‘Katherine!’ Jongdae called out to her when she was almost out of the company gates. With startled eyes and slightly tinted cheeks, she turned around, knowing well enough whom the voice belonged to.

‘Jongdae-ssi,’ she replied – more of whispered. She would automatically be a blushing mess whenever he was around and as much as she wanted to know why as well, the reason was just that unknown.

He smiled at her, and for the infinite time, she wondered how could she have survived a heart attack whenever he did. His smile was something she had never seen, and seeing it every day was a pleasant view indeed.

‘Just call me Jongdae, miss Oh, I’m just a few years older than you,’ he joked and chuckled, in which she did too in return. Rubbing the back of his neck, he stated his reason of calling her, ‘mind having coffee with me?’

‘What?’ she asked almost too quickly that it made her blushing worsen even more in embarrassment. He only meant an amused chuckle, though, ‘I was thinking that maybe you’d like to have coffee with me,’ while rubbing the back of his neck. She could only stare at him with widened eyes, not that she’s done differently for the past two minutes.

‘But if you don’t it’s totally fine,’ he said and smiled and turned to leave.

She chirped out, ‘I’d love to-‘ and was faced by a hopeful smile by the man, ‘have coffee with.. you, Jongdae-ssi.’ She fiddled with her fingers and hoped that he wouldn’t find her weird. When she saw he was approaching her back, she quickly fixed her composure and tried to smile.

‘Great! Let’s go,’ he said and tugged on her hand. All the butterfly feelings she’s been having whenever she saw Jongdae came churning inside her stomach. But she couldn’t care less as her attention was solely on their interlocked hands.

‘You do like coffee, don’t you, Kat?’ he asked.

‘I love coffee,’ she said. How weird must she have sounded? She didn’t know as well. But what the hell, if it were to open a conversation with him, she couldn’t care less.

‘Great, I know a good place.’

She went out and still, the man she had wanted to kiss since yesterday wasn’t there in the bed. Or inside the room for that matter. She went down to check – maybe he was just chatting with Suho or playing golf with him.

Anything. Just anything to know that he was inside the house. Or the vicinities of it, even.

She didn’t like the feeling yesterday. She didn’t want to lose sight of him. They had barely established their ‘new life’ together and he was already slipping away. If this were to happen, she just hoped that both of them never left Korea. At least he took care of her there and didn’t leave her side.

‘I am, Suho. I’ll be back soon,’

‘Oh no, it’s fine. Stay as long as you want outside,’ it should’ve sounded like an encouragement, but it came out like he was more pleased by the fact that she was going out. She stopped for a moment to look at Suho, and the man, upon realizing how bad it must have sounded, quickly beamed at her, ‘just kidding, Kat! You know I don’t mean that!’ he laughed in hopes that she would too, but she just frowned.

She took a glance on her phone. There were no calls nor text messages even, and she grumbled in annoyance. Two can play that game, Kim Jongdae. Although her heart hurt a bit from the thought that he left her yet again despite their current issue which she tried to remind herself that just occurred last night, she didn’t want to lower down her pride. Not when he was the one at fault.

‘Hold on a sec, Andi, she’s calling,’

The woman in front of him nodded eagerly as she did a gesture of zipping shut. She couldn’t help but giggle though, as is she was a child who had been tasked to keep a secret.

She let out a sigh. Finally. With mixed emotions, she asked, ‘Where are you?’ She tried to sound composed, but she doubted if she did.

‘I uh- sorry if I didn’t tell you sooner, Kat, I’m with Chanyeol and Xiumin. You know the boys,’ he chuckled. Something about it sounded off, but for some reason,

she still believed him. She didn’t even get to tell him that she had forgiven him, and yet it felt like he already knew. But knowing that Jongdae was with the boys, she felt relieved than mad at him.

‘Okay, baby, enjoy! Love you,’ and then the call was cut. She smiled still – knowing that he was with guys now. Anything – anywhere was fine, only if he was either alone or accompanied by men. Not that she hated the thought of him being with women, though.

