.

“It’s nothing.” He says.

Tae Woong locks his eyes with mine and I can see he’s into my little game. I lunge at him and force his neck to turn sideways. The red kiss mark is fresh. He’s just been kissed not an hour ago.

When I’m done tickling and Tae Woong laughing, Joon Hee stands up and massages his neck. I ask him a somewhat intrusive question.

“Did your girlfriend do that?”

He averts his eyes from me and touches his neck even more.

“No. It’s just a scratch. Don’t mind it.”

I nod, while my mind comes up with a suspicion that Joon Hee and Yoon Jae met up earlier somewhere in this hospital.