Minseok sighed.

On one end, Luhan was sobbing over the phone because he had panicked and gone into auto pilot destruct-o mode with Sehun.

On the other end, Sehun was hate eating his feelings away which really worried Minseok because Sehun was eating a month's worth of his favorite gummies and the agency had limited food money.

"Yixing, we have to do something." Minseok muttered as he jealously stared at the rapidly disappearing pile of gummy deer going down Sehun's throat.

Yixing nodded sagely. "But every single time anyone tries to do something, it backfires."

"So should we just let nature take it's course?"

They both stared at each other and burst out laughing, tears starting to bubble up in Minseok's eyes as Yixing slapped his knees.

Yixing gasped, holding his stomach because he was laughing so hard.

He fell onto the floor and rolled around.

When they stopped laughing, they stared at each other and simultaneously said,"Naaaaaaaaaaaahh."

Luhan blinked groggily, wincing as his sleep encrusted eyes cracked painfully.

He wasn't sure why he had woken back up after eating a gallon of ice cream (which his stomach had chosen to regurgitate) until he heard the banging on the door.

He silently cursed out the person who had waken him up.

Sleep was the only way to escape the hell hole he had just created.

Luhan stuck his pillow over his head and crawled back into his cave of blankets, waiting for the person to leave.

After 30 minutes of nonstop knocking, he screamed,"I'M NOT COMING OUT SO GO THE AWAY!" in a hoarse, dry voice.

The knocking stopped and Luhan thanked the gods.

The door creaked open and he heard light, hesitant footsteps.

He bundled himself in more blankets, inwardly freaking out as the hot room suddenly dropped in temperature.

A hand lightly touched his head.

Luhan screeched in alarm.

"Jesus, calm down!" Minseok cried from the floor, where the poor baozi had fallen in shock.

Luhan let out a sigh of relief.

"Luhan, I love you, but please don't breathe again until you've brushed your teeth."

Luhan rolled his eyes.

"Thank you for your opinion. If you want to tell that to someone who cares, call 1-800-GOTOHELL."

Minseok tossed his hair.

"I already called that last week, and I really didn't need to since I already have someone that cares whereas you, my friend, don't."

Luhan wilted and burrowed back into his covers.

Minseok groaned.

"I'm sorry, Luhannie. Come back out."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Buing buing?"

"Hell no."

Yixing calmly waited until Sehun finished off yet another bag of deer gummies.

"Are you done binge eating?"

"No."

Yixing slapped the fresh package of gummies out of Sehun's hand.

"LOOK AT YOURSELF, YOU PATHETIC, SNIVELING WENCH."

Sehun looked up in surprise.

"Eh?"

"YOU'RE A SHELL, A PATHETIC HUSK OF THE MAN YOU USED TO BE-"

Kyungsoo (who had finally gotten to work after climbing out the window and running like hell) took a break from his work and moved away from his computer snickering,"Man."

"-GATHER THE BALLS THAT YOU HAVE AND GO FIX THINGS WITH LUHAN OR YOU'LL NEVER BE HALF THE MAN THAT KRIS'S MOM IS."

They heard a banging from the consultation room and a furious muffled yell,"SHUT THE HELL UP YIXING. SHE DOESN'T HAVE A GODDAMN MUSTACHE AND THE ONLY REASON SHE CAN LIFT UP THE 200 POUND BAG OF FLOUR IS BECAUSE SHE USED TO HELP OUT ON A FARM."

Kyungsoo hummed in amusement. "I guess Kris is listening to this."

"BECAUSE IF YOU LET LUHAN GO, WHO KNOWS WHO WILL GO AND HIS LITTLE FAIRY TWINKLY . CERTAINLY NOT YOU, MY FRIEND."

Sehun was at a loss for words. "Wha?"

"THAT'S RIGHT! I SAID IT. YOU WILL NEVER BE THE ONE THAT GETS TO HIM OR GET ED BY HIM-"

Yixing quieted down, looking deep in thought. "-because let's be honest here, you both look like bottoms so there's no way to really tell."

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. ''Continue with the train of thought before you forget it all, Yixing."

"Right. YOU WON'T BE ED OR DO THE ING BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE THE MAN-NESS TO CONFESS TO LUHAN. GO DO IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, MY AL LITTLE HIGH SCHOOL INTERN FRIEND."

Yixing's voice cracked on the last word and he cleared his throat a few times to get it back to normal.

"Okay, that's enough with the figurative motivational slap across the face to get you to snap out of it. I'm going to go to the gym so I can see if I can lift more than Kris's mom. Later."

There was another smattering of banging noises as Kris yelled nondescript words of anger at Yixing.

Sehun blinked, his face contorted in a glassy stare.

Kyungsoo sighed. "That was actually a little moving. My chest got all heavy and- wait, I think I just have to burp."

He daintly covered his mouth and stifled the burp.

"Excuse me."

Sehun nodded, his head in his hands as he massaged his temples with his pointer fingers.