‘Where’s Kris?’ he asked as he entered the warehouse. The place got dusty and dustier each time he entered and it made him cringe. The place was a mess! The place being a mess was even an understatement.

‘Haven’t heard?’ Baekhyun started, as he played with his phone, ‘he won’t come back here. Ever.’ Luhan sighed, ‘if I were him, I won’t come back here ever too.’

‘Said he’s leaving town, you know, to ‘clear up some matters,’’ Baekhyun quoted. Luhan scoffed, ‘it’s about time,’ but stopped, ‘what did you say?’

‘Duizhang said he’s leaving the country to handle some unfinished business. You know him, just the usual,’ this time, it was Kai who interjected. Luhan furrowed his brows, ‘but he didn’t tell me anything.’

‘Of course he wouldn’t. He probably knew you would stop him if he did. Said it wasn’t important anyway, and that he’d be back in a blink of an eye.’ The other members each reacted in a manner of their own, but Luhan just stood there, confused as ever. Something just wasn’t right.

Of course she’d get lost! She was only there for few days and yet she had the guts to roam around like she knew the country at the back of her eyes.

‘Uh, Suho, I think I’m lost?’ she half-stated and half-asked. It was embarrassing enough that she had to call Suho for help.

‘Don’t worry! My address is saved there. Think you could follow it back home?’

Something inside her nodded, but something greater wanted her to explore more – to at least familiarize herself with her new environment. So even if Suho’s advice was the best one to follow, she still didn’t.

How lucky, she thought. It was already twelve noon and her tummy started to grumble. Not knowing what good place to eat at, she hesitantly asked some by passers for some directions. Given that she spoke clear English, she managed through a lot of curious looks by the ones she had asked directions to.

She arrived at a nearby mall, to her relief. She could start with malls. Yes, she could.

Upon entering, she was greeted with polite security guards who bowed their heads slightly in recognition to her foreign complexion. How nice. She never knew that Filipinos were of good manners – not that anyone had told her before, though.

‘Good noon, ma’am!’ greeted one of the guards. She smiled in return, ‘good noon.’

She stood out a bit, given her pale complexion and her slightly above-average height. But she didn’t mind though, and just enjoyed strolling inside. She was hoping to run across a bubble tea shop, but it seemed like Filipinos weren’t fond of bubble tea. She went for a quick stop at Starbucks, instead. After getting her beverage with much ease, she began her ‘tour’ around the mall.

How she wanted Jongdae to be with her at the moment and tour her around. But it was okay to her, still. At least she would be able to develop some of her independent skills. She couldn’t count on Jongdae for the rest of her life after all.

A few stares were thrown at her and she caught some boys’ attentions, but overall, she had her alone time at peace.

Though a call or text from Jongdae wasn’t considered ‘peace’ for her. Thinking about Jongdae, she couldn’t help but wonder why the hell she hadn’t received anything from him so far. She grabbed her phone from her back pocket, searched for his name, and dialed. She was missing him and she hoped just his voice would be able to make her smile.

‘Hello?’

‘I miss you too, babe,’ he replied with a shy smile. Andrea caught it and nudged at her friend’s elbow.

‘Where are you now?’ she asked, and he couldn’t help but crack a grin. She sounded lost and he felt a little proud that he was able to make her miss him. But at the same time, he was risking her trust on this so it better damn work.

‘Uh, you know, still with the guys,’ he joked as he looked around the glass displays of the shimmering pieces.

‘What are you guys doing?’ she asked again, and he wanted badly to tell her the truth but knew it was best not to at the moment.

‘Nothing much, but I’m thinking of you, though,’ he said it so casually but he knew she was blushing now. He smiled cheekily at Andrea and flashed a thumbs-up. The girl nodded in glee.

‘You’re so cheesy, you know that?’ Katherine commented on the other line, and he couldn’t help but smile, ‘true story, babe.’ Before she could speak, he asked, ‘you? Where are you now?’

‘I’m at a mall. Drinking coffee. Thinking about you, too,’ she whispered. Now he was the one who blushed in return.

