Reflection

Park Bom: I didn't had the chance to answer her, she quickly got out of the restroom and a few moments more, she walked towards the entrance. I saw Chaerin run after her. When I went back to our table, Dara was looking at me, worried.

"What happened?", she asked.

"I don't know what Ijust did, I'm so stupid."

"Yah, did you confessed to her already?"

"I tried to talk to her about what happened last night.", I said. Good Lord, I haven't told her about it yet.

"Wait, what last night, Bommie? Did you two had a fight?", Dara asked, wanting to know the exact situation.

"Well... Okay, something happened, we ended up in bed together.", I told her.

"You two, ended up in bed together, like... oh my God Bommie..." She was so shocked that she just stared at me for a couple of minutes.

"Did Mingkki got angry because of that?"

"I don't know. When I woke up this morning, she already went out."

A brief silence came after. I was waiting for her to say something, but she just looked at her plate. I was so stupid to confront Minji earlier. I shouldn't have done that.

"You think I shouldn't have talked to her about it?"

"Well first, you shouldn't have slept with her!", she replied. I knew Dara was upset basing on the tone of her voice. "I know you have feelings for her, but still... she's not even legal Bommie. She's not with her parents, so we as the unnies should take care of her. We are her family. I think you should really apologize to her."

"Oh, I'm so stupid, I felt like I took advantage of her."

"Please try to talk to her and sort things out, Bommie. Mingkki is in a stage where she's confused with what she wants- what she wants for her life, work, love. We all went through that stage. We need to let her choose what path she wants to go, what love she wants to have. If she doesn't want to talk, let her be. I know she will open up someday."

I came to realize what Dara just told me. She was right. Minutes later, CL came back to our table.

"Well?", Dara asked her.

"Well, she went home. She said she needs to rest and some time to reflect.", CL answered back. "What happened anyway?"

Dara and I looked at each other. Giving her nod as a sign, I told Chaerin what happened as well.

Minzy: Leaving my unnies during dinner made me felt bad, but I think it's the right thing to do. The tension between me and Bom unnie is getting worse, and I couldn't stand it especially when CL and Dara unnie are around. They've been very helpful to me giving me words of encouragement, but I still think that I am the only one who can solve my own issue.

I went straight to my room as I got home. I didn't turn the lights on. Instead I opened my window and pulled the curtains away. The lights coming from the building across Han River served as my room lighting. I stared at them as I lay on my bed. "The flickering lights are beautiful", I said. They're like stars here on Earth. I wish they were real stars. Thoughts came in to my mind one by one. I suddenly missed my family- mom who always make excellent meal, my dad who always drives me to school, my sister whom I share secrets. My grandmother who always adored me and told me to follow my dreams. If those city lights were stars, I wish my grandmother was one of them so that I can get and keep it.

Tears started running down my cheeks.

I thought of my friends who were already in college and having good time with their lives. I miss school too. But I know that following my dreams of being a singer means sacrificing something important to you, including education. Our boss told me I can get an exam to go to college, but with our schedules I didn't have the time to focus on it.

Cold wind rushed inside my room. I hugged my pillow tight and continued staring at the city lights.

I thought of Taemin. I promised him something that I won't be able to give. I was so impulsive to do it. In a few days he will be out of the country and is expecting an answer from me. How will I tell him that I cannot fulfill my promise of being her girlfriend once I get legal? I know he will hate me and I cannot blame him if it happens. I really do like him, but I just can't see myself being with him until I get old.

It was Bom unnie whom I want to be with. It was her that I want to be with when I'm happy, sad, angry, the one I want to be with even if we are not singers anymore. I've been in love with her from our training days. Sometimes I think if it's love that I felt, because I'm still young. I've never felt this way towards anyone, especially with a guy. But what happened last night, I don't if that's real or not. She knows that I love her, I feel like she took advantage on me for it. But no, unnie is not like that. She's not like that. I wish eveything will go back to what it was used to be. I miss our times together, I miss her shouting and running around the aparntment chasing me when I . I miss the funny Bom unnie. That's what I will do for now. I will forget everything and focus on our comeback activities.

As I began to doze off, I heard the sound of the security code, and the door opened. She's home, I said. The lights in the living room . I stood up to check on her, when I saw her shadow stopped. She's standing in front of my bedroom. Then a soft knock on the door came. I didn't move.

She stood there for a couple of minutes. I couldn't decide if I should open it or not, but I carefully walked towards the door.

"Minji-yah, I'm so sorry", she said. What's she talking about?

"Minji-yah, I've been a bad unnie. I should be the one looking after you, but what did I do? What have I done to you?" I can tell by her voice that she's crying now. I want to open the door and hug her, I can's stand my unnie crying. But I decided to listen.

"I went on vacation to try to forget this stupid feeling I have for you. When I was in Paris, I tried dating, but still I cannot get you out of my mind. When I learned about you and Taemin, I avoided reading the paper and going to the internet, it hurts me to see your pictures together. My 5 months vacation was not vacation at all because I cannot forget you, so I decided to come back and just forget everything. But what did I do? Instead, I... I took advantage of you. I am so stupid to do that, Minji-yah, I'm so sorry. I wish... I wish all these things would just go away."

"Unnie", I whispered. I can hear her sobs and again, tears fell down on my cheeks.

After a while, she walked away from my door.