(82.5) Entry 11 - The End by LittleAngelChinta
The Beauty and The Wolves || Writing Contest [Closed]
Title of Entry: The End
Participant: LittleAngelChinta
Pairing Used: seolay
Judge: layseokris
Title: 7/10
-The title is okay. Well, let's just say that it might not be the best out there. Though, it actually emphasizes your story.
Storyline: 16/20
-Well, it's not the usual to read a thrilling seolay fic. Though, I'm kind of confused. The ending is a bit blurred (But I do remember you saying that you're busy so...yeah) :)
Grammar: 20/25
-The terms you use are good but I personally think that there's a lot of excessive adjectives there. Details are essential parts of a narrative composition. But too much details might also ruin it. For example, a reader might get bored and the tendency is to skim the whole thing.
Subject-Verb agreement. If the subject is singular, the verb is in its plural form (with e/es). But if the subject is plural, the verb is in its singular form. That's the basic rule.
Tenses of the Verbs. If you started using verbs in the present tense, then you must end using verbs in the present tense too. Consistency of verb tenses will result to better understanding, accuracy and well...consistency XD
More and more pratices, I'm sure you'll improve in those mentioned areas.
Flow of Story: 26/30
-I don't really think that it's fast-paced. I enjoy the first chapter where Seohyun and Lay argue endlessly. I like the oppositions and attractions going on between them.
Though, since the ending is not that clear, it kind of messes up with the smooth flow of your entry. It all starts when Sehun begins dragging and slapping and hurting Seohyun. Then it's like...a happy ending for seolay! Hahah! Kidding aside, the part whether Sehun dies or both Seohyun and Lay die in the fic is very unclear. Almost....almost there.
Bonus Points:
-seolay as main (2 Point)
-seolay as main (Individual Scoring-3 Points)
From glamzchic:
-seolay as main (2 Point)
-seolay as main (Individual Scoring-3 Points)
Total Score from layseokris: 79
Judge: immakpoploverable
Title: 8/10
Storyline: 16/20
Grammar: 21/25
Flow of Story: 26/30
Bonus Points:
-seolay as main ( 1 Point )
-seolay as main (Individual Scoring-3 Points)
-angst as genre (Individual Scoring-3 Points)
From glamzchic:
-seolay as main (1 Point)
-seolay as main (Individual Scoring-3 Points)
Total Score from immakpoploverable: 82
Scores: 82 Points (Aida) + 79 Points (Anne)
Average: 80.5 + early bonus point (2 Points)
Final Score: 82. 5
*Do notify us if you find some miscalculations
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