Kibum’s POV

The reason I lost my memories? That guy whose face I don’t know? But how can that be? The doctors told me that I had lost my memory because the brain surgery that I had gone through was too close to the area of the brain that creates and retrieves memories. The doctor wasn’t sure as this symptom does not usually happen to teenagers but there was the possibility that the surgery had damaged that area of my brain and thus, the memory loss. My condition was called Postoperative Cognitive Dysfunction and it could be a short term memory loss or a long term one. Unluckily for me, mine was the latter.

“Taemin, you’re not making any sense. How could a person be the cause of my memory loss? I clearly remember the doctor telling me that it was an after effect of the surgery.”

Taemin sighed. “Hyung, it’s a very long story so could we put it aside for now? Please? I really don’t feel like talking about him right now.”

I considered his plea for a second, a battle raging inside me. My head was telling me to go ahead and make him tell me but my heart was hurting that I was hurting Taemin. Whoever this guy was, he must be a very terrible person to make such an angelic Taemin hate him.

“I’m sorry, Minnie. I shouldn’t have forced you to tell me,” I smiled apologetically and opened my arms wide for him.

He rushed into them, taking a breath of my scent and immediately, relaxing. I smiled wider as I pat his head, feeling protective over him the way a mother would be towards her son.

“Come on, let’s go eat. I’ll cook my favourite food: pasta!” I raised my voice like it was something exciting.

Taemin pouted at me. “Your favourite food? Shouldn’t it be my favourite food?”

I shrugged. “It’s not like you have any particular favourite food and you’re not picky, either so why not just eat what I cook? And right now, I feel like cooking pasta. So let’s go! Go! Go! Go!” I started running towards the kitchen like a little child with Taemin laughing behind me as he ran along.

Let me tell you that I do not usually behave this way because it wounds my pride as a diva but today would be an exception since I need to lift Taemin’s spirit up.

BACK IN THE PRESENT

I had offered to stay back and close the café by myself so that no one would see how I would magically enter the changing room as a girl and come out of it as a guy. Imagine what a commotion it would have made. That Minho person would surely be laughing his head off in amusement thinking that I was the type of low life that fancies cross-dressing.

I took my time as I removed the pins from the wig one by one, wincing every time it pulled a strand or two of my hair as it came loose. God, it would have come off smoothly if it was not for the fool who had tried to pull the wig off my head. I made a mental note to pay him back double the pain and the humiliation he had caused me the next time I see him. While I was busy coming up with all kinds of different ways to get back at him, I proceeded to removing my makeup and the fake eyelashes. Then, I changed out of the terribly uncomfortable skirt and tight blouse into my homely pink skinny jeans and an oversized white shirt that says “I DON’T GIVE A ABOUT NO ONE” at the front.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” I hissed as I removed the three inch heels off my feet. Damn, I’m so gonna have blisters all over my feet by tomorrow. I had no idea that it would be such a relief to wear my comfy Nike snickers again.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror one last time to make sure my hair hadn’t gone bald in certain places and that I had managed to get rid of all the tacky makeup on my face before leaving the girls’ changing room. I switched off all the lights and electrical appliances before locking the entrance door. I pulled the shutter down and padlocked that too. Taking a step back, I stood admiring my handiwork.

“Key, you’re the most talented person on earth,” I praised myself.

Just then, I heard a sound behind me and I turned wildly around swivelling my head left and right but everything was quiet. All the neighbouring shops had closed and there were no cars coming this way. Could it have been my imagination? I took one more cautious look around before making my way home, wincing as the blisters stink with every step I took.

I was immediately attacked by Taemin the minute I came through the front door. He hugged me so tightly I was gonna die of suffocation.

“Minnie, I was only away for eight hours, you couldn’t have missed me that much, could you?” I laughed when he finally stepped away.

“But I did miss you this much, Umma,” he emphasized his point by drawing huge circles with his arms.

I laughed again. “Alright. Alright. I missed you this much, too.” I followed his actions.

“hey, umma. Why aren’t you in a girl’s disguise?” he asked with a frown.

“Why should I still be in that disguise? I only promised you that I would do it when I was working but I’m not working now, am I?”

Taemin’s eyes went as big as saucers. “NO!” he screamed and grabbed me roughly by my shoulders. “No one saw you, right? No one recognized you, right? You weren’t confronted by anyone, right? Tell me!”

“Taemin, you’re scaring me. Of course no one saw me. Even if they did, I wouldn’t know and you know that. No one confronted me, either so there you have it,” I answered his questions truthfully.

Taemin released my shoulders with a relieved sigh. “Thank goodness.”

 I wasn’t going to let it go so easily. “Now, you tell me why you’re acting like a maniac.”

