With a little bit of hope, she mumbled Jongdae’s name onto Luhan’s lifeless body. Calling out for Jongdae seemed hopeless now that she was really alone. She held Luhan closer – tighter—as she sobbed softly.

‘Jongdae, where the hell are you?’ she whimpered as her hands were shaking uncontrollably.

The pressure was too much. Her heart was beating frantically. Her palms and forehead were sweaty and she couldn’t handle everything spinning around. Her lower body was numb – her legs were dripping blood.

She could feel loss. If that was even possible to explain.

It was nearing midnight, and even if the ticking of the clock would indicate another start of a day, she couldn’t care. It seemed like her days have officially stopped on the ledge – she didn’t want another day.

She didn’t know what to expect anymore. The worst was probably near and so she decided that it was best not to get her hopes up. Nothing would fall into their right places anyway.

She heard shuffling noises from the left side of the area. Not wanting to hold onto her breath anymore (she deemed that holding her breath only made it more difficult to concentrate), she mustered up her courage to speak, ‘Jongdae?’

She sniffed back her tears. Crying was the least of her options.

Nothing. No one.

She heard a slight creeking sound and her eyes darted almost immediately to her left.

‘Baby?’, a whisper made its way to her ear and she immediately doubted her sanity. Maybe she was crazy. Or maybe not.

‘J-Jongdae, is that y-you?’, her voice was threatening to crack, but then she needed to be strong. She couldn’t stand up, and if the circumstances forbid, she knew she was in definite trouble.

‘Kat, I’m here,’ the familiar voice said.

Or maybe she was in heaven?

She didn’t respond. She was too scared to even say anything. Her chances were slim, right?

After a short while, she felt arms surrounding her. Never had she been terrified of an embrace as now.

‘Kat! Oh my god, baby, are you okay?!’ Jongdae’s worried voice tainted the silent air as he shook her slightly and made her face him. He pulled her body away from Luhan’s as he stared in shock. She was clutching onto Luhan’s shirt and it took a while for her to realize that Jongdae was taking her away from Luhan.

He could feel every bit of her shaking body as she gasped for air – something Jongdae was utterly horrified of. It seemed like she was having some sort of attack, and he wasn’t sure if he could keep himself calm at the sight.

‘Baby, breathe, I’m here, Kat. I’m here,’ he tried to soothe her but then he knew he could only do so much. He felt horrible after arriving maybe just a little too late to save Luhan.

‘Oh my god, J-Jongdae. L-Luhan! Oh my god, he’s dead!’ she cried uncontrollably, as if releasing her pent up feelings. Her face contorted in pain as she tugged her chest – she was way too out of her normal state and he knew that she would collapse any time soon.

But then he saw her lower body and he couldn’t be more shocked.

‘Kat! You’re bleeding! What happened to you?! Did Kris hurt you?!’ he was fuming as he practically felt all his air being out. He hadn’t seen much blood on her his whole life and it frightened him beyond extent.

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t even look at him. As he was about to reach out to rub her back, she yelped painfully.

‘Aa-aah,’ she croaked as she shut her eyes in pain. It sent shivers down his spine as he watched her little hands clasping onto his shirt helplessly.

‘K-Kat.. Katherine, are you okay? Baby, p-please tell me what’s wrong..’ he whispered, his hands ensuring the sides of her waist as if he was hoisting her up even though she was still sitting on the ground.

She didn’t say a word. It left his heart beating frantically off his chest.

‘I-it’s gone..’ she whispered breathlessly as she held onto his arms for support. Without second thought, she sobbed uncontrollably as she felt her world crashing down.

‘I’m sorry, baby, I was too late,’ he soothed, as he was on the verge of shedding his own tears. The guilt was too much for him to take. He knew he should’ve never hesitated to nor stopped until he found her, but he was too late.

‘Y-you.. don’t understand.. he.. she.. gone,’ she sobbed. Her chest was heaving in a fast rhythm as she tried to comprehend to what she was saying. Seemed like none of her words made sense to her as well.

