Yongguk was slung in the couch, relaxed as ever. He wasn't showing any signs of nervousness, despite always feeling excited and slightly nervous before a show. Himchan on the other hand, had trouble sitting still. His leg shook endlessly, no matter what he did.

So he stood up and started walking around in their little waiting room. Their. It had become theirs over the past two years, even though it was Yongguk's for when he performed. It was that way with a lot of things. Most things were 'their's and not personal space or stuff anymore.

“What's wrong, Chan?” Yongguk asked. “You seem nervous.”

“Nothing, I just... Nothing,” Himchan answered. This was so nerve wrecking. He wanted to say it, but he didn't dare. It felt wrong to not say it too.

“You're pacing back and forth, that's not nothing,” his friend replied with a raised eyebrow.

“It's just, I have to...” Himchan tried to say it but ended up just standing there with an open mouth.

“Himchan, sit down,” Yongguk told him as he sat up properly, and Himchan did as told. “What's wrong?”

“Well, it's...” Himchan started again, but found the words stuck in his mouth. Why couldn't he just say it?

“Himchan,” Yongguk said and took his hand in his. Like he had come to do when Himchan needed comfort.

“It's uhm, are you performing the song you wrote for me tonight?” Himchan finally asked, sounding unsure and hating that he just couldn't say the words.

“No? Do you want me to?” Yongguk questioned. Once again Himchan opened his mouth to say the words, but they got stuck in his throat. Instead he just nodded.

“Okay, I'll go arrange it,” his best friend smiled and let go of his hand to stand up. “I'll be right back,” he said before walking out the door.

Himchan groaned loudly to himself. He was such a failure at this. Mission: failed. Again.

Yongguk was wonderful on stage. It was like he turned into another person, demanding the attention of everyone. He was talented and he only turned better and better with the years of experience behind him. People loved him in the small clubs he performed in.

Himchan was standing in front of the stage with Daehyun and Youngjae at his side. It wasn’t often he watched Yongguk’s stages from the front lines with all the other people. Usually he stood at the side of the stage. It had taken him a long time to gather up the courage to stand with the strangers in the club. When he finally did, he found it a more thrilling experience. Yet he still found that standing at the side where no one could push him or came too close the most comfortable.

The song ended and Yongguk stood center stage, breathing a little harder than usual. A wide smile was on his face and their eyes connected. Himchan couldn’t help but smile back.

“This next song has been requested for me to play tonight,” Yongguk said and the music started once more. The crowd screamed with excitement and Himchan joined in. It was his song. People turned more quiet when Yongguk started rapping, listening to the lyrics and the emotion in Yongguk’s voice.

He was enchanting, captivating, and Himchan couldn’t help the small fond smile on his lips. It made his heart race to think that this song was written for him. The hope in his heart soared for a moment as Yongguk looked at him, before turning away. He hoped Yongguk still felt the same for him, no matter how long it had been.

It was a slim chance, but he couldn’t help but hope.

When Yongguk finished, the crowd roared in applause and Himchan joined happily. With Daehyun and Youngjae, he made his way through the crowd to the backstage area.

“Did you tell him?” Daehyun yelled over the music that had started. Himchan shook his head and the other gave him a look that clearly said ‘do it’.

“Tell him what?” Youngjae asked curiously.

“Can’t tell you just yet,” Daehyun answered with a smile. When Yongguk and Himchan had introduced the two of them, they had found the two were neighbors. Despite bickering and teasing each other all the time, they got on really well.

The two launched into a discussion on if Daehyun should tell Youngjae or not. Thankfully, Daehyun held his ground. From experience, Himchan could say it wouldn’t hold for long though. Daehyun’s rambling sometimes got him in trouble with secrets. He never told anyone he knew he shouldn’t tell it to, but he wasn’t so careful around everyone else, so it spilled out at some point.

“Hey,” Yongguk greeted them with a smile. Himchan smiled back and forgot for a moment that the other two were there. Right until Daehyun slapped his back and said something about a great show to Yongguk.

“Shall we go then?” Youngjae asked when they had all formulated their congratulations on another good show to Yongguk. A few nods his way, and they were moving out of the building.

Himchan felt himself relax more when he was out in the fresh air. The four of them talked and teased as they made their way to Himchan and Yongguk’s apartment. Yongguk had promised to make one of his two specialties (not ramen this time), while Daehyun had been listening. Which meant that he had jumped at the chance for free food and invited Youngjae along.

They reached their door and Himchan unlocked it before they all filed in. As the others took off their shoes quickly and headed to their small kitchen, Himchan stalled a bit.

He wanted to tell Yongguk, but it couldn't be done in front of Daehyun and Youngjae. That would feel wrong. Tonight when his best friend had rapped and sung his song, he had felt the emotion in Yongguk's voice. He always did when Yongguk performed that song. However, did that mean that his best friend still felt something for him or was it practiced? He could just be imagining a blank face that he likes instead of Himchan.

Sighing, he pulled off his second shoe and stood up to find Yongguk looking at him with a worried expression.

“Are you alright?” his best friend asked.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Himchan lied. He was not fine. This thing, this crush, was eating him up.

“You're hiding something, I know you are,” Yongguk said sadly and Himchan tried to not show his sudden panic. From Yongguk's expression, he failed. “I'll wait until you're ready to tell me, but...”

The word hung in the air, making it thicker and Himchan's panic worse. This atmosphere wasn't comfortable. Who knew Yongguk's expression could hold such sadness?

“I-” Himchan started hesitantly. “I'll tell you when Daehyun and Youngjae have gone home,” he told the other. He couldn't bear the look on Yongguk's face. It hurt to see him like that. Himchan was supposed to be his best friend and that included making sure that that look happened as little as possible. Yet he had been the cause of it.

Yongguk nodded. “Okay.”

“Let's not keep Daehyun and Youngjae waiting,” Himchan said with a small smile, trying to lift the spirit again. Yongguk nodded once more, a small smile gracing his lips, but there was still a sadness about it. The two of them turned and went to the kitchen. Yongguk brightened immediately when they entered, but Himchan could see through his mask.

However, as he made the