Title of Entry: Heart Attack

Participant: Seomate_seobaby

Pairing Used: seolay

Judge: layseokris

Title: 6/10

-There are actually the perks and the troubles of using song titles as titles of your fics. For the advantages, people are able to create a mini-preview of what might happen in the fic. It can also leave a very good impression from the readers, especially if the writer is able to wrap the whole story perfectly through the title. However, as a disadvantage, it won't sound/seem original/creative already. Plus, if someone's isn't able to relate the title that much to the story, it kind of ruins the essence of deriving the title of a fic from a song.  Hmmm, maybe it does fit the fact that while Lay's hurting, it feels like he's also having a heart attack. However, it isn't really, I think, the focus of your story :( (Though, in your other fics, I find your titles creative and good enough ^^)

Storyline: 15/20

-Great storyline though! Maybe something that readers don't see coming might make this score perfect! It's great because not like the other fics, lay always have to end up with Seohyun-like no matter what. But in this case, your highlights tell the readers that once it really can't happen, it really can't happen. One author doesn't really have to pleae the reader and kinda seem that a happy ending is just forced out. Some things just can't happen :(

Grammar: 22/25

-There aren't that much flaws except for the consistency of using one tense of the verb. However, you've kind of written small amounts of dialogues/narrations so that's probably why I can only see minimal amount of mistakes. (Will explain further in the next category.

Flow of Story: 22/30 

-I'm just a tad disappointed, especially when it comes to how's the pace of the story. First of all, the storyline is great and looks complete. However, you really lack details. And since it on an extra-fast pace, at first, I don't understand the story as a whole. Usually, I love reading notes from the author (esp if it's a character analysis). Just that, in this case, I have to read your note in the end because I actually want to read the clarification for your story.

Anyway dongaenggie, you've done great already! If there's something I really want to commend you is the fact that you're able to handle a chaptered fic. Maybe you're forte is a long-run fic while you can't in short fics, hihi-exactly the opposite of me because I on chaptered stories while I think that my oneshots are fine, lol. Still, thanks for participating! (We all just need to improve).

Bonus Points:

-seolay as main (2 Points)

-seolay as main (Individual Scoring-3 Points)

-fantasy as genre (3 Points)

From glamzchic:

-seolay as main (2 Points)

-seolay as main (Individual Scoring-3 Points)

Total Score from layseokris: 78

Judge: immakpoploverable

Title: 6/10

Storyline: 15/20

Grammar: 22/25

Flow of Story: 24/30

Bonus Points:

-seolay as main (2 Points)

-seolay as main (Individual Scoring-3 Points)

-angst as genre (Individual Scoring-3 Points)
 

From glamzchic:

-seolay as main (2 Points)

-seolay as main (Individual Scoring-3 Points)

Total Score from immakpoploverable: 80