Yongguk didn’t know what to think nor do. He was both nervous and excited, flittering between the feelings so quickly that he ended up pacing in his room. Soon Himchan would be finished in the bathroom and they would be eating breakfast together. He had to reach a decision before they reached the club, but he couldn’t choose.

Should he confess through a song, like he had thought of so many times, or should he do it after? Or maybe he should tell Himchan afterwards that the song was for him? Or just not at all? Himchan was still not completely over the followings of Jongup’s actions. He had accepted it and he was over it, but he still had a hard time with human beings and being in public. Yongguk really should wait.

Yet he felt an overpowering need to confess, to tell him how he really felt. It hung on his shoulders, like great big boulders. It felt right to tell him, yet it also felt wrong.

So what should he do?

Throwing himself on his bed with a groan, he tried putting up the pros and cons of each decision. There was of course Himchan’s problems with people. Confessing might estrange Yongguk from him, which wouldn’t be good. It might put back Himchan months. But it would help Yongguk underline his point, that he could be trusted and that he didn’t keep things from him. Also, it would remove this burden on his shoulders.

It could also be that Himchan might feel the same way, however miniscule that possibility was. If he did, Yongguk couldn’t see Himchan confessing first in that situation. At least not now. Maybe. Yongguk didn’t know.

The bathroom door opened and closed. . Himchan was finished showering and he still hadn’t come to a conclusion. What should he do?

With another groan, he got out of bed. He would decide as he had breakfast with Himchan.

Himchan was nervous. Really, really nervous, but also excited. There would be lots of people at the club, so they had agreed yesterday that he would watch from the side. Even though there would be a lot less people there, he was still nervous. There would be people close by. At the same time, Yongguk would show him the songs he had been working on lately. If you could call the dedication and stubborn will to make it perfect ‘work’. Yongguk eyes would light up when he talked about what he had been working on. He really was made for this.

Himchan looked forward to listening to the fruit of his friend’s hard work. He was excited. Yongguk had talked about the short set list for tonight, with exception of one song, several times. The one song was something he kept saying wasn’t finished yet and had to be perfect. So Himchan didn’t know if that song was actually going to played tonight.

“You look nervous,” Yongguk interrupted his thoughts with a small smile. It wasn’t the usual small smiles that Yongguk would throw his way. It was a bit tighter around the edges this time.

“So do you,” Himchan smiled back.

“A very important person is going to be in the audience tonight, and I want to show him the best I can be,” Yongguk told him, looking down at his food, before looking up again. He still wore the nervous smile.

“Who?” he asked curiously. He hadn’t heard of this.

“Try to take a guess,” Yongguk told him with a pointed look.

“Oh,” Himchan said, feeling warmth flood his heart. Yongguk wanted to show him the best he can be. That was actually very sweet. “Thank you, but you don’t have to be nervous, I’m sure you’ll be great.”

His friend’s mouth widened into a happy gummy smile. “Thanks,” Yongguk replied. “I’m going to do my best to amaze you.”

Himchan gave a small laugh, feeling his nerves loosen a little. Yongguk’s tension seemed to ease a little too.

“I have no doubt that you will, with how you’ve been working on those songs,” he assured his friend. Yongguk laughed a little and scooped the last few remnants of his food up and into his mouth. His cheeks looked slightly pink and Himchan couldn’t help but chuckle. He kept quiet about it however, and ate the last of the food on his plate.

“Should we do the dishes now or later?” Yongguk asked.

“Let’s do them later,” Himchan suggested. He didn’t feel like doing the dishes now. A weird sort of courage had settled upon him, that made him want to get out into the fresh air as soon as possible.

Seeing Yongguk being nervous and comforting him, felt good. Usually it was Yongguk that was there for Himchan when he was nervous. Seeing as he had gone through a lot during the last months, it was understandable it had settled to go that way. But being there for Yongguk when he needed comfort of some sort was really nice. It was like a step forward for himself but also a way to thank his friend for all he had done. He had been there for Himchan so many times, it was the least he could do.

“Okay, let’s get our coats and go,” Yongguk nodded and stood up. Himchan did the same and the two of them went to the hallway where they put on their coats and shoes. He could feel his hands shake in a nervous and excited jitter as he tied his shoes. Telling himself this night would be amazing and wonderful, he stood up again. And then Yongguk was locking the door behind them with his key that had too many keychains attached to it.

The fresh air was cold and made Himchan shiver. Yet that wonderful, courageous feeling got stronger in it. He could do this. He could watch Yongguk perform and support him. Who cares that he would be standing on the side where there wasn’t a crowd. This was a step forward. It helped him be there for his friend, despite the troubles he had had.

A laugh escaped him. He could get high off of this feeling.

“You look happy,” Yongguk grinned at him.

“I feel better than I have in a long time,” Himchan answered, grinning back.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Yongguk smiled his gummy smile once more.

“Seriously, I feel like I could start skipping