Key’s POV

I stared at Jessica. Her words took time to soak into my brain cells.

“You know everything?”

She tsked at me as she folded her arms. “Of course I would know. I was right in the middle of all the chaos.”

I blinked at her. “I don’t remember you being in any par-. Oh, right. I’m not supposed to remember,” I sighed towards the end.

Jessica sighed along with me. “Obviously you wouldn’t remember but if you did, you would hate me very much. You used to, anyway.”

I cocked my head to the side in question and waited for an elaboration on the point from her.

She sighed again. “I was Jonghyun’s fiancée.”

The moment those words spilled out of , I felt a compression on my chest and I felt a surge of unknown feelings towards Jessica while every other part of my body felt numb. It was like waking memories from the grave.

“But that doesn’t make sense. You said Jonghyun and I were very much in love!”

“Yes, you both were but that doesn’t mean that you two would be together right?” Jessica said and glanced away from me to fix her stare outside the window at the occasional passer-bys. It was awhile before she started speaking again. “Do you know Jonghyun’s past, Key?”

I gave her the *are you serious?* look. “Funny, Jessica. I don’t even know my own past. How am I supposed to know someone else’s?”

“Well, I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “I thought Minho might have told you something.”

I scoffed. “Oh, please. The day Minho tells me something will be the day when all shopping malls declare nonstop sales for an entire year.”

Jessica gave a giggle at that. “You haven’t changed, after all. The shopping spirit is still ablaze in you and your attitude is exactly the same too.”

I waved off her comment. “Right. Whatever. Back to what we were talking about. I want to know about me so why would I need to know Jonghyun’s past? What am I supposed to know about him?”

“To tell you the truth, I don’t know much about you. I only met you after my engagement to Jonghyun and believe me when I say the few encounters we had didn’t go that well. But I think telling you about him might trigger your memories and you might remember again,” she smiled uncertainly at me.

Jessica heaved a sigh before going back to staring out the window and for awhile, it was silent between us again. I didn’t want to push her into telling me everything from the start although I wanted her to. I was afraid she would change her mind and wouldn’t tell me anything.

“I don’t know if I should say this. I’m walking on dangerous grounds here,” she confessed. “I’m not supposed to be telling you anything at all. I’m not even supposed to have met you. You should never know my existence.” She huffed out a breath. “I’m really not doing myself a favour but if it means Jonghyun can finally have the smile back on his lips and you’re the only one who could do it, then it’ll be worth it.”

My face softened. “Why are you helping me if you love him so much?”

Jessica smiled. “Hey, just because I look like an ice queen on the outside doesn’t mean I’m cold blooded on the inside too. It’s the lot of you who assume so. Besides, you didn’t wrong me in any way. We only fell in love with the same person.”

Listening to her speak like this, I couldn’t help but smile too. Somehow, I felt a rushed affection towards her. She’s not the kind of girl I thought she would be, after all.

“So. You ready to listen to this?”

I have waited so long for this. I couldn’t believe I would know everything now. I was excited but nervous at the same time. I don’t know if what I hear would change how I look at things. I don’t know if it would change the way I would live from now on. I don’t know if listening to my past would make a difference in my future. But I think knowing is better than being kept in the dark. With the knowledge, I could make decisions and come up with choices but being clueless only meant I was being ignoring and oblivious.

I took a deep breath as my heart picked up speed. My eyes met Jessica’s with determination and I gave her one stiff nod.

“Okay, then. Here goes nothing.”

Minho’s POV

Jonghyun frowned at me. “An interesting guest? Who?”

“You’ll see,” I said as I walked back to the couch and resumed my reading.

“You’re an , you know that?”

“No, I don’t know that because the last time I checked, I was human and I believe I still am,” I answered him.

“Ugh!” Jonghyun groaned aloud. “Why do I even waste my breath talking to you?”

I spared the irritated Jonghyun a glance. He never fails to amuse me at the oddest hour and I figured I might as well lighten up myself a bit before Taemin crashes in here and turn this place upside down.

 “Because you know that no matter how much it annoys you, you enjoy talking to me.”

Jonghyun snorted. “Yeah, right. Only in your dreams will it happen, Minho.”

“Really?” I smirked. “Shall I re-enact the scene from when we in grade school and you were begging me with snort in your nose so I will never leave your side?”

His face flushed red. “Yah! That was years ago and I didn’t beg you! I persuaded you!”

“mhmm,” I nodded. “Keep telling yourself that, hyung. As long as it makes you feel better.”

