DISCLAIMER:

I AM NOT A CRITIC, I AM JUST A NORMAL READER WHO WILL HELP YOU WITH HOW A READER LIKES YOUR STORY

Picture: Reminds me of some dark-horror R rated movie. Seeing how your story is in mystrey genre, I would say it's well suited.

 Description & Foreword: The mystery was beautifully built from the very beginning of the story. "You can't trust everyone" that one statement makes you ready for the what is to come. I only had problem with when you switched to Lay's first person pov. It was too abrupt. It seem like a third person POV but this switch to 1st person leaves me confused for a while. You can, just for the intoductiory, kept it at third person. 

Foreword, I was confused at the pairings. Why did you put pairings? Was it an ? There is not much to say about your Foreword.

Just as a sidenote: Whoa! you have gave this story to every reviewer there is. Why? Are you insecure about your writting? Wanted to see how everyone else reacted? To get the word out about your story? It's like every reviewer I go to, I am kind of uncomfortable to read this to be honest, I feel like I can't offer you anything new that you already haven't heard or comment on something whereas others have already clarifed. I hope you don't take my commentary to mind. 

Story: The Story is complete. It has 13 chapter all together and each chapters are medium in lenght. It falls on  mystery and action genre, something that is not much seen in AFF. Especially with EXO as their main character. 

One thing that I will tell you is that, you have a good hand on writting details. You explained stuff really well and even though I am in a very light mood right now, your description made me concerntrated on what was going on and I felt like I was watching them in a dark cell. 

So Here it is~

Are you bored of EXO being the Kingkas or Just plain couple?

Do you want to read a well written but short fiction?

If you want to read a mystery

Please check out 

Mercy 

by 

PandaMwah