With furrowed brows, he sniffed back his tears, ‘she? Baby, what are you saying?’

Though he knew it was something painful, he still had the feeling that he needed to know.

Without much hesitation, she looked up to him and he saw the most painful thing that he could inside her dark brown eyes.

‘Katherine..’

‘J-Jongdae, oh my god I’m so s-sorry..’

‘Hey.. don’t say that, Kat, please stop crying..’

‘Jongdae, it’s gone.. my b-baby’s gone..’ she huffed as she buried her face onto the crook of his neck. Shock quickly tainted his face as he felt a painful twist inside his chest.

‘Baby?.. we had..’ he sighed heavily, not believing what he was hearing.

‘N-no.. I was.. Jongdae..’ she sobbed even harder as she gasped for air. It was all coming down to this. She needed to know what he felt about it. And judging by the way his brows knotted in confusion, she knew she was bound to be hurt.

‘W-what?’ was his breathless question.

She was looking at him with blurry eyes, as she tried to face him with much sincerity as she could.

‘Katherine.. w-why are you backing away from me?’ he asked, hand reaching out to touch her. She flinched before she came in contact with his finger.

‘Because I’m not.. her anymore..’ she said, eyes glinting with sadness. It was true, she wasn’t that same Katherine as before.

She became a mother in less than a month. She became a jealous lover. She became independent in a way, yet dependent in another. There were thirty days in a month and yet she managed to make things happen more than they should.

Bowing her head down in utter shame, she hoped for the worst. She was accepting that fact that Jongdae wouldn’t want to be with her anymore and it was starting to grow on her.

Strong surges were flowing inside his body, a lot of what ifs ignited a lot of unpleasant feelings to stir up inside him.

What if he had killed Kris before Luhan died? Maybe then, things would’ve been less painful for Katherine. Seeing her hurt like this was thrice as painful for him.

He couldn’t stand her tears. He wanted to wipe them all away – to make her forget how hurt she was. But he couldn’t – he wasn’t able to.

And now she was saying that she was pregnant. Something should stir up more inside his chest, right? It was painful, yes, to be betrayed by his lover. But she did nothing wrong. He knew she was taken advantage of, but still it hurts him.

Why? It wasn’t like it was his fault. It wasn’t like he was the father of the unborn child that disappeared into a bed of blood. But why did it hurt him so much?

And that’s when he caught the sight of her pained face. It was too much for him. It hurt him that she was hurt.

Because he really loves her so much. So much to the point that he’s willing to accept everything that she is. Whether there’s a baby for him to take responsibility of or not, he knew right then that he’d still be willing to.

Because he loves her that he’s willing to do anything for her.

‘Katherine, baby, come here..’ he choked on his tears. It was becoming unbearable for him to see her cry so much. She lost her baby. It didn’t even matter if the baby was his – what matters is that the baby was hers. It was evident in her eyes – that even though she kept on apologizing to him – that she was in pain of losing her child.

‘Baby, I love you,’ he whispered as he wrapped his arms securely around her. She was still sobbing – eyes and nose still red. He needed to make her stop crying. Her tears were hurting him as it reminded him that he was late.

‘I love you so so much, Katherine, you don’t even know..’ he whispered breathlessly. Tears trickled down his cheeks as he held her tightly. He didn’t want to lose sight of her anymore. A month was enough. No more, he begged.

‘I’m so sorry, Jongdae.. I didn’t know how to tell you.. I was s-scared,’ she answered, voice cracking. He shook his head, ‘it’s not important now, Kat. I’m here and I’ll take you out of this place.’

‘But.. Kris,’

‘Baby?’

Silence. Tears started to flow from her eyes as she watched the man in front of her take a small velvet box from his pocket.

‘This isn’t the perfect time, Katherine Oh, but will you be my wife?’

Silence.

She sobbed harder as she pressed herself towards his chest. She was sobbing so hard and Jongdae was waiting and waiting.