‘You’re so cheesy yourself, young miss,’ he chuckled and so did she, ‘true story, baby.’

‘I’ll hang up now, babe, okay? See you later,’ he said, as he couldn’t wait to pick anymore. She hummed a ‘yes’ and ended the call.

‘How was it?’ Andrea asked, her voice excited.

Upon reaching the restaurant, though, she stopped on her tracks to take a better look of the one beside the window.

She found the man oddly familiar.

She took one step, then another, and then another.

She came into a conclusion that the whole world wasn’t by her side when she saw Kim Jongdae laughing happily as he sliced his food and took a bite. What was she watching? It wasn’t like it was her boyfriend, right?

It just couldn’t be. I couldn’t be Jongdae.

She tried her best to convince herself that maybe, she was just seeing things or that maybe, it was a different man. That maybe, he wasn’t the one she was seeing.

But ‘maybe’ isn’t enough to cut it. Maybes will remain maybes and the truth will just come out as bitter as it could get. Maybes aren’t meant for reassurance that even the people we trust most won’t hurt us.

In the end, it is still up to us whether we believe whatever we are told, or we seek the truth ourselves.

As if the sight of him with a her wasn’t bad enough, Katherine saw the woman hold his hand and smile at him lovingly. Is that.. Andrea? She mentally recalled Jongdae’s ‘I’m sorry’ as she fought her urge not to barge in and slap the hell out of him.

I’m sorry? He apologized a lot to her last night – or so he did as she remembered. Is this some kind of sick joke?

He smiled at her lovingly and to Katherine’s horror, he held her hand with his, too. She could literally feel her heart breaking into pieces as she watched her man touching another girl’s hand.

And to think I believed him when he said he was with the boys! A different level of anger was slowly building up inside her as she remained rooted on her spot. She wouldn’t burst now. No, she didn’t want to give Jongdae the chance to make another lame excuse and slap it across her face.

This time, ‘maybe’ isn’t enough. She just wasn’t up for that crap anymore. If he’s happy with this, then fine. She stormed off – more of wobbled off away from the place – away from that sickening sight that made her guts churn.

Is this what it feels like to hurt because of a loved one?

Her eyes were tear-stained, as well as her sheer blouse. If only she knew that this was some crap she was up to, she wouldn’t have agreed to a relationship. Opening the car’s door and slamming it shut, she vented all her frustrations out on the poor steering wheel. She sobbed, shouted, and groaned. All the sounds of pain and annoyance could be heard from her but she couldn’t care.

Trying one last time, just to make sure, she dialed his goddamn number.

‘Hi, Kat,’ he sounded off and nervous. Or just because she already knew made him sound off?

‘Hi, baby,’ she sniffed back the anger and tried to push it aside for now.

‘Are you alright? Have you been crying?’

It was a wonder he always knew when she was crying or not. It’s just plain bull that he didn’t know it was because of him this time.

‘I’m fine, babe, are you coming home soon?’ she asked, as she rubbed her runny nose with the sleeve of her sheer blouse.

‘Yeah, uh, I’m coming home in a few. Just catching up with friends, babe,’ he said it so confidently and it made her think, was that the way he told me he loves me?

‘Oh, okay, I’ll be home soon, see you,’ she replied.

‘See you, too, Kat. I love you,’

‘Love you too,’ she croaked before she ended the call immediately since she doubted if she could hold back another sob with the lump that was beginning to form in .

At the moment, she felt stupid. She wondered if he could lie about being with friends in front of her, would he be able to lie about his feelings as well?

Was every ‘I love you’ from him even real? She wiped her eyes off the tears that were constantly falling. Her chest hurt like hell and she couldn’t breathe. But she needed to get home.

Was his concern even genuine?

Was he even the Jongdae she had loved from the start?

She started the engine and drove off. She couldn’t possibly be at the same place that they were in, right? After all, she was a lady of class – she couldn’t possibly interrupt a beautifully shared moment, right?