“Choi Minho!” he shouted in frustration. “I can’t believe you can be so annoying! I can’t seem to find the turning point in our lives that made you this way. And can we do something about your psychic ability? Could we get it erased or deleted or maybe make you forget that you have the ability. Maybe we could change a few data in your mind too. You can keep the intelligence but the attitude definitely has to go. You used to be so quiet last time. You don’t even talk to anyone at all except for me. We were like the closest friends alive and some people actually said we looked like one another after sticking together like glue. Remember that aunt who used to-.”

“Oh, look at this. Eun Seo noona has finally made her official debut in a drama,” I told him as I stopped to read a page on the magazine. “I’ll have to give her a call later and take her out for dinner.”

“Yah! You weren’t listening to me?”

“What is there to listen to, anyway? You’re just spouting nonsense by yourself and it’s giving me a headache so stop your childishness and spare me five minutes of silence.”

I got my silence for a few seconds before my name resonated off the walls.

“Really, hyung. I know you’re good with pitches and notes but can you at least try not to show off here,” I said with one finger in m ear.

Jonghyun made to open his mouth to come up with another retort but his intercom rang out and a gentle female voice spoke. “Mr.Kim. There is someone in the lobby who claims to be your acquaintance. He demands to be allowed to see you.”

He turned to look at me but I paid no attention to him while I continued reading Eun Seo noona’s article in the magazine.

“Well, that’s fast,” I said.

“Could this be the guest you were talking about?” Jonghyun asked.

“I’m afraid so.”

“He doesn’t sound interesting.”

“I’m afraid so.”

“You’re being annoying again.”

“I know so.”

“Ugh! Whatever! Now tell me if I should let him in.”

“Well, he’s already here and he’s causing trouble downstairs. Are you sure you want to leave him there just like that?”

Jonghyun narrowed his eyes at me. “You couldn’t say a simple *yes*, could you?”

I shrugged. “I wouldn’t have to say anything at all if you would start using your brain to think.”

Jessica’s POV

I met Key’s steady gaze as he met mine. This will be one hell of a journey from here on out. Telling him what I know will only lead him to two choices and they are possibly the hardest decisions he will ever make in his life. I might destroy him but if he’s strong enough, if his love is strong enough, things wouldn’t turn out to be as bad as they could have been.

“I’ll start the story from Jonghyun’s childhood, okay?”

Key gave me another nod.

“Well, as you know, Jonghyun is the only child in an extremely wealthy family. He grew up being given whatever he wanted. There was nobody who could say no to him. He was pretty much spoiled and a total brat. But we know how deep down, all rich kids have a sad life. It’s true they get everything they want with a snap of a finger but there is one thing they can never get and that is the love of their parents. I’m the same way so I know how it felt like,” I smiled sadly at Key.

“I never knew that,” he said softly.

“And I don’t blame you. Anyway, that’s where Minho comes in. I don’t know the exact details of how they met but Minho was the only one who was willing to be Jonghyun’s friend. Well, people said it’s not like he has much choices of friends to choose from because Minho’s an orphan.”

“What? Minho’s an orphan?” Key gasped. “He never told me.”

“I guess he’s not the person to want people’s sympathy so he never meant to tell anybody.”

“How did you come to know, then?”

I shrugged. “We’re rich kids. We come with full access to every single information to every single person out there. We all do it without breaking a sweat.”

“Anyway, Jonghyun and Minho grew up together after that. The Kim household took him into their home and made him their stepson. They were as close as brothers can be or maybe closer. They bicker and fight and quarrel everyday but if you look past that, they have a bond that not just anybody can feel and share. Minho was the family that was there for him when his parents weren’t.”

“Why not? I mean why aren’t his parents there for him when he needed them?”

Jessica sighed. “We ask ourselves that question all the time even if we already knew the answer. It’s pretty simple actually. Our parents run companies with probably thousands of workers depending on them while we’re just one child waiting at home for them. Which do you think would be their priority?”

“But this is ridiculous! You’re suggesting that you’re at par with your parents’ workers! You’re their daughter! Shouldn’t your priorities come first?” Key expressed his frustration and it was actually pretty cute. I actually felt stupid now when I thought back on all the impressions I had on him back then.

“I can explain that to you but it’s going to take forever so I think I’ll move on with the story. You’re coming in soon,” I smiled at him and immediately I got his attention again. “So then, they both got into high school and that’s when Minho decided to move out of the house and got a place of his own. He was going to move out sooner or later anyway and Jonghyun knew that so he let him go. After all, Minho isn’t the type to be led around. He likes to live his own life his way and he would want to do it with his two bare hands with no help. That’s how he ended up working in the café. He also gets extra allowance for contributing ideas to new gaming software and such.”

Key nodded at me, soaking in the information.

“It’s in their senior year of high school that you appeared in their lives. You were initially studying in a different school with Taemin. But then, you went overseas for awhile and when you came back, you just suddenly transferred into their school.”