‘Yes, of course, yes!’ she cried, pulling him down for a longing kiss. Jongdae’s cheeks were stained with his own tears. He quickly slipped the diamond ring in her finger and kissed the back of her hand as she watched him lovingly. Although the pain in her abdomen was still there, she ignored it – this was still the best proposal ever.

‘That’s the only reassurance I need, Katherine,’ he said. ‘I’m here and I’ll do anything for you. I love you,’ he added.

He stood up, wrapped his arms under her small body, and lifted her up. He was looking for the exit when he heard a loud bang. Flustered, he quickened his pace before he settled Katherine down behind a tall, secluded pillar. She began shaking as she shut her eyes tightly upon hearing another bang.

Slurred voices tainted the air as they heard someone shouting from a distance.

‘Ssh,’ Jongdae gestured as he brought a finger to his lips. His eyes becoming dark, he held onto Katherine as tight as he could. He didn’t want to lose her. No, he wouldn’t lose her to someone like Kris. He’ll kill if he has to – just to protect her.

‘Jongdae, no, p-please, stay here,’ she said. She didn’t want him to leave her but it wasn’t because she was scared that she’ll be left alone. She was more scared for Jongdae’s safety. If Kris had managed to do that (she couldn’t manage to think about it) to Luhan, she was sure that he won’t hesitate to do that to Jongdae – much to their situation at present.

‘No, Kat, listen to me okay? I need you to stay right here. Do not come out whatever happens. Do you understand me?’ he shook her lightly, ‘answer me, Katherine.’

It was eating him up inside. The anger was strong, so strong that he knew he’d kill Kris with no hesitation. His hold was shaking, his breathing was ragged. He was angry – at himself, and mostly at Kris. How dare he?

He was terrified. He was scared for Katherine. The lady wasn’t even supposed to be involved in any of this. If he had been a little more careful before, they wouldn’t have ended here.

If he only just gave Katherine to Kris. She was Kris’ to begin with.

But no, he shook the thought off, there was no way he’d let her be with someone as uncaring as Kris – even if he was his best friend or not.

The past was slowly coming to life. He had known that Kris would react naturally like this the moment he finds out that he’s been cheated on by Jongdae.

What he didn’t know was that he’ll go as far as killing Luhan and hurting Katherine. He’s truly gotten crazy – well at least to Jongdae, he is.

Sides were fighting inside Jongdae’s chest. Was it his fault? He had loved Katherine with all his heart, so why would fate let them end up in the situation they were in? He didn’t mean to take her away – he just didn’t want Kris to make her fall in love with him and then he’ll just exchange her for the unending work that he has.

Katherine was someone special for Jongdae to begin with. He surely didn’t want Katherine to end up broken hearted by Kris.

But then he didn’t mean to betray his best buddy as well.

Things grew complicated as hell. How would he fix things now that they’re all messed up?

‘Katherine!’ the voice grew strangely louder, and that was when Jongdae’s reverie was disturbed. He looked down and Katherine was looking at him with expectant eyes. The glimmering of her eyes gave her away.

She was terrified. And hurt. And then Jongdae was hurt as well.

She could feel Jongdae’s disappearing figure. She in air. She didn’t want to face it – that Jongdae just left her alone to handle someone who was probably not in his normal state of mind.

It made her sweat – the thought of Jongdae getting hurt. If it was her, she’d be okay with it, but Jongdae? She couldn’t handle the thought of seeing Jongdae hurt. No, she loves him too much to let him get hurt.

But then, she could only do so much. She was hurt herself – and now that her baby was gone, it left her more alone. If that was even possible.

‘Took you long enough, you son of a ,’ Kris said sharply. For the first time, Jongdae felt his hair stand up with Kris’ voice.

‘I don’t know what you’re thinking, Kris, but you’re not.. you anymore.’

Kris chuckled. Of course he wasn’t him anymore.

