Baekhyun sighed.

"Okay guys, now that I'm back and I'm sure you won't up this case, we have to get back to work."

Yixing's head snapped up.

"Let's get down to business," He started.

"TO DEFEAT THE HUNS." Luhan, Minseok, and Sehun chorused after him.

Junmyeon blinked.

"Who are the huns? Why are we defeating them?"

Luhan disdainfully sniffed in Junmyeon's general direction.

"I pity you and your pathetic childhood."

Kris picked up the hair dyeing kit.

"Who wants to go blonde?"

Junmyeon squinted at Kris.

Luhan sighed.

"Look, we need disguises and wigs are damn expensive these days."

"Can't I just-"

"OKAY NOT ALL OF US HAVE DOLLAR BILLS SHOOTING OUT OF OUR BUTTHOLES. YOU CAN'T JUST SLIDE A CREDIT CARD THROUGH YOUR CHEEKS AND EXPECT EVERYTHING TO BE FINE AND DANDY."

"What is he talking about?" Junmyeon asked Kris.

Kris shrugged and stared at the box a little longer.

"I'll go blonde," He decided. "I think I would look hot in blonde."

"But you can't act. At all." Minseok deadpanned.

Kris looked offended.

"I am a pretty good actor."

Baekhyun muttered,"Whatever makes you happy."

He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes.

Then his eyes snapped open and he barked,"Today's plan is a relatively simple one. Kyungsoo, you're going to need to talk to Jongin for this so kiss and make up. You're going to be a novice stripper and need Dongwoo's help. Jongin is your mentor person or something. I'm going to get Jinyoung to go over to the club where he works at and then we can set up a stage so Jinyoung will magically somehow fall in love with him, thanks to my magical matchmaking powers."

Kyungsoo screeched,"I refuse to work with-"

Minseok passionately shoved Kyungsoo out the door (with love, he clarified later).

Kyungsoo hesitantly stepped up to the address that Baekhyun had texted him.

It was a house, one with two stories and a neatly trimmed lawn.

He vaguely wondered why Jongin even needed to strip if he lived in a house like this.

He brushed the thoughts out of his head and rang the doorbell.

Jongin answered the door, brushing his sweaty bangs out of his face as he adjusted his school uniform.

Kyungsoo was hit with the realization of how young Jongin actually was.

Jongin flashed a brief smile.

"Baekhyun hyung texted me the plan. Lemme just get changed. Come inside?"

Kyungsoo hesitantly nodded and stepped in.

Jongin led the way up a winding staircase and into a wide room.

Random posters plastered the wall and clothes were thrown around haphazardly.

Kyungsoo stifled a laugh as he saw a massive poster of Girls' Generation.

He frowned when he saw the pile of random magazines and wrappers strewn across the floor and started to pick up some of the mess.

"So messy." He mumbled.

Jongin stuck his head out of his walk-in closet.

"Just leave them, the housekeeper will clean up later."

Kyungsoo imitated Jongin's haughty statement with exaggerated motions behind his back.

"There's a mirror in here, you know."

Kyungsoo slapped his arms down to his side and turned a dusty shade of red.

Jongin chuckled and stepped out, now dressed in a pair of loose sweatpants and a cut up tank top.

"Are you going to be pretending to strip in that?"

He pointed at Kyungsoo's jeans and casual shirt.

Kyungsoo shrugged. "What am I supposed to be stripping in, then?"

Several articles of clothing hit his face a few seconds later.

Kyungsoo looked at the revealing clothes and winced.

"Are you serious?"

Jongin rolled his eyes. "Do you want to be convincing?"

Kyungsoo looked at the bumps of muscle that could be seen through Jongin's tank top.

He stared down at his own stomach, which was sure to be pale, fleshy, and soft (alas, the tragedy of preferring to stay home and eat).

Jongin sighed. "Hyung, you're perfectly fine. Just hurry up and change."

Kyungsoo pulled off his shirt as fast as he could and tried to pull on the tank top, but it was tangled and Kyungsoo had to curse as he manuvered the soft fabric.

He heard an audible sound from Jongin.

He whipped around and glared.

"What? You said to change."

"Kyungsoo, just hurry up and put on your shirt."

"I know I'm fat."

Kyungsoo could feel tears pricking at his eyes.

"It's not that-"

Jongin groaned.

"-I just don't know if I can control myself."

Kyungsoo blushed. 

"And you're kind of blinding me with your stomach skin." Jongin finished in a rush.

Kyungsoo scowled and tugged on the tank top.

He felt a breeze over the top half of his body and stared down.

"Jongin. What the hell. Is this."

The tank top draped down to almost the middle of his chest and was full of tiny, cut out squares.

"Just put on your pants."

The pants were comfy, but alarmingly tight and had a suspicious stain running down one of the legs.

Kyungsoo wondered what Baekhyun was getting him into.

A/N: unedited.

been really really busy so here's a quick update.

thank you for being patient! pls comment/subscribe~