“Eh? But why? Does this mean I left Taemin in our old school all by himself?”

“I don’t know much about that because, sorry to say this but I wasn’t interested in you at all back then. I was only interested in kicking you off Jonghyun’s side.”

Key nodded understandingly and I gave a frown at that. Shouldn’t he be anxious about what I used to do to get rid of him? Shouldn’t he be keeping a guard up against me? Why is there so much trust in his eyes? Why? He does love Jonghyun right? If he does, he should feel uncomfortable when I talk about my attempts to steal him away. Don’t tell me his memories are completely erased and no matter what I say, it wouldn’t help to bring it back.

“Go on, Jessica. I want to know more,” he urged me when I lapsed into silence again.

I cleared my throat. “You knew each other for two months (if my source of information is correct)  in which you met him when you were both involved in the school production. They said you fell in love with his voice and he fell in love with your attitude.”

Key laughed at that. “Are you serious? I loved his voice? I don’t even know he could sing! And he loved my attitude? He’s really got to be the first!”

“No,” I smiled. “I like your attitude too although I would never have admitted it back then. I like how you’re honest and straight forward and you always know what you want and when to get it.”

Key turned away from me with a shy smile. “Well, I like you too. I don’t know how you were before this but I think you’re really pretty and honest and kind.”

I blushed at that and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. He was the first to say such things about me. My first impression to people always made them stay away from me and I was always labelled as the unapproachable arrogant *Ice Queen*. “Thank you,” I said timidly. “And moving on, once you two finally got together, you two were just inseparable. I don’t think I’ve seen a couple who were more in love than the both of you. But then again, every love story has to go through a hurricane to test just how strong the bond is. Some braced through it and came out stronger than ever while others broke apart halfway.”

“So we belonged to the second category?” Key asked with a disappointed edge to his voice. Maybe there was a little sadness mixed in it too.

I smiled weakly at him. “I’m sorry…but you should know that there’s a huge reason behind it. There’s a reason why you two broke apart.”

“Was it because of you?”

My heart clenched guiltily. “Well, partly, I guess. I was trying very hard to tear you two apart but trust me when I say you put up a big fight and I was actually thinking about giving up at that time. But that’s not the only reason. There’s another reason. A much bigger reason.”

Key cringed backwards slightly as if what I was going to tell him would harm him physically.

“I don’t know if I’m the right person to tell you this, though. I don’t even know how to put it in a proper way so it wouldn’t hurt that much. This is really hard. What I’m going to say is the reason for your memory loss. It’s the reason we are how we are now. Jonghyun, Minho, Taemin, Onew, you and me…” I said carefully.

Key looked silently at me for awhile, assessing the weight of my words and his mental strength as well as his desire to know everything. “Tell me. And don’t put it in a nice way. Tell it as it is. I want to know,” he said determinedly.

“Okay,” I said with a heavy sigh. “You didn’t lose your memory after the operation. You lost your memory after getting involved in a car accident. Your car was hit by another that was coming in the opposite direction. Your parents were in the car with you but they didn’t make it. And the other car…there were three people in it too and like you, only one made it out alive. It was Jonghyun and his parents.”

Key’s POV

“And the other car…there were three people in it too and like you, only one made it out alive. It was Jonghyun and his parents.”

…

It was like everything around me turned weird. The noise I was hearing from the people around me became bizarrely muted and flat. I felt as if I was detached from this place, this world. The only sound I could hear was my own heartbeat which sounded strangely irregular and fast in my ears. My mind was rejecting the event that was happening. I did not want to accept the things this girl sitting in front of me was saying. There was just no way it could be true.

But how do I explain the all too familiar compression in my chest that has confirmed the facts for me?

“That’s a very big accusation you’re making,” my voice shook uncontrollably.

I was just being careful not to be fooled by her. I hardly know her, after all. It was only logical that I do not simply trust everything she was saying. And I’m almost sure this was not about protecting Jonghyun. Almost.

“And unless you can pair it off with a solid proof, I’m afraid I can’t believe you.”

Jessica gave me an understanding smile. “You’re right. It’s not something anyone can say as they like. That’s why I told you that I might not be the right person to tell you this. This should have come from Jonghyun himself. There’s no one else who could tell you except for him.”

“Then, why doesn’t he tell me?” I demanded.

“I think that would be because you’re dressed up as a girl in front of him like you were when you first stepped in here. Am I right?” Jessica asked.

Well, she does have a point. “But still, this doesn’t make sense. Of all the billions of cars and of all the god damned drivers out there, why was it him? Why? And Taemin said my parents are alive. He said they…” I couldn’t find the words to continue what I wanted to say. Did he not tell me where they were? How could I have forgotten?

