listen to this while you read! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEqwDpnZFms)

Jonghyun’s POV

What. Did. He. Say?

I couldn’t breathe. I was inhaling gulps of air but my brain wasn’t receiving the oxygen. I can’t think straight. Minho’s words bounced off my skull in cave-like echoes. I refuse to accept it. It’s just not possible. No. It’s beyond any probability in this world. It’s impossible. It can’t be true. I don’t believe it. Any of it. I won’t believe it. The last of strength in my legs left me and I crumbled, kneeling to the ground. My hand instinctively clutched at the lock on my chest. I held it so tight the edges cut into my palm but I wouldn’t let go. I have always believed that this will bring him back. That it will unite us again.

I was wrong and the reason for my life is gone. Just like that. Forever.

Minho’s POV

I watched as Jonghyun’s stare changed from disbelief to shock to horror before losing what little glint of life it had the past few weeks. I watched still as he fell to his knees, his eyes glazed and unfocused. His hand came up slowly to grab the lock necklace like a broken doll. It was like watching him lose his one ray of light that bound his soul to his body. Now, all there is was the empty shell of a lifeless Kim Jonghyun. There was nothing left for me to get a read on anymore because there is no longer anything worth thinking of in his mind except for the one loss he dreaded most.

I clenched my fists, ignoring the stabbing pain in the bandage. I was sure they had started bleeding afresh again but this was absurd compared to that Jonghyun was feeling right now. I heaved a heavy sigh as I forced my head away and looked towards Onew, instead. He stood rooted to the spot a few steps away from me but his eyes were staring back and forth between Jonghyun and me. His mouth was agape like he had a hard time digesting the fact too. Thought after thought was flashing through his mind. He didn’t know if what I said was true and if it was true, what was he going to tell Jonghyun? What if I was only lying? What if it was a joke? No. he knew I wouldn’t joke about something as important as this.  Well, then what was he supposed to do to comfort him? Is there even a point in comforting him?

 When he met my eyes as he turned back to look at me, there was only one thought going through his head. Why did you do that to him?

I played the question over and over again in my head. Why did I do it? I don’t know. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know why I lied. Especially right after he was worried about my little injury. Was it because I know there is no hope left for them or maybe it’s because I know they will suffer even more pain if they found out about one another? Was it because I don’t want Key going through any more pain after what Taemin told me? Or perhaps I was sick of seeing Jonghyun living like he was dying every day? Were those the main factor of why I lied to Jonghyun? Was one of it the reason? No. They are all part of the motive but I know they aren’t the main factors. In fact, I knew all along because if those were the case, I would have found a better way to keep them apart. I would have done it so subtly that Jonghyun would feel little to no pain. So why? What’s the main purpose? Who am I doing this for?

I was just too afraid to admit it because I knew from the very beginning that the main equation here was me.

Onew finally ran up to Jonghyun and put his arms around him. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do anything about it. I’m so very sorry,” he said in a helpless voice. “Cry it out if you want. I’ll understand. We will understand.” He looked towards me for support.

I blinked at him before catching on. I unnecessarily cleared my throat. Well, what was I supposed to say? My sincere condolence for your loss? But that was a lie. Then, should I say I was only joking, he’s actually pretending to be a she right now? He would think I am as crazy as he is. 

I will just have to stick to being me.

“Jonghyun, get up. Stop being so pathetic. It isn’t the end of the world,” I said in a rather mean way and immediately, he responded like I knew he would.

He pushed Onew out of the way as he rushed at me with a furious growl. I felt the force of his punch ringing in my ears as I was hurled backwards by the momentum before landing harshly on the floor.

“That’s more like it,” I said as I spat out blood from the gash in my inner cheek and wiped the back of my sleeve against my newly cut lip. 

“IT’S NOT TRUE! YOU’RE LYING!” he shouted in my face before starting to pace his room in agitation.

I sighed in relief. He was finally letting out all his raging emotions instead of keeping it in him and going crazy when he couldn’t handle them anymore.

 “When have I ever lied to you?” I asked him in a calm tone. Well, except for this one time.

Onew shot me a warning look as if to say ‘stop now. You’re only making it worse’ but I ignored him. I got back up on my feet and brushed the imaginary dust off my white skinny jeans.

“It’s time you move on. It’s time to stop this nonsense.” I was glaring at him and him at me. I held the eye contact for a few seconds before delivering the final blow. “Hyung, it’s time you grow up.”

Jonghyun came at me again but I stood my ground. I waited for him to close the distance. I waited for the second impact on my face. I was prepared to take the hit even if I know it will either break my nose or my jaw. I deserve this much after saying that to him but at the end of the day, I would still say that I was doing this for him like I did every other time except that this time, I will be part of the benefactor. This time, I was not only doing this for him. I was doing this for all three of us. My eyes remained unblinking as Jonghyun’s hand fisted into a ball of fury and pulled back for maximum power. I am definitely getting a cast after this, I thought as his fist began closing in inch by inch like I was seeing it in slow motion. Then, it was gone with a resounding crash to the left of my ear.

The wall had taken the hit in my place.

 I blinked once. “Why didn’t you?”  I asked looking towards the heaving Jonghyun to the left of me.

