And just like that, he leaves without a word.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. The sound of his footsteps fading from the room breaks my heart, leaving all the pieces scattered everywhere. When he kisses me on the forehead, I accept that what happened between us last night will never happen again. Ever. And it dawns on me that I have to deal with the pain alone.

A tear rolls down my cheeks when I open my eyes. I can feel him everywhere. Beside me, on the walls, ceiling, windows and even in the air. The tingling feel of his arms around me and his lips on mine are still smoking fresh in my mind. Clearly it’s the best night I ever had, though he was under the influence of alcohol, and me savoring my fantasies-turned-reality. I don’t know how it all began. And I don’t want it to end… if it happens again.

I get up from the bed and realize I have no clothes on. My body is tired from last night. We must have made it that big, gone through the limits, poured it all out. I curl into a ball. Our love making will bring a big change in our friendship. It will never be the same again…

I’m not really in the mood to attend my duty today but I had no choice. I check myself one more time in the mirror, hoping that the kiss marks are hidden by my clothes. But some of them are too obvious to hide. I scratch the marks to make them look like mosquito bites.

Everything is the same as usual in the hospital. Work goes on, distracting me from Yoon Jae and the ordeal I’ve gone through. I’m going over some lab results when a nurse approaches me.

“Kang Joon Hee?”

“Yes?” I say, looking up from the documents.

“A certain Sung Shi Won is looking for you. She’s at room 527.” she answers.

“Okay, thank you.” I say and sprint to the room number she said just now.

I open the door just in time to see Shi Won awake, lying on the bed and talking to Tae Woong. She seems weak and tired.

“Oh, Joon Hee-ah!” she smiles and waves at me.

I gently close the door and sit on her bed.

“What happened?” I say, concern cracking through my voice.

She grins. “The doctor said I’m just stressed from work. I need a lot of rest.”

Tae Woong speaks up. “She’s been working too hard recently. I keep on telling her to rest for a while. But you know, she’s too hard-headed.”

Shi Won slaps his shoulder. He groans in pain and she glares at him.

“Yah, I get some sleep sometimes.”

I examine her eyes closely. The dark circles under her eyes just got darker.

“No, you don’t.” Then I laugh. She grits her teeth and folds her arms over her chest.

Yoon Jae comes in minutes after I got in. Shi Won grins at him like nothing happened. If my voice cracks with concern, his face is etched with the same emotion. Clearly, vividly.

“Come in.” she says.

There’s one thing that I’ll always love about Shi Won: it’s her ability to smile in dire circumstances. Yoon Jae walks toward us.

“What happened?” he asks.

She rolls her eyes then taps my arm.

“Explain it to him.”

“She’s just stressed from work so she fainted at the studio. The doctor wants her to rest.” I say.

His eyes narrow into slits, making him cuter in my eyes. Plus his lips are pressed in a hard line. But he’s looking at her, not at me.

“Now sleep.”

“I’ve already slept for two hours already. I’m energized.” she says.

“No, you have to sleep. Do you want to faint again?”

Her voice becomes stern. “Yah Yoon Yoon Jae, don’t you dare boss me around!”

There seems to be another war going on. Yoon Jae retorts.

“I’m just looking after you. If you want to die, I’m making a grave for you now.”

He walks away after saying that. Tae Woong and I are silent as we lend our ears to them.

“Where are you going?” she asks.

“I’m going to dig a grave. Just for you.” he answers without looking at her.

“Yah!” She stands up from her bed and rides on his back. She pulls his hair while he tries to get rid of her. Tae Woong and I laugh at them, so old, yet acting like children.

Then I see that spark between them. I wonder how long it will take for me to stop myself from hurting over the same thing.

I put my hands on the pockets of my lab gown while looking at the city below me. I’m on the rooftop waiting for Yoon Jae to arrive. I told him that I’ll be meeting him here to talk about what happened last night.

But thinking about it now, I’m starting to get afraid.

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear footsteps approaching me. I turn and see Yoon Jae, his face streaked with a smile. He pats my shoulder and I give him a small smile in return.

“What do you want to talk about?” he asks me.

I notice the collar of his shirt is somewhat askew. I lay my hands on it and fix it while answering him. “About what happened between us last night.”

His eyes look to the ground after I’m done fixing his collar. It’s obvious that I rendered him speechless.

“Oh.”

“Why did you do it?” I say.

He looks at me, eyes wrapped in weakness like a child. It takes him a few beats to answer me.

“I was drunk. I didn’t mean to, it’s just that the alcohol drove me crazy. I’m sorry, Joon Hee-ah.”

Sorry. That seems to be the hardest word. He doesn’t know how many times I’ve dreamed of that to happen; that he’d touch me more than his usual touch as a friend; that maybe, just maybe, I can be good enough for him.

“Is that all you’ve got to say?” I ask him.

He throws both of his arms around me. I almost lose my balance while I’m standing and the balance to where my feelings for him are standing.

“I’m sorry…again.” he whispers in my ear. But all I hear is ‘Do you love me?’ again and again. It doesn’t stop.

I break free from him and match my eyes to his. He’s so sincere that I melt into them. I nod.

He turns and walks away from me but I ask him another question.

“Can you, by any chance, love me more than a friend?”

His eyes linger on me than a second later he storms to my direction and fits his mouth to mine. My eyes widen but I succumb to the intoxicating feeling of his lips on me. He holds my cheeks in his hands.

Another reply that took my heart away.

Does this mean he’s giving up on Sung Shi Won?