Jonghyun’s POV

“Hey, aren’t you the guy I saw in school that day? You got dragged away by Onew, didn’t you?” I asked the girly looking guy in front of me when I went to open the door for him.

He gave me a glare and walked leisurely into the living room before turning around to face me. “I’m not here for you. I have better things to deal with so hand him over.”

I frowned at him and glanced towards Minho who was sitting idly on the couch. “He’s just there. You can have him anytime. I’d be glad to be rid of him, anyway.”

Minho sighed visibly from the couch with a shake of his head before saying, “He’s not here. By the way, Jonghyun, meet Taemin. Taemin, Jonghyun.”

“I know he is and you’re going to hand him over right now,” the boy snapped at him without so much as a care about the introduction. I think he had planned to downright ignore me until the very end.

My head went back and forth between the two of them. Wasn’t Taemin here for Minho? There’s no one else here besides the Minho and I unless…no, that’s not possible. Key’s a girl and even if he wanted her, he would have to step over my dead body to get to her. But first, I have to know what the hell was going on.

“Um, guys. I’m a little lost here. What are we talking about? If this doesn’t concern me, can you two take it outside and spare me a headache? I would very much appreciate your kind co-operation and it’s nice to meet you, Taemin,” I said.

Minho gave another exaggerated sigh as he got up from the couch and walked up to us. “He was here. He left already and neither of us knows where he went off to.”

Taemin narrowed his eyes at Minho. “I don’t believe you.”

“Big surprise,” Minho shrugged. “Well, if you’re going to be adamant about it, then by all means, search the house. Call out to him.”

My jaw dropped open. Who in the world gave him the authority to start giving others search warrants to my house?

“Hey! This is my house!” I said indignantly. “Why would you give the permission for him to search my house? And who is this he you’re talking about anyway? There’s no one else here besides the three of us in this room right now.”

Taemin opened his mouth to say something but Minho got ahead of him. “Jonghyun, if you won’t let him do a search, then just tell him that Key isn’t here and that you have no idea where he went off to.”

“I’ve already told you!” I said hotly. “How many times do I have to repeat myself? She’s not-,” I froze. “Hold on…You referred to Key as he…the two of you…You were talking about Key all along, weren’t you? And you said he instead of she...” my head was reeling.

Taemin gaped at Minho. “You never told him? I thought you would have…you always tell him everything…”

“You made me promise not to tell and so I didn’t. I’m a man of my words, Taemin.”

My head went back and forth between them. This conversation kept twisting out of shape the more they talk about it. What does he mean when he said Minho never told me? Does that mean Minho knew something all along and he hid it from me? But what does he know? What isn’t he telling me? What don’t I know? Why am I always kept in the dark? What is this about Key being a he? Don’t tell me he’s been a boy all along? Key can’t be cross dressing like Kibum used to, can sh-he…she…oh, whatever!

“Minho,” my voice shook with anger. “What is he talking about? What aren’t you telling me?”

Minho put his hands in his pockets and met my glare steadily. “Kibum is alive, Jonghyun but I think you know that already. You were eavesdropping on Taemin and Onew in school that day, weren’t you? That’s why you found me after that. You were on to me with so much of rage demanding why I lied to you.”

What Minho said hit me hard in the face and I took a step back weakly like I was trying to put a safe distance between me and his words…like I knew they would hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt before.

“What I heard that day…the things you talked about to Onew…,” I looked at Taemin who was determined to avoid eye contact with me. “It’s true, then. He’s alive. He’s alive and I can continue searching for him,” I allowed myself a brief smile of relief and sheer happiness before I turned to Minho, next. “But that means you did lie to me. You lied to me, Minho and you’ve never done that before…why? Why now?”

“I did and I don’t regret it. I was doing it for your own good. I was protecting you from things you can never understand,” he said calmly and somehow, that only made me angrier.

I stormed up to him and grabbed his collar. “How could you say that? You lied about his death, Minho! Kibum’s death! You knew how much he means to me. You knew he’s worth more than my own life is and you still used him as a lie against me! And don’t give me that crap about me not understanding things! How old do you think I am? I’m not a kid anymore and you’re not my parents for crying out loud! You are just a substitute of them to keep me in check! That’s all you’ve ever been these years!” I was breathing heavily when I had finished yelling at him.