“wha- what do you mean?”

“Taemin, why do you think it’s dangerous for me to be walking around as I am- as a guy? Who do you want me to avoid? Is it that guy you say is the reason for my memory loss?”

Taemin began fidgeting again. “Umma, let’s go eat! I’m so hungry!” he said nervously and tried to run away but I pulled him back by his wrist.

“Taemin, there is a lot more that you aren’t telling me and you still owe me the truth about that guy.”

“Hyung…”

“STOP THESE GAMES, WILL YOU?” Taemin froze and stared wide-eyed at me.

I had no idea why I shouted at him. I only knew that I was so mad at the time. I guess my temper has reached its limits, at last. It has always annoyed me every time Taemin hid something from me and pretended like not knowing certain things was for my own good. I scoffed at that thought. I mean, he’s even younger than me by two years and if he can handle knowing, then why can’t I? Who am I to be so weak that I couldn’t handle listening to tales of my past? I’m the almighty Key for god’s sake! Besides, if I had lived seventeen years of my life going through whatever it is that Taemin was hiding from me, I must have done a good job or I would be coming up with all kinds of ideas to commit suicide, right? So why can’t I know the truth about my very own past when it so rightfully belonged to me?

Whenever Taemin told me pieces of my past, I would try to imagine how it was like and plead to myself to remember at least a little so I wouldn’t feel like a stranger in my own body. At times, I felt as if there were more flashing images of the distant memories but often, I would collapse when the headaches attack again. But I knew…I had always known that Taemin does not always tell me the complete event of the past and would leave a part or a person out of it. I could tell by the way he suddenly stopped talking and just left his last sentence hanging without a conclusion. It was as if he did not want me to remember. It was as if he wanted me to live in this darkness forever and never regain my memories again. But don’t you think that it sounds impossible? Don’t you think that such an innocent boy would never have done such a thing much less thought of it?

I sighed. “Minnie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you like that.”

His body relaxed. “It’s okay, hyung. I know you didn’t mean it,” he smiled understandingly.

Honestly, I don’t know why I couldn’t control my anger, today. Maybe it was because of the earlier incident in the café. That stupid guy, I thought bitterly. But I have to say that he was good looking…wait a minute! What am I doing complementing a guy’s looks when I’m a guy myself?! This disguise must have rubbed off on me.

“Hyung, what are you thinking?”

I pulled myself together. “It’s nothing. Let’s go eat some barbequed pork. I swear, ever since you ordered that dish in the restaurant, I’ve been drooling in my sleep thinking of eating meat!” I said with a roll of my eyes. What I said was random but it was purposeful. I had to divert Taemin’s attention away from the question and escape before he could ask anything else. There was simply no way that I could tell Taemin about that psychotic guy. He would definitely freak out and to think that he already has too much to carry on those small shoulders of his being the only heir to his parents’ prestigious dance schools all around the world. Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot to mention that my son is the best freaking dancer out there. EVER. There’s no competition. Period.

Minho’s POV

I was out there; standing hidden behind a lamppost – using its shadow as my cover - waiting for something that I know would surely appear sooner or later. I looked at the time. It was already ten past ten at night. I hope that lifeless Jonghyun isn’t asleep yet or it would be annoying to get in his house. I glanced towards the café across the road again. It should be anytime, now. Sure enough, the door of the café opened and a skinny boy stepped out of it. He proceeded in locking the door and pulling the shutter down and locking that too before stepping back with his hands on his hips and nodding his head in what seemed to me to be acknowledgement for his achievement. I chuckled amusedly to myself and the boy’s shoulders stiffened as he swiftly turned around. I had just gotten behind the lamppost when his eyes locked on in my direction. I could practically feel his eyes boring into my back and I silently hoped that he has not found me out. Suddenly, I heard a hiss and I slid against the lamppost towards the other side. I waited for three seconds. Nothing happened. Slowly, I inched my head bit by bit out of the safety of my lamppost to take a peek at him. I sighed, running my hand through my hair in frustration as I stepped out of the shadows, and watch the tiny back limping down the lane.

Key…Kim Kibum…what happened to you? I thought as I walked down the opposite direction.

I was standing in front of Jonghyun’s penthouse, an annoyed expression stamped on my face. I had ringed the bell for five times and yet, there was no answer. That idiot must clearly be sleeping. I don’t get why he needed all his servants out of the house before he comes back when he could hardly manage himself for even ten minutes. Even now, he’s in the furthest room from this door and of course, it was impossible for him to hear the doorbell from so far away. Even if by a miracle, he did hear the doorbell, he would never be willing to drag himself out of bed to open the door for me. I know him too well.