‘No, thank you, Andi,’ he said politely as he landed his hand on top of hers. She laughed happily, ‘it’s no big deal, Jongdae.’

‘Still, I couldn’t have done it without you,’ he smiled lovingly, in both gratitude and glee.

‘It was my pleasure to help, Jongdae. I’m wishing the both of you a happy life together,’ she said as she clasped her hands to her chest. He couldn’t help but beam – that was what he wanted too, after what they have been through. Three years with Katherine were the best moments of his life – minus the agonizing two weeks of her absence, though.

‘Do you really think she’ll say yes?’ he got the small red box from the paper bag and examined the ring, ‘I mean, don’t you think it’s too early or-‘

‘Ssh, Jongdae, stop doubting yourself, will you?

‘This just feels so surreal, Andi. I never imagined myself asking her the question at this point of our lives. Everything’s just.. a blur,’ he said as he shook his head as if he wasn’t believing the sight of the ring which he personally bought.

‘What made you think that this was the time, Jongdae? What made you decide that ‘this is it?’

Before he could even answer, though, his phone rang. He looked at Andrea first before hitting the green button, ‘Hi, Kat.’ He mentally slapped himself, don’t be nervous, damn it.

‘Hi, baby.’ Was she running a cold? He could swear he heard her sniff.

‘Are you alright? Have you been crying?’ he couldn’t help but furrow his brows and he asked. Even if he wasn’t a genius, he knew her well.

‘I’m fine, babe, are you coming home soon?’

‘Yeah, uh, I’m coming home in a few. Just catching up with friends, babe,’ he turned to Andrea and smiled meaningfully as if he couldn’t express his gratitude enough. The woman nodded, and beamed letting know that she was happy for him.

‘Oh, okay, I’ll be home soon, see you.’

He couldn’t help but feel excited by the thought of going home to her. He just couldn’t wait anymore.

‘See you, too, Kat, I love you,’ he replied with a wide smile on his lips.

‘Love you too.’

He held the phone in his hands and smiled. That’s when he realized what the answer to Andrea’s question is.

‘She,’ he added, ‘she’s the reason why.’

Andrea smiled lovingly at him and held his hand once again, ‘I’m so happy for you, Jongdae. I’m so envious!’ He chuckled, but couldn’t help but take a pity on her, ‘I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Kris and you, Andi. It’s a real waste.’ She brushed the topic off as she laughed, ‘don’t sweat it! I’m happy with my life without him. I wouldn’t want to spend my life with a workaholic anyway.’ The two of them broke into laughter until it was finally time to go.

‘Thanks again, Andi,’ he said as he hugged her lightly.

‘No prob, Jongdae. Call me as soon as she says yes, okay?’ she said as she walked towards her car with her fist pumped up in the air. He could only chuckle.

She felt him kiss her head and she couldn’t help but flinch. No, Jongdae, don’t. She held back a sob, one painfully banging through in fear that he’ll find out that she was still awake.

‘I love you, baby,’ he whispered, his breath stained with the stench of wine which she assumed was a result of tonight’s dinner with Andrea. She mentally noted how she had come to despise someone she hasn’t even met. The words sounded sincere as it did to her ears for the past three years and it made her rethink her plan. But no, she couldn’t back out now.

Shutting her eyes tightly, she waited for him to fix his position and fall asleep. She didn’t hesitate to go on with her plan as she unwrapped herself of the blanket they have been sharing and kneeled down in front of him and held his hand – which was out of the bed.

She kissed the back of it and tears automatically rolled down her cheek.

‘I’m sorry, Jongdae,’ she whispered ever so softly with her lips brushing at the back of his hand, ‘I’m so so sorry.’

She had to hold back with all her might. She wanted to kiss him – to at least feel the warmth of his lips for the last time, but chose not to.

‘I can’t do this anymore,’ was the last thing she said before she grabbed her luggage and went headed for the door. Before shutting the door close, she whispered, ‘I love you, Jongdae,’ and headed out completely.

Chapter twenty-four, done :)

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P.S. My heart ached while I was writing this. T^T