He lowered his fist from the wall and stumbled to a sitting position on the ground with his head down. “You’re right, Minho. You’re right all along. You’re always right. I’m sorry for taking it out on you, Minho. I’m sorry,” Jonghyun muttered, his voice broke towards the end.

“Hyung…”. For the first time in my life, I was in a loss for words. I, Choi Minho have got no idea what to say.

“I’m sorry, Minho. I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’m sorry.” I could hear the tears in his voice now. His words were dripping with every sense of regret and pain and loss.

I could tell that he was not apologising to me alone. He was apologising to everyone. He was feeling like he will never be able to make it up to any of us. He was sorry to Onew which he had neglected as a friend for as long as key and he had broken up. He was sorry to me for causing so much trouble and always expecting me to clean up after his dirty acts like I was his servant and not as his friend, his dongsaeng. He was sorry he had been such a bad friend. He felt bad for being a useless son. He regretted being born to this world. But above all else, he was sorry to Key. He was sorry for taking up an entire year of Key’s life. He was sorry for wasting Key’s time. He was sorry Key had to meet him when he could have met a better person. He could have fallen in love with a girl and they could have been happier. His life would have been much much better without him. Key would have gone taking beautiful memories with him instead of all those moments in which they had fought and quarrelled and cried as well as all those time when they had to tell each other that it was okay for the public to give them the eye, that they don’t care about what people think is right or wrong as long as they had one another, that it did not hurt them when people called them fags.

“WHY????!!!!” he held his head back and screamed at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his face.

Choi Minho, what have you done?

Kibum’s POV

It has been a week. A peaceful week without Jonghyun’s goofy smile and erted gestures. A week without having to see Minho’s face and get high blood pressure just listening to him speak. A week of work without any of this was actually a week in hell. Se Kyung and I alone cannot manage the amount of customers pouring in like water. I never used to notice how much we needed Minho’s brain to co-ordinate things and decide the best way to handle the crowd. It has always been a breeze with Minho around and when he finally took a break, we were slipping and sliding on our job. Drinks were being spilled. Dishes were being broken. Everything was chaotic and as if that wasn’t enough, they all had to ask me the one question I was wondering to myself, “Where’s your boyfriend?”

Every time they asked me that, I felt like smashing the tray in their face.

“Good job, Key,” Se Kyung smiled at me as we were sitting in the changing room when we had finally closed the café for the day.

“You, too,” I smiled back. “Hey, do you know what happened to Minho?”

She frowned at me. “I don’t know. He didn’t tell me anything. I couldn’t get through his phone, either.”

“Oh,” I muttered dejectedly.

“It’s crazy without him, huh?” she asked and I nodded. “Why did you ask, anyway?”

“Well, like you said, it’s crazy without him,” I replied casually.

“Yeah. Well, I’m leaving now. You’re closing the café again right?”

I nodded and watched her leave. I sighed in frustration. I didn’t add what I wanted to know most. I did not say “and he’s the only person who can tell me where Jonghyun is.” I was so close to saying it but I couldn’t in the end. I just can’t believe I’m thinking of him. I mean, we aren’t even a real couple. I was dragged into this only because he was being an idiot. So why am I worried? Why am I annoyed that I didn’t hear from him for the past seven days? Why does it feel weird not seeing his stupid smirks? Why does he have this effect on me? Why?

Get real, Kibum. You’re a guy. He’s a guy. You’re only being delusional, I convinced myself.

I groaned at my own stupidity and buried my face in my hands. Out of habit, I released one hand to grab at the chain around my neck. I took out the small key dangling from the chain and stared at it. Looking at the key in my hand always manage to make me feel better. I don’t know why but I feel secured and safe whenever I see it. I can never take it out even when I was having a bath or when I was going to sleep. It was like not having this around my neck makes me feel empty and incomplete. According to the nurse, this was the only possession I had on me when I went to the hospital for surgery. She looked annoyed when she told me that they had a hard time removing this necklace from my neck before going into the surgery room because I was putting up a fit when they tried to. It must mean that this was very important to me but there wasn’t any clue that can tell me anything besides the partially faded engraving of a few alphabets. It read J   GK Y. I had tried figuring out what it meant and what the spaces in between the alphabets are for but so far, I have got nothing. I often wonder where I got it from. Was it from my parents? Or did I get this from my girlfriend? But there is neither J nor G in my name. I tried asking Taemin too but he said he wasn’t the one who gave it to me and he doesn’t know who it came from.

My eyes darted left and right down the street when I was done with closing the shop. Usually, I do this to look out for any sign of danger so late in the night but today, I was contemplating which way to take. Should I take the usual way home like I do every day or should I take the longer way which will definitely pass through Jonghyun’s high class condominium?  I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut. Let my heart decide just this once, I thought as my legs carry me to the right.

I was now standing in front of Jonghyun’s condominium and I looked up to the highest floor. There was not a single lit room in sight. Could he be sleeping? Or is he not home yet? But it’s so late, already. Where could he be at this hour? Should I wait and see if he comes home? I was just about to come up with a decision when a voice called out behind me.

“Key?” 

hehe~ who do you think it is? ;p