“You leave me no choice, hyung,” I said to myself as I pulled my backpack from my shoulder and dropped it down in front of me. I rummaged through the depths and brought out a slim square shaped plastic film. I tore the outer layer of the film and placed it on the handprint scanner. I took a deep breath before placing my hand on the film. I waited as the machine came to live and a single green line scanned the film and my hand from top to bottom.

“Handprint verified. Please insert the password,” a cool female voice sounded from the speaker.

I relaxed my stiff shoulders and typed in the password without any hesitation at all.

“Welcome home, Mr.Kim,” the cool female voice spoke again as the double doors swung open to admit me.

I smirked to myself. Kim Jonghyun, you are a bad liar. I clearly remember you saying that you were over Key and here you are setting his birthday date as your password.

Jonghyun’s POV

I tossed and my bed, the same nightmare haunting my dreams like it does every other night. I was seeing Key’s back leaving me again and again, his words that stabbed me straight in the middle of my heart repeated itself to cut me time and again. One wound after another at the exact same spot while I listened to the never fading echo of his words.

“I don’t love you anymore…”

I sat up straight on my bed, beads of sweat dripping down my face. My shirt was already drenched in them as I heaved short ragged breaths. I let myself slump back down on the bed, annoyed that I could never sleep peacefully through one day without having to wake up from that nightmare. It was just not possible. I simply cannot forget my love for him.

Suddenly, I heard movements outside my room and I sat up straight again with surprise. Who could be in the house besides me at this hour? I have made it absolutely clear that I do not want anyone to be in the house the moment I stepped in or all of them would be fired. Not a single butler or cook remains in the house at night. So what was the sound I heard? Could it be an intruder? That’s even more impossible. Nobody except me could enter this house since the only way the door will open is with my password and handprint. The servants, on the other hand, have had their voices recognized by the computer system to allow them entry and they are all only allowed one entry per day. If they happened to be out and recorded their voice a second time, the security alarm will ring and cops will surround the building faster than you can blink. So it puzzles me that someone or something out there could make a noise besides me.

 I dropped lightly to my feet, out of my bed and walked stealthily to my room door. I heard another movement, the sound of my main room door being opened. I pressed myself against the wall beside my bedroom door and held my breath as I listened to the footsteps crossing my room’s living hall and study room. I went straight into my stance that I had learned in taekwondo. After all, I was a 1^st Dan black belt holder even if I have not been training for almost two years. I watched with hawk eyes as my doorknob turned slowly and carefully, tensing myself for an ambush at whomever it is behind these doors. 

When the door had opened halfway, casting a glow of the hallway’s light onto my room’s expensive carpet, I swung my leg around in a kick, aiming for the face but the person must have expected the attack as he reflexively grabbed my leg by my ankle. I did not let the surprise faze me as I followed up with a punch to the abdomen. He avoided it easily and countered with his own kick to my side which I blocked with my arm. Man, this guy was good, I thought as I felt the force of his leg ripple in my arm muscles. But play time’s over. I was not gonna go easy this time. I looked up to get his face, wanting to see who it was that I was gonna beat up and froze. My stance slackened at the right moment he pulled a punch to my face. I fell backwards, my landing harshly on the floor.

“Never let your guard down, hyung. You’ve been out of practise,” Minho said with a smirk as he offered me his hand.

I grabbed it and he pulled me up to my feet. “You could’ve made a sound and announce your presence, Minho. What was with the ninja mode?” I said grudgingly, wiping the back of my forearm against my lip and looking unamusedly at the line of blood on it.

“What’s the fun in that?” he asked as he made himself comfortable on my Italian imported leather couch.

“How did you get in, anyway?”

“Are you underestimating my intelligence?”

“Stop joking, Minho. This is serious, okay? I need to know how you enter because I don’t need anyone else following your lead.”

“Rest easy, hyung. I’ll tell you that your security is good enough and that no one could break in except for me.”

“If one single soul enters without my permission after this, you will be held responsible, you hear me?’ I said with authority but Minho merely shrugged.

“Whatever you say, hyung.” Then, he thought for a while before saying sarcastically, "By souls, do you mean ghosts too?"

I walked over to my bed and flumped back on it, ignoring his jibe. “Minho, get to the point and tell me why you’re here so that I can get rid of you and go back to sleep.”

Minho’s POV

I ran his question through my head. Why was I here? Even I want to know the answer to that. Was I here because of the promise I had made in the café or was I here to tell him about my discovery? Which was it?

“I said that I would come by, didn’t I?” In the end, I settled for a safe opening.

Jonghyun snorted. “Yeah. But what for? To tell me that I should go to a shrink?”

“It’s not like I hadn’t said that before.”

“Say something interesting, Minho or I’m throwing you out.” His voice was dripping with anger.