‘What made you think that I’d give her up so easily, Jongdae? She was mine to begin with,’ Kris faced Jongdae with red eyes, cluthing onto the hand gun in his hand. Jongdae gulped.

He was willing to take things down if he had to.

‘I’m sorry, Kris. For all it’s worth-‘

‘I don’t need your ing apology, Jongdae! Why?! Why her?! Of all, Jongdae, of all people, it had to be her?!’

‘You,’ Kris chuckled shamelessly, ‘didn’t mean to?’ Kris smirked as he eyed Jongdae.

‘Have you ever considered telling her the truth, Jongdae?’

Time seemed to freeze for Jongdae and Katherine as they couldn’t believe what they were hearing.

‘Kris..’ Jongdae calls out softly, as if pleading.

She wasn’t sure if she was hearing right, but whatever the case was, it was making her heart pound so loudly that it was starting to hurt.

‘Have you ever told her why your interests were exactly the same as hers? Or why and how she have come to love you ‘lemon and lime’ body soap?’

Enough, she called within herself. She wasn’t liking what she was hearing.

‘Or how your book preferences always matched with hers?’

No, her inner self pleads her not to listen. But she still listens anyway.

‘Did she ever come to know that the man she loved because they were ‘so similar to each other’ actually wasn’t the one she thought to be?’

What?

No, please close your ears, Kat.

Kris was accusing him of a crime he’s done: stealing Kris’ personality.

‘Really?’ she asked, trying to conceal her little excitement.

‘Is he the same one with the favorite book as I have? Or the one whose favorite color is blue like mine?’ she asked with a shy smile on her face and a soft blush tainting her cheeks.

Jongdae nodded, maybe it’s about time to tell Katherine about his best friend’s crush on her?

‘Yeah,’ he rubbed the back of his neck, ‘he’s the same person I’ve been telling you about.’

‘Really? May I know who?’ she asked, her eyes glinting with excitement as she was anticipating Jongdae’s answer.

Jongdae’s heart sank a little. Why was it hard for him to tell her that Kris has a crush on her?

‘Uh, actually..’ he started, fighting with the many questions running through his mind. Looking up, he saw her curious eyes looking through him and he just found himself.. falling harder.

‘Actually.. that guy is..’

‘Is?’

‘Is me, Katherine. I have a crush on you, miss Oh,’ he said quietly, hoping she didn’t hear it.

But her wide smile and red cheeks told him otherwise.

-KATHERINE-

‘Let’s end this,’ Jongdae whispered as he cocked his gun and pointed it to Kris. Kris remained unfazed as he looked at Jongdae straight in the eyes.

‘Why? Feeling guilty, Jongdae? Are you finally realizing that if you hadn’t stolen my identity, she would’ve loved me and not you?’

Jongdae’s fist clutched the gun so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.

‘I know you want her to yourself, Jongdae, that’s why..’ Kris hands down his gun.

The two men looked at her with different expressions.

Kris looked at her with indifference while Jongdae looked at her with shock.

She took notice of the gun that was in Jongdae’s hand and the way Kris seemed not to care at all.

‘Katherine..’ Jongdae calls, almost about to drop the gun when they heard Kris speak.

‘No, don’t, Jongdae. Let her watch as you get rid of me.’

Katherine watches as Jongdae looks at her with a certain kind of guilt in his eyes. She wasn’t sure if it’s because of what she’s just heard or because of what was bound to happen.

Taking a closer step towards Jongdae, Katherine manages to push back her tears as she stared at Jongdae’s eyes in understanding.

Not minding that Kris was still in the room, he let Katherine take the gun away from his hand – like a reminder of what he has become: someone who was willing to kill for a mistake he has committed.

‘Katherine, baby, I’m so so sorry-‘

‘Ssh,’ she put her finger in his trembling lips as she sniffed back her tears. She needed to be strong.

They heard Kris clapping and chuckling like a madman.

‘How sweet,’ Kris started. Jongdae couldn’t read Katherine’s stoic expression as she looked at Kris.