“You’ve been living with Taemin all these while,” Jessica said softly. “If your parents really were alive and he knew that you very much wanted to know exactly who you were in the past, shouldn’t he have sent you home to them? Who else would know you better than your parents? It would’ve been a piece of cake for him but why did he not let you go? Why did he not send you home?”

Jessica’s questions float around in my head, bouncing off the walls of my empty skull. I didn’t know how to answer her questions. For the first time ever, I was in a loss of words to say in Taemin’s defence. I have always lied to myself that he needed me beside him, which was why he could never let me go. It was the reason why he could never tell me the truth that I wanted. I was his brother, his mother…his one family when no one was there for him. If you look at it, I’m like Minho is to Jonghyun. I always thought that one day, someday, when Taemin was ready, he would send me home with an open heart. I never thought that he was keeping me with him because I no longer had a home. I never thought that I am an orphan…a lost child.

A drop of tear trickled down my face. “Tell me exactly how it happened.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jessica’s lower lip was trembling.

“I’m so sick of these games, Jessica. I’m so tired of being led around in a circle. I’m tired of being treated like a fool. I’m tired of coming up with my own fairy tale like past. I’m just so tired,” I pleaded her with my eyes.

A drop of tear glistened on Jessica’s cheek. “Okay,” she exhaled. “I’ll tell you everything.”

“Thank you,” I mouthed weakly and she gave me an encouraging smile in return.

Listen to this as you read the next part. I cried watching his performance... (Yoseob - Mother)

“I don’t know exactly how it happened and I don’t want to sound like I’m making up a story so I’ll only say what I’m sure of. All I know was that your car crashed headfirst into Jonghyun’s which was coming from the left of the traffic junction. I’m not sure who the one at fault was so I wouldn’t tell you anything about that as well but I did hear one thing. Your dad…they didn’t make it in time to save him but your mum…she made it to the hospital with you. She was badly injured but she was the one with the higher chance of surviving. You were already losing so much blood when they brought you in. However, you made it out alive and she didn’t.” Jessica bit her bottom lip as another drop of tear trickled down her face. She stretched a hand across the table to squeeze mine. “Your mum exchanged her life for yours when she was told that you wouldn’t make it. She pleaded with the doctor to save you and she made him swear not to tell you anything about it. She didn’t want to feel guilty because there was nothing to be guilty about in the first place. If you didn’t make it, she would have found a way to be with the two of you so the result for her would’ve been the same. But to know that she managed to fulfil her role one last time as your mum, she went willingly and happily to your dad’s side. Saving you was probably the best thing she did in her life. That was how much your mum loved you.”

I inhaled a sharp gasp. I only just realized that my eyes were clouded with tears and that my cheeks were wet. I gave Jessica a stiff nod. I can’t remember how my mum looked like and here I am listening to how she’s sacrificed herself for me. What kind of a son am I? My chest was aching so much. I felt like something was squeezing my airway. I couldn’t breathe properly. Why? Why does this have to happen to me? What have I done on the past to deserve this? My mind was going into disarray. I was gulping mouthfuls of air but it felt like nothing was entering into my lungs. How am I supposed to live with myself after this? And Jonghyun…how am I supposed to face him? What else don’t I know? Was my tumour surgery a lie to fabricate the real truth? I need to ask Jessica. I need her to tell me. She has to tell me. My head felt heavy all of a sudden. It hurt so much. I was in so much pain that I don’t know where the pain was coming from. Everything around me didn’t make sense anymore.

I blinked away the tears in my eyes. Jessica was saying something. Why does she look so frantic? I need to listen to what she was saying. I can’t miss out another detail of myself. Why was she looking so fearfully at me? Wait a minute…is the world tilting?

I didn’t feel anything even when my body hit the floor. I don’t even remember falling sideways off my chair. My mind was going blank. I don’t know if I was still breathing. Jessica was in front of me on her knees. There were tears in her eyes. Her lips were moving in silent words again. I wanted to tell her that I couldn’t hear what she was saying but I was just so exhausted. My soul felt weary and weak. My eyes blinked once and the world faded into black and grey.

One last drop of tear escaped the corner of my eye. "I'm sorry for being such a terrible son, mum..."

I blinked one last time. The grey was slowly fading into black. I could no longer see Jessica in front of me.

As everything turned to darkness around me, as it consumed me whole, I prayed never to wake up to this cruel world again.

author's note

Here you go! Jessica's side of the story...

And she has just revealed the biggest secret they have all kept from Key and Jonghyun!

Remember the part when Taemin was telling him how Jonghyun was the reason for his memory loss in a much earlier chapter? This is what he was talking about.

I know it's mostly a summary of what the others have been talking about but Key doesn't know anything at all so I figured that he should have some knowledge about it too... ^.^