AUGUST 2015

“Dr. Kang, you are being summoned for surgery in the OR.” says a nurse the moment she opens the door of my office. I instantly get up and don my white gown. The constant buzz of footsteps running to and fro around the hospital floors is enough to keep me distracted. There’s a lot of things going on that I can’t handle.

The last ten years came like a blur. After leaving Yoon Jae, I moved in with Hyeon Jae. Together, we finished Medicine and passed the boards. He became my best friend. Detaching myself from Yoon Jae was easier than I thought.

I had no contact with either Yoon Jae or Shi Won. As much as I want to catch up with them, I remember my last conversation with her, and decided not to see her just yet. Her last words to me created a great amount of excess baggage inside me. They’re too heavy to let go. As with Yoon Jae, I still get to think of him at rare occasions. I hate it, but along with that hatred is the longing to see him again.

The surgery ends eight hours later. I admit it was a tough one. My patient, a man in his forties suffering from a damaged liber, will be doing well in the next twenty-four hours. I’m glad I did something to save his life. I informed his daughter about his condition and she hugged me tight.

“Thank you, Dr. Kang. My father is all I have. I don’t want to lose him yet.” she said.

I kissed her forehead and told her that everything will be okay.

Hyeon Jae grinned when I enter my office. He holds out a slice of pizza for me.

“Where did that come from?” I ask.

“It’s from Dr. Lee. You know, the hot doctor down there. She has a thing for you.”

“Yeah, that woman. But whatever.” I say.

She likes you. It’s different when she looks at me. It’s purely flat. More business-like. When she looks at you, she sees fireworks. All lights and colors. Boom!”

He puts the pizza in my mouth. I take a bite and hold it.

“Eat some, Joon Hee. I want you to have the strength to date her.”

I roll my eyes. “Go and date her, Min Hyeon Jae. You know who’s engraved in my heart.”

He wiggles his eyebrows. “Do you still love him?”

“I…” I start. I bite my pizza, taking my time to answer him.

But then, in the slightly ajar door, I see Yoon Jae and Shi Won pass by, his arm slung around her shoulder to guide her slow-paced walking. A familiar ache tears up my heart.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” I say to Hyeon Jae.

I never stopped loving him, I want to add.