“Done?” Minho said still in his calming tone as if nothing of what I said had affected him.

I gave a roar of outrage and slammed my fist against his jaw. Taemin gave a yelp of surprise as Minho flew sideways out of my grip and landed on the floor.

“What’s the matter with you?” I roared at him. “Are you really that emotionless? Does nothing you do to me hurt you even a bit? Do you not feel guilty for lying to me? I thought we were brothers, Minho!”

He gave a small chuckle from the floor as he massaged his jaw. “Do you realise how contradicting your words are. You just said that we were brothers when earlier; you said I was just a mere substitute of your parents to keep you tamed.”

I ignored him as I struggled to lower my temper.

Taemin walked over to help Minho up but the latter just shook his head as he got to his feet by himself. “Why do you think you need someone to keep an eye on you when your parents aren’t around? It’s because you behave like a kid. You just did. You solve problems with your fist instead of using your head. Do you think anyone for that matter would trust you to be on your own? Now, let me ask you one simple question since you mentioned your parents. Do you know where they are?”

Taemin shook his head warningly. “Minho, don’t do this. No matter how much I hate this guy, I don’t think you should do it.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What are you getting at, now? Of course I know where they are. They’re in Japan right now supervising over the newly opened hotel branch in Tokyo.”

Minho gave a small sigh. “That’s what I told you, didn’t I?”

“Minho…,” Taemin called out warningly again.

I felt as if my insides were all knotted together. “What do you mean? You lied to me about this too?”

“Tell me something, hyung. When was the last time you saw them?”

I blinked as my mind went blank on me. “I don’t know,” I said slowly after awhile. “I…I can’t remember…why can’t I remember? I just saw them…I saw them…” my hand went up to grab a handful of hair. I honestly can’t remember. Every time I tried to recall the last time I was with them, I kept hitting dead ends and an unnatural dark hole would fill my head…as if it’s preventing me from remembering.

“That’s it,” Taemin said. “I’m out of here. He’s obviously not here and I don’t want to be a part of this. I’m going to look for him elsewhere,” and with that said, he his heel and went out the door with my voice command.

Minho turned his attention back to me when the door had slammed shut. He heaved a sigh as if all this was tiring him. “The last time you saw them, hyung, was when-.”

He was interrupted by the shrill ringing of his phone. He glanced my way as if contemplating if he should answer the phone but I gave him a shrug and turned around. It’s not like we’re going anywhere and I think I needed some time to digest this and reorganize my thoughts into understandable puzzle pieces.

“What is it, Jessica?” Minho asked impatiently.

Jessica? The girl he had introduced to me at school? The one he said that I had hurt key for? But what could she possibly want with Minho? Don’t tell me that they are-

“Oh, no you didn’t!” Minho spat angrily.

I turned back to face him with a questioning look on my face. What now?

“What?! He fainted?” he asked disbelievingly.

I frowned. Who fainted? Why?

“Where are you? Where is he?” he asked impatiently. He was already walking to the door and I followed closely behind him. “I’m coming over right now so don’t you move an inch. I want you to look after him.”

“What was that about?” I was curious. Not many things can get Minho so worked up.

Minho stopped and his shoulders rose and fell before he turned to face me. “You’re coming with me and I’ll explain on the way to the hospital. I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

“The hospital? We’re going to the hospital? But why? Is someone we know there? Is it Onew?” I asked, panicking.

Minho took a deep breath before he looked seriously into my eyes. “No. It’s not Onew. It’s Kibum.”

My breathing started off normal but then, it turned hollow and fast. My body rejected what little oxygen I was breathing into my lungs. I didn’t know how or when but I suddenly realised I was kneeling on the floor. Minho was in front of me, his eyes burning into mine. His mouth was open and words were spilling out of it but I couldn’t hear anything. I was too out of focus to get what he was saying. My mind only registered one thing…that Kibum was in danger….that I may never see him again.