‘After all that Jongdae has done, you still forgive him, Katherine?’ he mocked, and it made Jongdae’s blood boil.

Now that the gun was unknowingly in her possession, she was left with two things: either to shoot Kris or to somehow threaten him by pointing the gun to herself.

She knew she was being unfair to Jongdae, but she couldn’t waste the chance.

She stealthily whispered to Jongdae’s ear, ‘forgive me, baby, okay?’

She saw the panic in Jongdae’s eyes as he heard what she had said. She hushed him by placing her finger in his lips.

‘Yes, I do, Kris,’ she said as she walked slowly towards Kris. Jongdae held her hand tightly, not wanting to let her go. But she yanked her hand away and Jongdae couldn’t do anything but to trust her.

She saw Kris’ rigid figure trembling in what she assumed was anger.

Good, she said mentally, get him worked up, Katherine.

‘Kat..’ she could hear Jongdae’s desparate pleas in her back but she ingnored it. There was one thing left to do.

His heart was beating so fast now and he doubted if he would make it out alive by what Katherine was doing.

‘Because I love him,’ he heard her say and it automatically made his heart skip a huge beat.

‘Kat-‘

He was stunned as she turned around to face him, gun in her hands as if she was ready to shoot.

‘A month was all I need to realize that I’d be willing to do anything for you, Jongdae.’

Click. Bang.

‘NO!’ his lips shouted, as he stared at Kris’ falling figure.

Just then, police sirens could be heard as policemen started to barge into the area.

Everything went in slow motion for him as he could only hear slurred words.

‘She has a gun!’

‘Man down! Man down!’

‘She’s bleeding!’

‘KATHERINE!’ he shouted as he struggled past the strong restraining arms of the policemen.

With sadness in her eyes, she cocked the gun and shot him in the shoulder.

‘Take her away!’

‘MOVE!’

The pain in his left shoulder was nothing compared to the ache he was feeling inside his heart. He could only watch as she was being handcuffed by the policemen.

Not wanting to believe, he saw Katherine take off her wedding ring and stealthily threw it on the floor.

The ringing of the sirens brought pain into his heart. His shoulder was bleeding but all he could feel was the shattering pieces inside his chest. He was slowly taken to the ambulance as he struggled free.

Police have concluded murder and Jongdae’s and Katherine’s names were under the spotlight unless a witness steps up and clears their name.

Jongdae has been unable to attend trials as his schedules in the hospital wouldn’t permit, not when he was scheduled for a major surgery.

‘Did you kill mister Wu Yifan?’

The attorney’s question made Jongdae hard to breathe. He was watching Katherine through television and it made his heart break even more now that she was facing this alone.

He held his breath as they waited for an answer.

‘Yes.’

For five months, Jongdae finally let his eyes shed tears.

He was in pain.

‘No..’ he whimpered alone. Tears flowing freely down his cheeks, he sniffed back his sobs as he watched helplessly.

‘Are you by any chance related with mister Kim Jongdae?’

Jongdae felt his heart stop. Please, Katherine, please. You don’t have to do this alone. We promised forever together.

They waited. And waited. A tear slid down Katherine’s eyes.

‘I do not know any one by the name of Kim Jongdae.’

END

I don't know if this is the ending you wanted, but this is what was planned :( I'm so sorry guys T^T It's angst :(

I know this chapter's two months late, but here it is :( I hope you.. enjoyed(?) it somehow.

I really had fun writing this and I cried at this last chapter because it hurt me :'( Thank you guys for staying tuned with me and my crappy updates. I love you all to bits and pieces and see you on my next fics! (After Every Dawn and Acquiescence) ^^

This story means a lot to me since I've never written something as emotional as this one since I was just exploring. But being with you guys and all your lovely and funny as hell comments inspired me to finish this. So.. this has been "A Month of Kim Jongdae".

I hope you liked it guys~ ♥ I really hope you don't hate me :(

-Labyrinthine V