There goes the temper again, I thought as I said something that would surely attract his attention but at the same time, I knew I would be digging my own grave. “That girl. Key. I know you think she looks a lot like Kibum.”

Jonghyun skyrocketed into a sitting position and glared daggers at me. “And your point is?”

“I don’t want you coming to the café anymore.”

“And what made you think that I was going to listen to your instructions like a good boy?”

“Because I can kick you out any time and you made it easier by wreaking havoc today. I can simply explain to the cops that you’re dangerous and have them put a restraining order on you.”

The fury in Jonghyun’s eyes became more pronounced. “Choi Minho, don’t you go too far.”

“If you don’t want that to happen, answer three simple questions and I’ll leave you to your restless sleep,” I negotiated, knowing full well that it was an offer he could never reject. You see, as tough and solid as he looked on the outside, he was actually a naïve and straight forward person who cannot help but be an open book to everyone.

“How did you know I have nightmares every night?” he asked in irritation, hating the fact that I had nailed him dead on again.

“The sweat on your skin, the puffy eyes and your password.” I said the last word provocatively.

Jonghyun got off his bed with a roar and rushed at me but I easily stopped his punch with my palm although I would rather die than admit his strength caught me off guard for a moment. I would have had to walk home with a broken nose if I had taken that punch.

“Anger only leads to weakness, hyung.”

Jonghyun pulled out of my grip and started pacing the room in agitation as he tried to tone down his temper. “Shoot at me.”

I smirked. My unplanned plan worked out, in the end. “1^st question: The denial of your feelings for a certain someone. Was it true?”

“Next,” he ordered with a wave of his hand.

“Answer that question, hyung. The second one only gets harder.”

“Next.” I sighed at his stubbornness.

“2^nd question: Why did you retract into your shell and live a dead life if the answer for the 1^st question is true?”

“Next,” he hissed.

“Jonghyun, I really think -”

“I SAID NEXT!”

You asked for it. “Final question: What would you do if Kibum comes back?”

Jonghyun stopped his pacing and his body went rigid. There was a steely silence in the room as I analysed his thoughts through his facial expressions. He was coming up with an answer to the third question. He was asking himself if he could even bear to look into Kibum’s eyes without breaking down and pleading for him to take him into his arms once more. But then, he was also wondering if he should put on the ‘I’ve moved on’ façade so that Kibum could live happily without feeling any guilt. Then, he was contemplating running far far away to a place that Kibum will not be able to reach him so that he did not have to face Kibum who might be in love with someone else. Another thought came up. Maybe he should pretend to have a girlfriend -

I turned my eyes away from his face to stop getting a read of his emotions and huffed out loud. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt bad for torturing him like this but if I don’t do this, I wouldn’t know the full extent of his feelings and I wouldn’t know if telling him the truth about Key would do him any good.

“Hyung, it’s alright,” I said as I stood up from the couch. “Go to sleep. I’ll take my leave, now.” I started walking to the door when a sweaty hand gripped my wrist to stop me. I looked over my shoulder at Jonghyun.

“No. Listen to my answers. I want you to know so that you can tell me how to deal with them.” His face was set with determination.

I turned around to face him, keeping a smile from appearing on my lips. “Alright. Talk.”

“The 1^st question…the answer is false. I love him, Minho and I always will.” The pained look had returned to his eyes.

I nodded at his words. “Go on.”

“The 2^nd answer. I thought I could move on but I just can’t. it’s as if he had taken a large chunk of me with him when he left and I hadn’t been able to find myself again. I’m sorry I caused the both of you so much trouble. I really am.”

“Okay. But you have to apologise to Onew yourself and see him cry and hug you like a big baby.”

Jonghyun smiled softly at that. “The 3^rd and final one…I don’t know the answer to that yet until I face him myself,” he said honestly.

I nodded understandingly. “It’s okay. The answers you’ve given me were good enough. Now, I’ll let you have your sleep.” I have gathered all I need to know from reading his body language, anyway.

“What? You’re not gonna tell me why you ask such stupid questions?”

“Did I ever say I was gonna explain myself to you?” I challenged him back as I walked out. “Well, see you in detention tomorrow.”

I stopped at the door as another thought came to me.  “Oh, one more thing. I’ve paid back the punch in full,” I rubbed my thumb across my cut lip suggestively and Jonghyun rolled his eyes.

I heard him say, "You bastard, Minho." before I close the double doors behind me with a chuckle.

OMG! The chapter just gets longer and longer!!!

i hope it isn't too boring.

and can someone tell me if you prefer jongkey or minkey?

the following chapters might change according to your choice of couple...

and pls pls comment or criticize so i could improve...