One after the other, they kept coming to stab me in the heart. They never give the wound enough time to heal. They never give me the chance to believe in fate. They never let me hope. I had lived for more than a year thinking that I would never once see him again but still, I hoped and I prayed. I held on to what little faith I have in me to keep on going, to keep on searching for him in hopes that one day some day, I will see him again. It doesn’t matter how he would react to seeing me. It wouldn’t matter if he has someone else already. All I wanted to know was why…why he left me the way he did back then. What did I do wrong? I can’t go on living not knowing the reason to our breakup. It haunts me day and night whether or not I was dreaming in my sleep. The fact that we were once so perfect…we were everything anyone wanted to be…and yet, now we were anything anyone could be. This was not something I could accept with a simple goodbye. Not when I love him more than anyone can imagine.

Something was shaking my shoulders. I think I can hear somebody shouting at me. I blinked once and Minho came into clearer focus. It was his hands that were on my shoulders. He was shaking me back and forth. His mouth was still moving in silent words. I concentrate on them now.

“Hyung! Hyung, snap out of it!” he shouted at me. “We don’t have time for this!”

“Mi-Minho…” I said dreamily.

“Get a grip on yourself. This isn’t you! What happened to the guy just a minute ago? What happened to the anger? You’re stronger than this, hyung!” he said, looking very determinedly into my eyes willing the message to get across to me. “You have always believed, haven’t you? You believed you would see him again. No matter how much Onew and I convince you to move on, you never stopped searching for him and now, you’ve found him. You can finally see him after all these times,” he added with a softer tone.

I blinked as my mind took time to process what he said. “I- I can finally see him?”

“Yes, Jonghyun hyung. You can see him now…” Minho gave me a smile.

I let his words wash through my body. I felt it eliminating the cold clammy feeling out of my system and energising my body to the fingertips. There was really no point in torturing myself right now. It’s meaningless to come up with all kinds of negative assumptions and let myself be consumed with my emotions. What I need to do now was to see Kibum with my own eyes. When I have seen him and when I can truly touch and feel him in front of me, then I will let myself succumb to all the questions and insecurity that would follow.

I pushed myself up to my feet and inhaled a large gulp of air. I faced Minho and returned his smile. “You’re right. This isn’t me. This isn’t how I’m supposed to be but that doesn’t mean I‘ve forgiven you.”

Minho gave a half hearted shrug as he walked to the door. I tailed closely behind him.

I was certain that there were many things I still don’t know of and what I do know of, I wasn’t sure if it was another lie to keep me from hunting after the truth. Questions after questions are piling up in my head right now. There were so many things I want answers to but the answers I want can’t come from just anybody. It has to be Minho. Well, partly because he was the one who had spouted all those lies so it would be natural for him to be the one to correct them. Another reason (the main reason, really) was that somehow, even though I knew he had been lying to me for god knows how long, he was still the one and only person I could and would trust. Somehow, I knew that he would only lie to protect me no matter how tacky that sounded especially when you imagine Minho. But mostly, a part of me knew that Minho would never ever betray me. That’s why…no matter how much I want to be angry with him, I know I can’t. I just won’t be for long. I may be angry with him for now but believe me; it will pass within this very day. Well, we may not be bonded by blood but we are brothers for life, after all.

“Hey, Minho?”

He turned around and stopped my fist in midair. “I knew you were going to do that,” he smirked. “And I would have let you get on with it if we weren’t going to the hospital,” he released my hand.

“I will get you,” I warned him and muttered *open* to the door. I didn’t exactly put energy into the punch, anyway. “And you still owe me one hell of an explanation.”

“Keep talking like that and you will get nothing out of me.”

Author's note

I'm finally back home and totally enjoying my one month holiday! This was supposed to be posted a week ago but I couldn't find the time to actually post it up because I was out every single day and by the time I'm home I was too exhausted. I'm so sorry for that and I'm very thankful for the patience and loyalty you have shown me. It really does mean a lot to me. Anyway, I hope you like this very late update and I'll try my best to update within the next two weeks before I'm consumed with studies again! That is the least that I can do for all you wonderful readers!